


I can tell that we are going to be friends

by Dryiceshizuku



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Again, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Chanyeol is trying, Coming of Age, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Episodic Chapters, Fluff, I promise, Light Angst, M/M, Rivalry, Roommates, Slow Burn, Yearning, and there're two timelines, and they were ROOMMATES, baekhyun is dense, but maybe he's trying too much, but this time in fiction, if that makes sense, it's less complicated when you read it, kind of?, no matter what universe they will always end up being roommates, oh my god they were roommates, they're good kids, though they both follow a chronological order, yes-again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-01-26 14:16:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 57,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21375475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dryiceshizuku/pseuds/Dryiceshizuku
Summary: Going back to the time when he was young and free, Chanyeol recalls the different events that led him to live in this kind of present.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 22
Kudos: 52





	1. Take me back to the start

“I can’t believe we’re doing this again.”

“What, are you tired of losing all the time?”

There was a pause, and then a forced laugh.

Apparently, Baekhyun was having none of his shit, who was turning around to face him properly, and how easy it was to see his plan had worked out by seeing the smirk the boy was wearing. But that didn’t last long.

“I could swear you’re the only one who thinks that way,” the boy said returning to his usual glazed expression, awakening the same passionate fire Chanyeol was so used to fight every time the blond showed no interest in their obviously crucial contests, leaving a sore taste on his tongue.

There was something different about the shorter these days, however. And that was a realization Chanyeol didn’t like to admit at loud, not even to make fun of Baekhyun.

Something he couldn’t name, and yet he couldn’t ignore.

The two students were passing by some crowded streets now, skipping the people who were too busy to send them any kind of look back in their direction.

Walking straight into an old-fashioned building at the end of the next corner, the silence started to take place in the noisy life of the city.

A thought invaded his mind when looking up to the series of windows now in front of them. And based on the grunt he received from the other before even saying anything, they both knew what was about to happen in the next seconds.

“I challenge you to reach the 7th floor before I do. If I’m the first one to arrive, you will do whatever I ask you to, but if you win, I’ll do whatever you want.” The corners of his mouth turned up in a smile no matter how much he tried not to show he was enjoying these never-ending competitions.

Raising an eyebrow, Baekhyun glared at him as if analyzing his proposal for a moment before sighing with closed eyes. “Okay, but–”

“Too slow!” he shouted, leaving the cold air of the outside to run up the stairs with all his will. There was no time to lose. Not for Chanyeol.

Calloused hands grabbing the dusty stairway handrails, and loud steps announcing its proximal arrival. Nothing but excitement filling his body like a familiar tale he had memorized since a kid.

It was nothing new, so why did it always felt that way with the other?

Chanyeol had run out of breath when reaching the last floor, not knowing whether the last ray of sunshine coming through the square glass in nothing but warm hues was the responsible behind his momentary difficulty to see or not.

The day was finally coming to an end, but there was nothing to think at that moment apart from winning.

Life could be as simple as that sometimes. And how much he had missed the good old days, and how many things he would trade to go back to the time his responsibilities weren’t as big as they were now.

Pushing the door with a hand, he stepped outside the stairwell with a victory grin that soon banished. Because there was Baekhyun, standing a few meters away from him, adjusting his backpack over his shoulders with no sign of tiredness on his features.

“Wait, h–how could you–”

“The elevator,” Baekhyun cut him off unimpressed.

Opening and closing his mouth several times in frustration, Chanyeol walked closer to the other. “How come you always win, you lazy kitter?”

After hearing the last word, Baekhyun blinked twice before grabbing something from his pants pocket. “Why do you always call me like that? I’m not even fond of cats.”

Resting his head on the wall, Chanyeol saw a plain plastic keychain on Baekhyun’s hand. “What do you like then?” he asked casually. Not like he cared about knowing or anything.

And then he heard a click coming from a door, and god, he was sure he could smell the warm scent of coffee he was sure to have smelt so many hours ago.

Suddenly, the hallway lacked illumination now that a new light was turned on in a room in front of him, and he didn’t waste any time to step into the safe chamber, afraid of being left behind in the darkness.

There was a pile of clothes in a laundry basket beside the washing machine, a couple of trash bags if his nose didn’t fail him to perceive, and way too many dishes on the sink to count from where he was. But none of that mattered when the tiny apartment felt like home.

Chanyeol flinched when he crashed into a small figure, one that only dared to move his head to one side to acknowledge his presence. The face of someone who didn’t even care about mocking him.

“Doggos. Now let’s talk about all the dishes we didn’t wash this morning.”

Had anyone told Chanyeol he was going to be living with his enemy before, he would have called them crackheads and punched them with those fiery fists of him.

But contrary to what his past self would have thought, the Chanyeol of the present had sure changed. Because when he saw Baekhyun tidying up the mess of the kitchen to make things easier for him, a part of Chanyeol would tell him how lucky he was.

Shaking his head, he moved ahead and reached for Baekhyun’s wrist, stopping him in track and reciprocating the gaze he was giving him for a quiet moment until the running water reminded them what they were supposed to be doing and they returned to their tasks in silence.

\---

Teenagers. The group of people who are neither adults nor are they kids anymore, and the ones the rest of the people from all ages always talked with strong negativity.

For someone like Chanyeol, who had once been an easy-going boy who didn’t care much about what happened around him, puberty had hit him like a brick on the face, or the brain if he had to be clear.

Along with the embarrassing changes his body began to suffer, it also came the shift of mindset he never thought would ever change.

Up until that moment, matters like being outstanding were never an issue for him, a lover of friendships and seeker of silly adventures. He didn’t have the time to focus on his studies when every day meant a new opportunity to try new things.

Why would he worry about being the number one in the first place? What could that possibly bring him if not unnecessary stress?

It wasn’t like he didn’t study either, but why would anyone go all their way to achieve perfection? He just couldn’t get it.

Or that was until he entered high school, and his reduced view of the world until then was exposed to a wider truth. One that made him feel uncomfortable. A truth that scared him deeply.

Having been the youngest son of the family, Chanyeol had grown up being the center of attention. Whatever he wanted, he got it, never having to put any effort into going for his goals.

That was probably why when he started his first day on high school with a lot of students he had never seen before in his life until that day, the truth he had always thought as a fact became a lie in front of his eyes; the little kid who had always been special wasn’t as special anymore.

It didn’t take much for Chanyeol to see how many qualities he lacked in contrast to a bunch of classmates who were smarter than him, more skilled at sports than him, and better than him in pretty much everything. Perhaps a week or less.

The fact that most of his closest friends –friends who had similar personalities to his– ended up on different classes or transferred to other schools could also count as one of the reasons why everything seemed to have changed in his world.

And just like that, the Chanyeol who was perfectly okay with his position in life disappeared to greet the newest version of himself and his new monster of a friend; the frightful low self-esteem.

Without a single close relationship inside the classroom, and with no real talents –academically speaking at least– Chanyeol had made up his mind after a tiring day of dealing with his poor abilities.

His old days as a carefree child had come to an end. He no longer wished to sleep on his opportunities.

It was time to work hard for the spotlight.

To become someone worthy.

A little more than a month had passed since Chanyeol’s first day of high school, and no trace of his old self could be found anymore.

He had never believed in his mother’s words about how much people could change if they wanted to until now, never paying attention to what he should.

“Hey, Chanyeol”

That was what he heard as soon as he entered the classroom that morning, still too early to find any of his classmates who weren’t one of his new smart friends.

Just by hearing the sound of the pencils, he could guess who the person he was about to greet was, confirming his assumption when seeing someone’s school utilities perfectly arranged over a clean desk.

Holding up his hand, Chanyeol waited until his friend raised his head to wave back at him. “Morning, Kyungsoo. Are you ever planning on arriving 5 minutes later than every morning?” he asked with a playful tone, noticing the look Kyungsoo was giving him.

“Not for now, thanks for your concern.”

Dropping the topic, Kyungsoo moved to the windows with quick steps while Chanyeol shuffled when walking behind him and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, yawning loudly.

Without sharing any other word, the two boys followed their routine of opening the classroom’s curtains before running to the teacher’s table, being the first one to grab the blackboard duster the responsible for cleaning the board.

That was what they had been doing for a while, ever since Chanyeol decided to become a top student.

During the first days of classes, he had got to learn most of his classmates’ names, but he had also figured out their personalities as well as their quirks.

In the jungle of a class he had been thrown without prior notice there were all kind of people; there were noisy brats, there were cocky students who liked to show off, but among them all, there were two classmates that Chanyeol had seen have a good performance on most of the subjects with a peculiar humility he hadn’t seen in his past experience at school.

All it took him to get closer to the two boys who had caught his attention was to approach them after an assignment, requesting to work as a group as he explained his desire to be a better student, something that illuminated the two faces in an instant.

Chanyeol got to know later that what made his now-friends accept him in that first instance what his honesty, one of the rarest characteristics to find on people, as Junmyeon had told him one day.

Just as said boy, also known as the president of the class, made his way into them and smiled cheerfully at Kyungsoo after the latter had jumped in surprise at his sudden arrival, Chanyeol rested his head on his hands while sighing.

When peeking outside the four walls, there was morning dew adorning each of the cherry blossoms, a beautiful sight to behold before the steady silence could be broken.

A long day of duties was about to start, and he couldn’t be any more excited to receive it with open arms.

\---

Chanyeol had fallen into a comfortable routine for the past few weeks, finding his place in this new chapter of his life. Every day was the same, until one day it wasn’t anymore.

That was the day when saw him for the first time.

There was nothing particular about that Monday, not a single difference between all the previous first classes of the week and this one that could hint what was about to happen, so when the often-late teacher had stood right next to the door after waiting for the students to sit, it came as a surprise to hear him call for a person none of them could yet see.

Many years would have passed after that sunny morning, but Chanyeol would still remember it perfectly, even now.

When the math’s teacher opened the door and let a petite boy entered the classroom, all the noise in the room stopped at once, dozens of eyes focused on one single body with unspoken words wandering through the air. Chanyeol’s eyes were lost on the facial features though, not a thought running around his mind for a moment.

He didn’t have the chance to hear the new student’s speech, as it seemed his head had shut down and didn’t intend to continue functioning. There was however one thing his ears caught at the end of the self-introduction, and that was–

“Baekhyun, Byun Baekhyun. I’ll ask you to take care of him from now on.”

A forced smile.

Ah, that was unexpected.

Scratching the skin under his earlobe, Chanyeol followed the unfamiliar face moving through the area with no noticeable agitation, no anxiety detected on his actions as the curious whispering started to grow at the back.

Why couldn’t he stop looking at his small frame for a second? He didn’t know. Did he have something that stood out for Chanyeol? Nothing apparent if he was asked. So why?

Baekhyun, as he now knew he was called, was pretty normal, with two droopy eyes that gave him a younger appearance for his age and a small nose that went well with his round face.

Chanyeol’s gaze was lingering on the other’s lips as a thought came and heated his cheeks when the unfazed kid turned to him. And as soon as their eyes met, a loud cough coming from the teacher’s desk made him look away, not without noticing the lingering of the other’s gaze upon him for a little longer.

The lesson started, and more than an hour was filled with one unique voice that wasn’t as pleasing to hear anymore as it had been during the past month.

The rest of the day went by quickly, with a busy schedule that made everyone forget about the time until reaching home with heavy shoulders and a bag full of books.

On a night like that, Chanyeol’s sleep would come the second his head touched the pillow, but this time it took him at least ten minutes for him to fall asleep, daydreaming about the cute classmate he had yet to know, and trying to guess what kind of person the guy was until his eyelids failed him, and darkness embraced him.

“Open up your books on page 21”

“Could you repeat the number again, Mr.?”

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes at one of their classmates’ question; an obvious habit the laid-back boy seemed to have that didn’t pass unnoticed to him because of how many times he would happen to hear the request per day.

The topic of the lesson was of Chanyeol’s interest, and any other day he would have taken as many notes as he could, but today’s Chanyeol was busy sneaking a glance at the only person that hadn’t spoken to anyone since the start of the class, nearly jumping when the history teacher stood in between him and Baekhyun.

If the teacher decided to ask him a question, he thought right then, he was fucked. There was no way he would guess the answer to any of his questions when the only thing he had written was the title and the date, and a few words that could count as brainstorm.

As he bit his lower lip, the teacher turned around to face Byun Baekhyun.

He didn’t know if he should feel relief for saving his own ass and later reprimand himself for not paying attention, or to feel bad for who was the new guy. But a part of him alerted his system, excited to hear what the boy had to answer and see what kind of a character he was.

When Baekhyun’s answer came, he realized he wasn’t the only one who was left speechless at his classmate’s skills.

Baekhyun had given the right answer, that was true, but the way he stated his opinion with clear conviction and with not a hint of fear, or any kind of emotion anyone would expect a new student would feel when getting used to a different environment was certainly impressive.

He didn’t stutter, nor did he use an impolite tone of voice. Actually, Baekhyun took his time when answering, keeping his eyes on the teacher’s without blinking as he spoke, or if he did, Chanyeol couldn’t tell. Only when he stopped talking did his gaze returned to his notebook.

Looking at him lost on his own world, there was one word that could be read all over his face, and that was… _indifference._ As if what he had done didn’t matter to him.  
He was brilliant, and he probably knew that, but he didn’t care. Not at all.

Baekhyun didn’t see Chanyeol frowning at him right then. He didn’t know how hot his head felt and what a mess of an emotion wreck he became.

After that event, the lesson continued as if nothing had happened, but Chanyeol didn’t look to his side again for the rest of the class.

Watching most of the girls and boys chasing Baekhyun and asking him questions related to different subjects during the recess didn’t help either, no when the person in the center of the attention didn’t bat an eye at the people surrounding him when they expressed their notorious admiration. A polite nod was all they would get from him.

“Chanyeol?”

The hand on his shoulder brought him back to reality, a curious Junmyeon shaking him with light force, guiding them to their friend who was already standing next to the circle of people wearing sports uniforms.

“Hurry up, you two,” shouted the young teacher in charge of the P.E class.

Even though the season had brought back the burning sun and the colorful flowers abounded around the city, the chilly wind could still send shivers down his body.

“Okay kids, today we’ll have a fun activity at the end of the lesson,” said Ms. Sejeong while stretching, making everybody copy her movements. “But first, we’ll follow the last class routine.”

The next hour was spent by doing a fitness circuit, cold hands long-forgotten, and sweaty foreheads suffering under wet hair. When the time of working in pairs came, Chanyeol would take turns to work with Kyungsoo first before going with Junmyeon, as they had decided to do previously.

Finally, the time for the extra task had come. The class had gathered around the teacher once again, coughing and whining.

“I’m telling you, it’s gonna be football again,” Chanyeol said while leaning on Kyungsoo’s shoulder, who never flinched to push the former’s hand away despite the fake pouts Chanyeol would give him every time.

“So, as I told you earlier, today we’ll do an activity– Jongdae, Minseok, I’m sure you are talking about a matter of life or death, but could you please let me continue?”  
“Sorry Ms. Sejeong!” shouted the two boys at the same time.

“Thank you. Today’s activity is called back-to-back–”

Before she could continue, the grumbles of a whole crowd were heard around the volleyball court.

“If all of you know the instructions already, then we’ll start immediately.”

Someone who couldn’t be seen in between all the people yet rose a hand then, revealing themselves when the others moved away to let them speak clearly.

Chanyeol snorted.

“I don’t know the rules,” Baekhyun simply said, not noticing the confused expressions the people around him were giving him or probably choosing to ignore them.

Before the teacher could explain anything, Minseok –one of the noisiest students of the school, and therefore close friends with golden throat Jongdae– walked closer to Baekhyun until his hands rested on the smaller’s waist. Coughing once, Baekhyun quickly recovered his previous stern attitude before glancing at him.

“We can explain it to him,” added Jongdae loud enough to be heard from the back of the circle.

“Ok, then I’ll start forming the pairs.”

While everyone was waiting for their names to be called, Chanyeol was already thinking about the best options to win the game in a short time, analyzing each movement his mind could come up with.

He could position his body at this exact angle to make the descending part easier, and he could push with all his strength to stand up in less time, or maybe he–

“Park Chanyeol, and…”

A smile was spreading through his face, pure adrenaline filling his body thanks to his competitive ass and his strong desire to prove himself worthy with each given opportunity. Chanyeol was so happy that even after hearing the name of his partner, his smile lasted a few more seconds before turning into a sour grimace.

“Byun Baekhyun. Get together please.”

Baekhyun was still talking with the two rascals when the teacher called his name, and while Chanyeol was staring at him since then with a clenching jaw, this body part relaxed right when Baekhyun’s eyes finally found his at the other end.

He had to remind himself of all the negative traits the boy walking to him had, such as his stupid personality, and his stupid little face. What a stupid, insufferable boy he was, and what a strange attitude he possessed.

He was too lost searching for every single word he could use to paint a bad image of the boy in his head to notice their distance had been reduced to zero, with the brunette boy standing unbearably close to him.

“Hi, I’m Baekhyun,” he said without breaking eye contact.

“I know.”

He was sure to have given Baekhyun a cynical smile, but the other seemed to not have caught up the mood, which somehow made him even angrier.

“Two of our classmates taught me the steps of the game, but I’m afraid I didn’t understand everything we–”

“Yeah, yeah, we’ll do it like I say,” Chanyeol cut him off.

He looked like he had given it a thought in a split of a second. “Okay"

It surprised him how easy it was to persuade him to follow his orders, a part of him feeling guilty for taking advantage of his apparent naivety, but he rushed to shrug it off.

“Are we ready, class?”

“Yes!”

All the cries from the other kids created a surreal atmosphere, one where everybody could set free for some moments as only young people could.

“Then, three–”

Chanyeol looked up at Baekhyun, who was staring back motionless, just waiting.

“Two–”

Placing his hands over his shoulders, he ignored the urge to laugh at the funny kid, turning him around and positioning his arms as he needed them.

“One–”

Turning around in a flash, he intertwined their arms together, taking a deep breath.

“Go!”

And the music came back.

The failed attempt of squatting, forearms rubbing forearms, the push and pull of their bodies. Everything was happening too fast at their surroundings to catch up, the only sure thing was their horrible teamwork.

When Chanyeol tried to get down to sit on the floor, Baekhyun would push too hard and they would end up losing balance, and vice versa.

Noticing most of the class succeeding on the activity, jumping and celebrating when they couldn’t even complete the first part of the task was a failure for Chanyeol, a complete failure.

How could he ever achieve anything when he couldn’t even win a game?

“Hurry up, Chanyeol! Or you’re tidying up the mess during the recess.”

Pushing with more force, the chants of Baekhyun’s name and the laughs coming from the people around them made him tense.

For the last minute he had stopped feeling the strong pushes from Baekhyun’s back against his, so when he turned his head to check on his teammate, he found out there was only one person who had the intention of winning, all the noise and the fatigue finally riling him up.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

Fewer voices could be heard now.

“Pardon?”

“I asked what you think you’re doing because it seems to me you’re not doing anything.”

Baekhyun was silent, still. Chanyeol, on the contrary, was all fired up.

“And if you don’t mind, I’m trying to do something here.”

At the lack of an answer and the stopped on the other’s movements, Chanyeol decided to work on his own, not expecting to make Baekhyun fall when pushing too hard and making him fall too on the process. With his arms still linked with Baekhyun’s, he took in the view of all the faces cheering them around them, wondering why the situation felt so out of place.

Once the teacher sent the class to the showers excusing herself for leaving earlier, he and Baekhyun remained in the same pitiful position.

Chanyeol felt defeated and embarrassed, too embarrassed to say anything, but his anger helped him to rise from the ground with a jump. “Hey kid,” he said with a pointing finger.

Baekhyun was already on his feet, all of his attention on him.

“I don’t know who you are, but I can see you don’t give a shit about anything,” he said after biting the inside of his cheeks. “But I do.”

He could see the frown forming on the other’s face, but he needed to continue, to let out his frustration.

“If you feel like being an average person, you do you, but I’m not losing again. I’ll work hard, I–I’ll work hard to be better.”

It was hard to breathe, too many emotions doing no good to his heart either.

But Baekhyun frown was no longer there because his eyebrows were lifted and his mouth slightly open.

Feeling like he had nothing else to add, Chanyeol didn’t wait for Baekhyun to speak when he was about to. He simply walked passed him, leaving everything behind, Baekhyun included.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!! So I got inspired one day while remembering some of my favorite rivalry ships and I knew I needed to write a real rivalry fic, with the slow burn, and all the good things we love about them. I'm excited to write this fic so I hope you like this first chapter and that you will have fun while reading it. I'd love to know what you think about it, so please feel free to ask anything you want to know. Thank you!


	2. A warm memory

As if he had been running for hours, Chanyeol felt his body floating on the thin air that had been haunting his days lately. With a long breath, he fought the need to close his eyes when the shiny sun placed itself in between him and the person standing next to him, but the light was too bright and he ended up turning to their backs.

He could then see how far they had walked from the starting point, the small city already forgotten by the kilometers he couldn’t count but guess they had wandered through, not knowing why his body had been thrown in an empty road with a stranger, though not disliking the silent company either.

The hand beside his was smaller, and the rest of the deserted place was blurred. In a peculiar calmness, there were only two ways to look at; what was behind and what was ahead. When Chanyeol made his decision, the road in front showed a hopeful view.

A finish line was waiting for their arrival, still far away from their positions, but closer than the city they had left behind. The dust, however, was thick and sticky, surrounding the two bodies and building a barrier that kept them apart from each other.

As Chanyeol stretched his hand, the yellow world transformed into a colorful one, and for less than a second, the identity of the mysterious person was revealed to his lonely soul before everything got black.

Blinking once, blinking twice, it didn’t make the darkness disappear at all, but it did change the location he was in before. It took him more than a minute and a few breathing exercises to calm himself down and to remember what he was supposed to do when waking up on a Tuesday morning.

Spacing out was interrupted when the thought of a certain someone possibly waking up at the same time as he ran through his mind.

Without wasting more time, Chanyeol jumped from the bed, regretting his decision when hitting his foot with something he didn’t know he had left over the floor the night before.

He knew he needed to be quiet if he wanted to be the first one in using the bathroom on the only day of the week they both had classes at the same hour.

Ignoring the loud noise he had made seconds earlier, he tip-toed his way to the bedroom’s door.

This was his chance after so many weeks of losing to the blond boy whose habit included waking up at last minute before taking forever in getting ready.

It shouldn’t have come as a surprise to find said boy tip-toeing in front of his door, unaware of him who was mirroring his actions until Baekhyun probably sensed another presence observing his every step, moving his head to the right but body frozen in time. They had been caught red-handed.

“Fuck–”

“I need to pee.”

A moment of silence had settled in between them, but Chanyeol had already set up his mind.

“Rock-paper-scissors, that’s all I’m asking.”

“But I need to pee!”

“I know, but just once.” Chanyeol didn’t like seeing Baekhyun’s angry face anymore, so he added with his sweetest voice, “please.”

He didn’t need an answer when he could see Baekhyun crossing his legs and lifting a fist, ready to finish what they had started quickly.

“Rock–”

“Paper–”

“Scissors… Wait, did you just laugh now? Come on, two more times,” Chanyeol said, grabbing his whist to stop him but losing his grip as Baekhyun ran to the other room.

“I told you I needed to pee!” was heard from the distance.

Chanyeol had to roll his eyes to suppress a smile he didn’t want anyone to see, even when he knew no one was there to see it.

“I won’t make you coffee if you aren’t beside me in 5 minutes,” he singsonged as he moved to the kitchen.

The aroma of coffee warmed up his cold bones, and the chilly wind penetrating the walls was a nice contrast to the hot liquid he was preparing.

Before starting a new day, Chanyeol allowed himself to rewind the everyday show he was able to witness since he had moved in with Baekhyun, recalling the extraordinary experiences of finding his roommate sleeping on the floor because the bed was just too far and he was too tired to care, or the night when he had found him watching a rom-com movie with teary eyes, so he had to order a pizza to stop him from thinking about the tragic romance that wasn’t meant to be at the end.

Less than a year had passed since they started living together, but the growing closeness of their relationship was undeniable.

A nice feeling invaded him then, and though he tried to push it away after recognizing it, he didn’t have the time to because his eyes had moved to a wet Baekhyun wrapped in a bathrobe that was definitely too big for him, choking on the drink while staring at the dripping hair that made the other shiver.

He didn’t fail to see how Baekhyun hugged himself as he tried to avoid his gaze, and he didn’t need to convince himself that having the urge to wrap the boy in the new blanket they had bought last week was only a way to prevent him from getting sick. He didn’t need to deal with certain realizations for now.

Laying down his coffee, Chanyeol took Baekhyun by his shoulders and led them to the same holy room they would always find a way to fight for in the early hours of the day.

Chanyeol had definitely noticed the lively sparks Baekhyun’s eyes would have every time their eyes met for longer than a second, but the effect it had on him would never get old.

“Come on, kitter, let’s dry your hair first.”

\---

“Where is the teacher now?”

“How I’m supposed to know when I’ve been with you all the time?”

“Hey Park, can you see if the old man is coming?”

Not minding doing the favor, Chanyeol threw the empty bag of cookies in the trash bin as he made his way to the door. The room was already filled with many voices and shadows, but he could feel there were some missing pieces to complete the puzzle.

Turning around after not seeing any trace of the person in target, he shook his head at his classmate’s direction when a hand tapped his shoulder weakly.

Chanyeol moved to see who was standing behind him.

Oh. Of course.

“Could you move? I need to come in.”

“I can, but do you know what manners are?”

Here was this kid again. Chanyeol couldn’t control how mad he got every time he looked at his face, knowing he was overreacting but finding it hard to stop himself from spilling sneaky comments back at him.

“Please?” Baekhyun asked with apathy.

Taken aback by this, Chanyeol moved to let him walk, lost at words for a reply for the first time.

“Thanks.” When Baekhyun passed by him, he turned to him and added, “I think those are manners.”

The universe didn’t give Chanyeol time before the person he was looking for appeared from behind.

“Who’s blocking the way?” a voice asked so close to Chanyeol’s ear that it gave him shivers. “Oh, so it was Mr. Park.”

He didn’t have more options but to move to the side, staring at Baekhyun who was already opening a notebook.

“So?” Junmyeon asked, raising an eyebrow.

“So what?”

“What’s with you and …”

“Byun Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo whispered while pointing with little discretion at the boy sitting close to the three of them, narrowing his eyes at Chanyeol when the latter motioned him to shut up.

Chanyeol peeked at his right before leaning to his two friends. “What’s the matter with him?”

“What’s the reason behind your hatred towards him? I mean, the boy hasn’t been here for more than a week and you’ve already fought with him a hundred times,” Junmyeon said in a hush.

What was his problem with Baekhyun? Chanyeol tried to ask himself that question, but the truth was that not even he knew the right answer, so what was he supposed to say? That the boy looked like an idiot most of the time? That he faked being stupid, when in reality, he had a brilliant mind?

Those would be lies. He had just known Baekhyun for a few days, but something about him triggered his anger, his irrational side coming to the surface.

“I just… don’t get him,” he thought at loud, confusing his friends by the way they were staring at him, but most importantly, confusing himself. Because, what was there to understand?

The first class went by quickly, and soon after they were sitting in the same seats, but listening to a different voice talking with pretty words and doing a lot of hand movements to emphasize her emotions.

Today’s lesson was about a book the class was reading, linking the content subject with the main points of the story until the focus moved to the students and the discussions about the topic.

It was exactly this kind of activity that the class disliked the most, avoiding any kind of participation as they could in the task, and today wasn’t different.

“Really, class? Nobody dares to share their ideas?”

Wanting to contribute, Chanyeol made the effort of looking for a proper answer in his mind, but nothing seemed appropriate enough to share with the others, so he waited a little longer in hope of being excused of participating.

That was when he saw him moving on his seat, looking around the room like a person who had lost a treasure and is trying to figure out who’s the culprit.

He could feel himself staring, but Baekhyun didn’t seem to notice, following the movement of his hand until it was higher than his head.

“I’m afraid to inform you I won’t talk about the content itself, but about how little I understand the character of Anne, yet I can’t help but be impressed by her personality.”

There was no need to check out the multiple smiles surrounding him when he was busy at being intrigued by the choice of words used and the meaning behind them. Had the know-it-all guy admitted not knowing everything?

“She’s so passionate about the world, and she feels so much that is hard for me to relate to her, but seeing her struggle with her life because of her deep emotions has made me analyze my own life,” he said with a tremulous voice, side-eyeing his nearer classmates when he had finished.

“Well, then,” the teacher began, “do you agree on Anne being unfairly mistreated by her peers?”

“I do think she was misunderstood. Even when I can’t decipher her, that would give me no reason to isolate her. It would only make me more curious to get to know her.”

A round of applause filled the room for a moment until the teacher ordered to be quiet again.

“Thank you, Mr. Byun. Is there anybody else who wants to add something? Anyone who disagrees with Mr. Byun’s opinion, perhaps?”

Chanyeol had raised his hand before he got to think of anything to say, his competitiveness awakening before his mind could. Now everybody’s eyes were on him, including the ones he wanted so much to avoid.

But if he wanted to prove his point, if he wanted to show him how analytical he could be too, then he would make sure to give him exactly that.

“I’m sorry,” Chanyeol said, knowing full well that he was indeed not sorry, “but I disagree with you.”

The momentary silence was ruined by the shushed laughs and the muffled voices behind hands. He felt an involuntary smirk growing on his face when Baekhyun glanced at him, body unbothered by him but unsettling eyes searching for his.

“I think that… Anne is already pretty clear about her dreams and desires, I don’t know what’s so hard for you to understand, but I do agree with you on her great passion about life and how this makes her a nice character.”

A pair of students shouted as a way of supporting his opinion, but he could only look back at Baekhyun and his serious face, knowing he had set a challenge between them that only they were aware of.

Suddenly, the shorter jutted his chin out, and Chanyeol swore to have seen a playful smile on those small lips, chewing on his own in return.

“You can disagree with my views on a character, but not with the way I relate or not with someone.”

Chanyeol’s neck and ears started to itch.

“Only I have the right to change that, or do you fully understand and relate to all the characters in the book? Would it be right if I told you I disagree with you because you can’t understand the heart and the mind of, may I say, for example, Gilbert?”

“Mind your business,” he snorted, feeling stupid the moment the words left his mouth.

“I was,” was the last thing Baekhyun said while looking at him before going back to the book and notebook over his table, entertaining his hands with some notes he could see him taking.

They were some boring notes, Chanyeol thought when an eraser hit his head.

“Kyungsoo, did you just throw me your–”

“Hey, mind your business.”

The sound of the bell interrupted the last lesson of the day to inform it was time to go home.

Abandoning the room one by one, the classroom started to recover its morning state when only three boys would keep the place company.

Snapping out of his daydream, Chanyeol saw he had been left behind by his friends, seeking their silhouettes but finding other people. One of them was Baekhyun.

Without thinking much, he called for his name, gaining his attention though not in the best way.

This wasn’t the same kid who never reacted to his words. Instead, he looked like a person who was trying hard not to show his real self.

He leaned on Baekhyun’s table while the other was picking up his bag. “Hey”

“Hey.” He was now on his feet, but he wouldn’t glance or glare at Chanyeol, whose face had ended up being too close to his.

Chanyeol could see him shifting his weight from one foot to the other, making him so uncomfortable that he had to bend his head for a moment before lifting it again.

“You’re… weird,” was all he could say. His voice had become smaller, a part of him knowing he had to stop before offending Baekhyun for real, but as always, his mouth would react faster than his brain.

When Baekhyun looked at him again, he understood why he should have trusted his guts.

With lips pressed into a thin line and a wrinkling nose, Baekhyun stared at Chanyeol for what felt like hours, while Chanyeol had never felt so exposed before.

“Why are you so rude to me?”

Chanyeol opened his mouth to reply whatever nonsense he could think of at the instant, but Baekhyun would not let him now that he had crossed an invisible line.

“Is it because I have the right answers? Because you don’t like losing to someone? What’s your problem with me?” he asked him raising his voice, out of breath when he finished.

Silently, Chanyeol got even closer to Baekhyun, noses almost bumping together. With a dry throat, he gulped. “I– You don’t–”

“Chanyeol!”

Great, so his friends hadn’t forgotten him after all.

One minute he was invading Baekhyun’s space as if he had always been one to intimidate others, and the next one he was fighting Kyungsoo’s hold on his collar to set himself free. He still got to hear Junmyeon apologize on his behalf, as he still got to catch the glance Baekhyun gave him while walking throughout the door.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Junmyeon nearly shouted. It was the first time seeing him that mad, and the knowledge that he had been responsible for that felt like a punch to his stomach.

“Junmyeon, listen–”

“Yeah, Chanyeol, why are you acting like a bully with Byun Baekhyun? We have been friends for a short time, but I can tell you are not a bad guy.”

His chest felt heavy when he realized his friends’ words were true. Perhaps, that was what being guilty felt like?

“Do you even know why he makes you so angry?”

He used his eyes to beg Junmyeon for help, but the latter remained quiet, giving him all the time to answer.

“I’m… I’m not sure guys.”

“Then don’t be an idiot while you figure it out.”

The three students stood there, staring at each other until Kyungsoo started laughing, which only made the other two laugh louder. It felt familiar, like friends who’ve been together for a long time feel when talking with each other.

In the future, maybe he would be able to go back to those early memories to recall the type of person that he was at that moment of his life and would see what kind of man he had become.

As for now, knowing he had some new friends who cared about him and a world full of possibilities and experiences made him feel at ease.

“I’m sorry,” Chanyeol mumbled, taking Junmyeon and Kyungsoo by the arms and wrapping them in a hug.

Kyungsoo didn’t take long before breaking the embrace. “We’re not the ones who need to hear that, but sure.”

When the sky had lost its light and a group of teachers scolded them for still being in front of the school gates, the three boys said goodbye and parted ways.

That night Chanyeol stared into the ceiling until his eyes felt like burning, and he had no more option than to close them for a few hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Exo comeback and Chanyeol's birthday!!!! Today's a great day, so I hope you're having fun with the new album-because I died- and I also hope you like this update. Thank you for leaving nice comments and kudos, that's actually what encourages me to continue writing (I'm not that confident so even a simple "I liked it" means a lot)  
I'm listening to Ya Ya Ya while typing this pokdfgkhpokpoytokphkoyth Thank you again!!


	3. You never know

“Baek,” Chanyeol groaned.

He had been sitting all day on a chair that was stick to his ass at this point, reading a never-ending text assigned as extra material for one of his courses. University life was hard, he had been told by many people before, but he had refused to believe it until witnessing it himself.

And it was true. Being a university student was a tough task.

With too many lectures to attend and way too many notes to take, the rest of the time was spent between books and by creating presentations for the class. There was almost no time for more trivial activities like hobbies.

Stretching his neck, Chanyeol gazed at the bright ceiling facing him. A subtle light was coming by the open window, dancing through the whole room and reaching every corner, painting everything and everybody with its evening stardust.

The coming of the weekend was close, and nothing announced its arrival better than the cozy atmosphere the apartment would get every Friday when the white noise of distant melody could be heard from another room, and a soft voice that was mumbling words was heard when paying close attention.

“Baek,” he called him louder this time, not wasting any second to walk to the other bedroom to get an answer.

Chanyeol was about to open the door when the voice on the other side of the room stopped him, though without the use of words. Instead, the warning had come in the form of a song, and Chanyeol knew better than to disturb the few moments he got to hear the pretty voice of his roommate.

Closing his eyes, Chanyeol stood behind the suddenly heavy door. Waiting a little longer before coming in. Listening to the sweet lyrics of an unrequited love song.

It was strange how hearing those words made him feel, even weirder how moved he was by imagining the reason why Baekhyun adored that song so much, but he didn’t let the unknown feeling stop him from enjoying the experience of listening to him singing. A minute of life to breathe and to let go was all he was asking for.

When Chanyeol realized he had been leaning on the door like a stalker, he rushed into the room without warning.

With a still Chanyeol in the middle of the bedroom, Baekhyun stopped singing the moment he saw him while the music was still playing in the background. He stared at him for a moment before jumping from the bed and going to the desk where his phone was laying.

“Chanyeol? Wha– what happened?”

Sitting at the edge of the bed, the smell of clean bedsheets filled his lungs as he observed the other.

“Hey glasses, do you understand this?”

Baekhyun was by his side in an instant, taking the book from his hands and adjusting his eyeglasses the way Chanyeol always teased him about. He removed the bookmark he had probably forgotten to have lent Chanyeol a few months ago and took a look inside.

He was reading the title when he stopped to glare at Chanyeol. “I’m not the one studying a science major.”

That made him giggled, somehow. “But you like reading, don’t you?”

Baekhyun pursed his lips, and he had that thoughtful expression Chanyeol was so used to see whenever the other didn’t have a quick answer, so he pulled Baekhyun by the arm to sit him by his side.

The boy was already pouting when he spoke again. “I never agreed to this, you know.”

Coming closer to him, Chanyeol rested his head on Baekhyun’s shoulder as softly as he could. “Just help me with this, Baek, and I’ll help you whenever you ask me to,” he whined, looking up at him and batting his eyelashes.

He wasn’t thinking of anything then but about how fun it was to joke around with his roommate, and maybe how content his heart felt whenever they shared an intimate moment like this one. He never tried to guess why.

Chanyeol would forget about the world outside when his mind was at peace with him.

He, who was still learning him. He, who was still learning to notice how tense the other would get with their proximity.

Chanyeol removed his head from Baekhyun’s shoulder when he got a glimpse of his face, which in contrast to his stiff body was anything but calmed. His raised brows went back to normal as soon as Chanyeol raised his head, though the serene expression only returned after coughing twice.

“I actually wanted to give my parents some chocolates when I see them this weekend.”

Finally turning to him, Chanyeol found out Baekhyun wasn’t the only one having a problem with being collected today or on any other occasion that involved being close enough to each other to feel the other’s breaths.

Chuckling, he didn’t stop his urge to lay his hand on his friend’s shoulder, squeezing it without taking his eyes off his. Chanyeol didn’t understand why every time Baekhyun looked at him as if he was lost made him want to reassure him even more.

“Don’t worry, I won’t let you burn the kitchen…alone.”

There it was that small smile again, already hiding behind that stupid book. Why did he even bring the damned book in the first place?

And how could he know Baekhyun was smiling only based on the shape of his eyes?

Baekhyun’s lips started moving, reading the long paragraph with a nice rhythm, but Chanyeol could barely identify any word because of spacing out when catching Baekhyun’s focused frown and narrowed eyes.

Baekhyun scrunching his nose. Baekhyun slowing down while reading the crazy shit he was supposed to be reading instead. Baekhyun, who had put Chanyeol in a good mood again.

But Chanyeol? Well, Chanyeol was busy bumping his leg against Baekhyun’s, gazing at his feet and thinking of how small they were in contrast to his.

He was telling himself how inappropriate and rude stepping on the other’s feet would be when he heard his name followed by a soft laugh.

“You must know… I didn’t understand shit.”

It only took one look at his face to make Chanyeol lose it, and a few more seconds to see his friend joining him.

“What? I really didn’t. Now let me tell you about this new book I’m reading while you burn down this place.”

“You know that’s not exactly a punishment for me, right?”

\---

Never had Chanyeol thought the coffee machine that had once been his father’s Christmas wish would become the object to contain all the right answers in the world. But here he was now, pouring down the liquid as he had been doing every morning for the last couple of months.

He had never been a fan of it before, but his new mindset required extreme changes in his habits. And a coffee mug was equal to productivity.

The sun was yet to light up the kitchen, so the use of electricity was justified for at least half an hour more. Rearranging the materials over the table, Chanyeol brought his hands together to clap twice, and that was all he needed to get into a new day with a motivated mind.

Way too immersed into the math exercises, he failed to notice he wasn’t the only early bird in the house, ignoring the presence of the other person leaning on the door frame of the room until a warm hand on his shoulder woke him up.

“Mom?” He definitely didn’t see her coming. “Was I being too nosy?”

The smiley woman ruffled his hair before disappearing behind the fridge door. “Good morning to you too, dear. And to answer your question, not really.” She moved to the sink with something in her hands. “I was just hungry.”

It didn’t take more than five minutes to have her sitting in the chair next to his, with a breakfast that even when made in a hurry could outshine Chanyeol’s choice of a drink.

“So tell me, son, what are you doing this early on a Saturday? And why is this a recurrent thing nowadays?”

Mrs. Park was resting her head on her hand, giving all her attention to him. There was something in her eyes that made Chanyeol think she was trying to read him, though he wasn’t sure about what she was looking for.

“What do you mean? I’m just studying more so I can get better grades,” he said as he scratched behind his ear.

She looked at him for a few seconds before going back to her food. “It’s just you were never this dedicated to school before, so I wondered if something had changed lately.”

Chanyeol knew what she was implying.

He had been aware of his decisions and the effect they were having on his life all along, but he had forgotten about what people around him thought of this change of behavior.

Most importantly, Chanyeol had forgotten how similar he and his mom used to be before he had decided he had something to accomplish, so it came as a surprise to hear her voicing her concerns when they had always been people who didn’t care much about words as they did with actions.

In a way, he had probably ignored this fact because the majority of the people who were part of his life now, well, weren’t before. So how could they know how much he had changed when they didn’t even know him last year?

He thought then of his childhood friends, who had to move to a new school, wondering what they could be doing on a Saturday morning, and if they still were the same two boys who preferred not to enter a classroom if it was up to them.

Chanyeol didn’t know he was smiling until a hand caressed his cheek.

“My dear, it’s been a while since the last time we’ve properly talked,” she said as her hand moved to his notebook, “and I wanted to know how you’ve been feeling with this new chapter in your life.”

Indeed, both of them had been busy since the beginning of the year and were worried about their own problems to sit down and have an honest talk. But now that his mom asked him, he opted to answer without overthinking.

If there was something Chanyeol wouldn’t mention, however, was the reason behind his change. He didn’t need to worry her when he was trying to figure out his life.

“I’m fine, mom.” When seeing her narrowing her eyes, he added, “I mean it! I’ve been working harder than ever to get better, and I even got some new friends.”

The sparkle in her eyes became evident after hearing these words, and the pitch of her voice became higher. “Really? What are their names? And what about Sehunnie and Jonginnie?”

They had started an arm-wrestling match at this point, laughing at both of their struggles. “The boys are fine too, I think…” Chanyeol trailed off for a second before speaking again. “And about my new friends, I think you three will get along, even if they’re probably different from what you would expect.”

“As long as they’re good people, I don’t mind about you befriending a ghost.”

Chanyeol had thought the little talk had come to an end and was about to go back to one of the books when he gazed at his mom again and saw nothing apart from her smug grin. He knew her too well to know that meant nothing good.

“And,” she whispered as she nudged him, “is there anyone special yet?”

The frustration he felt for that question alone was not something he felt proud of, but he couldn’t help it. And what was with parents enjoying seeing their teens suffering from embarrassment?

“I’m sorry.” She laughed like she was not, to what Chanyeol stick his tongue out at her. “But I was curious.”

When the mood had become too humorous to his like, Mrs. Park grabbed his hand again, moving the conversation back to the previous seriousness.

“I’m happy,” she began, making Chanyeol look at her for she was about to say something special based on her tone and soft expression. “I’m really happy to see you setting a new goal now that you’re growing up, Chanyeol.”

He didn’t know where this was going, but he felt the need to listen to whatever she had to say. He had the impression that something meaningful was about to be said, and his pulse was getting the idea too.

“And I want you to know I’ll always support you, whatever the path you choose to walk through in life. But please,” she said before squeezing his hand, “don’t ever forget about your inner light and what makes you truly happy.”

It was as if he was a kid all over again, listening to his mom’s advice to keep him away from the dangers of a big world. As if she was embracing him with only her words to warm him up.

“What’s more important… when setting your mind on a new goal,” she whispered like sharing a secret, and Chanyeol’s body moved closer to her on his own, _“make sure to enjoy the road that gets you there.”_

Chanyeol was left there in silence after not showing any visible reaction to the talk, what her mom probably took as a sign to not annoy him any further, leaving him with an ‘If your dad or sister asks, I’ll be on the yard’ before disappearing.

Ten minutes later and one failed attempt to continuing his study session and Chanyeol had gathered all of his stuff to go upstairs, promising himself he would continue when in a better mood.

Stumbling on his way to his room, he finally made it without dropping anything, only to throw his notebook and books over the tidy desk. He let his body fall over the chair, and the next thing he was doing was spinning around out of control, with the view of a new world without clear shape or tangibility.

When an uneasy feeling settled on his stomach and the dizziness drowned his senses, Chanyeol held onto the desk and the chair came to a halt.

As his senses started to return, it was his sight the one to catch the hidden object peeking through under the bed, calling for him to inspect the foreign area.

He could remember what he was about to grab well enough. After all, not much time had passed since the last time he had seen that box.

Sliding off the chair, Chanyeol grabbed the box as he sat on the floor, letting it rest carefully over his lap, blowing off the small amount of dust lying over the lid to read the self-written message on top.

_“My Old stuff.”_

Chanyeol didn’t rush to remove the lid.

He stared, and he let his hand wandered through the surface, letting his memories come back without having to wait for his eyes to fall upon what was inside to remember. But he didn’t let the anxiety ruin the moment.

Taking a deep breath, Chanyeol opened the box.

He then remembered why he had saved those manga volumes somewhere he wouldn’t have to look at daily in the first place. He thought of how stupid he should look now, holding onto a couple of children’s books he used to read with his childhood friends in their free time when for them meant all the time.

And yet he knew they weren’t the only hard thing to leave behind when he put them back on the box with a heavy heart.

Chanyeol had been sitting on the floor for around ten minutes when he reached for the box once again, only this time he placed it beside the bed before picking up his notebook and a pen.

The next Monday was the first day Chanyeol woke up later than normal ever since the start of the school year. And of course, it didn’t go unnoticed to his friends.  
He had run from the school gate to the classroom, and how helpful it was to have classes on the third floor.

Sweating and panting, he opened the door in a hurry only to be greeted by half of his classmates, with some other late students passing by him while he stood at the entrance. He had got used to arriving earlier than most of them, so that morning event was something unusual to him.

The look on Kyungsoo and Junmyeon’s faces told him the feeling was mutual as he made it to his seat, choosing to give them a thumb up as a reply because this time he didn’t know why he had shown up later either.

The first thing Chanyeol noticed after sitting down was the strong light coming from the windows, following the sunlight direction until the view of a cleaned blackboard appeared in front of him.

“I couldn’t wait. Sorry,” Kyungsoo said, making Chanyeol turn to him to see his apologetic face.

“No problem,” Chanyeol simply muttered. He could tell the boy felt guilty with just one look at him, and he didn’t want to reproach him for his quirks. Chanyeol knew Kyungsoo had peculiar tastes, but that was just who he was. So what? Everybody had their own quirks.

As Chanyeol was telling Junmyeon about the exercise he couldn’t solve during the weekend, the latter interrupted him, motioning him to look at the door.

Along with the classmates that were always late for the class was Baekhyun, whose cheeks started turning a tint of red the moment he caught Chanyeol staring at him, and whose eyebrows knitted together, creating the image of a pissed out person.

He felt his lips breaking into a smile, but the thought of the talk with his friends came to his mind right then, and for a weird reason he chose to push aside the urge to mock Baekhyun, confusing himself with his actions. What was happening to him?

And just like that, the rest of the week passed by swiftly.

With the teaching of new content for each subject, the lessons required the full attention of the students, leaving little to no time during the classes to socialize or to daydream like any normal teenager does when getting bored by a lecture.

By the time Friday had come, the motivation to do anything had left his body. He was so tired that his only prayer was for the last class to start quickly. But life wasn’t always fair, and not all dreams could come true.

That was what he was thinking about during the penultimate class of the day, while the notes on his notebook mocked him for having a real life with responsibilities, unlike them.

When the bell finally rang, the accumulated tension in all of his classmates became evident as the noisy conversations came back along with the smell of lots of unknown food. That reminded Chanyeol of his own snack, the one he had been waiting to devour since lunch, and the one he was now looking for on his bag.

He caught a glimpse of an anxious Baekhyun in the meanwhile, who seemed to be explaining an important issue to Jongdae and Minseok. Having found what he was looking for, he delayed the action of bringing it out for the mere purpose of overhearing the boys’ talk, but then again, life wasn’t fair with him, and he confirmed it when Junmyeon’s voice prevailed over the other three.

“Don’t leave yet! We need to discuss next week’s activity.”

Grumbling, the class began trudging to the class president. Chanyeol, on the other hand, was returning the snack to the bag with a sigh when he heard Minseok whispering at Baekhyun, too loud at that.

“Don’t worry, they won’t notice.”

Should he inform Junmyeon? That was honestly his first thought, but could he really be that petty with the kid?

And the answer was no because that kid had walked away and Chanyeol hadn’t done anything to prevent him from doing so.

He couldn’t care less, he told himself as he sat next to Kyungsoo.

If he had to guess what his classmates were thinking while Junmyeon was explaining the future activity in depth, he would probably assume their thoughts weren’t much different from his own. Some good five minutes of Chanyeol staring at the dehydrated classroom plant passed until he flinched at the two fingers snapping somewhere near to his ears.

“Thank you, Taeyong. So Chanyeol, would you ask Mrs. Boyoung if she agrees? We’ll be ready to proceed without problems after hearing her answer.”

“Hmm, where is she?”

Anything for having some fresh air after spending the whole day between the same four walls. Even with an occupied mind, it was hard not to think about what his mother had told him and how he had been feeling the last days, even harder to pretend he wasn’t interested in knowing where the absent boy would be.

As he was thinking about this, Chanyeol spotted a big circle of people around the volleyball court, still some meters away from him, and as he came closer, the sight of a familiar face in the middle of the crowd stopped him on his tracks.

_‘Baekhyun?’_

What was he doing there?

The initial shock was soon replaced with an urgent restlessness caused by the view of an embracing arm around his classmate’s neck, though the nature behind the action was surely far from the principles of friendship.

That arm belonged to a boy one year older than him, to someone Chanyeol was sure of having heard of before being described with harsh words. What could the guy possibly want to do with Baekhyun? He didn’t know. And how did the latter end up being in such a situation?

A series of questions were messing with his head while his eyes laid upon his classmate’s face, which if he hadn’t been watching him since the first time he met him, Chanyeol wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between his usual serious expression and the confused one he was wearing right now.

Relying on his instincts, Chanyeol began walking closer to their direction. Once the distance had been reduced, he heard the boy’s voice again, now easier to decipher.

“Come on, I’ll let you go if you promise to buy what I asked you to.”

Some of the people there laughed whereas others shared concerned looks with each other, yet nobody was doing anything to stop the messed up situation they were experiencing, as for them it was just a funny game which they could get some laughs from.

For Chanyeol it meant more than that, for as he looked at Baekhyun’s face, he saw nothing but a disoriented person who couldn’t read between the lines of a nasty joke. Didn’t he realize that?

“I told you already, I have something else I need to do.”

Chanyeol’s feet were itching, asking for a sign of movement again, anything to get them moving.

He had to do something. He _needed_ to do something. But what could he do?

The room he had been leading to moments before was still far from his current position, so while the option of going for the teacher and returning with her help was still up, it was also not the best one considering the urgency of the case.

At best he could reach the group of students again when something worse had happened. It was clear that the only available option was to do something himself.

But then again, was he okay with it?

Chanyeol was measuring both options when a last glance at Baekhyun sent shivers down his spine. 

Why was he doing this?

Pattering over to the circle of unknown faces, he listened to the voice on his head telling him to stop. But his feet wouldn’t listen, and they wouldn’t care about following his orders.

_“Baekhyun!”_

Had he shouted his name just now? That would explain why all of the faces present in the place turned around to study him, including the one addressed, who after blinking the moment he recognized Chanyeol seemed unable to stop doing so for a few more times.

What followed was like one of those moments you read on books, where the main character finds themselves doing a heroic act, only to, once the ecstasy has died down, realize they have no idea of what to do next.

Chanyeol cleared his throat to stop the panting, thinking out loud the first thing that came to his mind on the inopportune scene. “We’ve been looking for you, let’s go.”

But the older wasn’t having any of it, bringing Baekhyun closer to him. “How convenient, don’t you think?”

Chanyeol wasn’t even scared anymore. He was so irritated by the guy’s shit that when he tightened his grip on Baekhyun’s neck and smirked back at him, all of his composure was gone.

Oh, fuck it.

“You sure are more fucked up than you look,” he hissed, smiling when seeing the smirk disappearing from the other’s lips. “Also, I think you should mind your own business instead of taking advantage of him, don’t you think so too?”

With the taste of victory his words had left on his mouth he gazed at Baekhyun, and even if only for a moment, Chanyeol wondered if this was the same kid who had been riling him up.

As if enlightened by a truth he had been oblivious to, Baekhyun grabbed the firm arm around him to set himself free from the other’s grip.

But when Chanyeol saw him walking to stand by his side, a pleasing sensation surprised his stomach.

The older student gave one step forward, lifting a fist when a new voice was heard from behind.

“Chanyeol, Baekhyun.”

He didn’t have to turn around to see who it belonged to.

“Soon hyung, I presume.” Junmyeon passed by him and Baekhyun as if they weren’t even there to face the boy in the middle, stretching a hand for the other to grab. “I’m glad to find you here! Please tell your class president we’re meeting with the director next Monday to talk about the school coexistence.”

Said boy just nodded at Junmyeon, who had a smile that Chanyeol could see even from behind, before shaking hands without holding his gaze.

“Let’s go, guys,” was the last phrase uttered, and without anything else needing to be added, the three of them turned around, leaving the whispering audience and an embarrassed brat behind.

The next thing he knew was that three boys were surrounding them, suffocating them with unasked hugs. He didn’t complain though, and nor did Baekhyun. The last event had stolen both of their pride and their words already.

Silence had settled between the groups on their way back to the classroom, except for two questions breaking the quietness.

“Are you okay?” Minseok had asked.

But Kyungsoo’s question interrupted him before Chanyeol got to hear the answer. “What happened?”

His eyes hadn’t stopped searching for a sign in Baekhyun’s body that could give away his current state. “Later.”

Before walking through the door, the president turned sideways. “Stay after the class is over.”

Being the last ones left outside, Chanyeol and Baekhyun exchanged a knowing look when nobody but them was around to see. Perhaps, he thought, his opinion on words being the best medium of communication would start to change too.

“Miss?”

“Mr. Kim?”

“You don’t need to stay until everybody leaves. I’ll close the door today.”

Was a teacher’s life that hard that any act of kindness could make their whole day no matter how small?

Hiding her smile behind her hands and sparing a look sideways, the teacher mouthed her gratitude at Junmyeon before informing the rest of the class they were free to go home.

The classroom was almost empty again if not for the presence of the six teens.

After Chanyeol pulled on the curtain tiebacks, he walked backward, bumping into Baekhyun and the chairs he was carrying and making a running Jongdae and Minseok falling with them.

Once Junmyeon had lectured them of the dangers of running around the classroom and Kyungsoo had sat after cleaning up the board, the conversation they had been waiting for started.

“So, what happened?”

The question was directed at Baekhyun, but he was the only person who didn’t react to it. It was as if nothing had happened.

“A student I didn’t know asked me to buy him something. I said I wouldn’t.”

Chanyeol had to study his face to see what was he trying to hide from them, yet he saw nothing.

“Byun Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo called him, making everybody in the room turn to him, except the person addressed. “If you want other people to help you, then you need to give us details.”

When Baekhyun lifted his head for anyone to see, nobody dared to speak for a while. Not even Chanyeol dared to make a comment. For all he knew, any wrong step could end up in tears.

The face of the boy whose hair always found a way to fit perfectly in place, and whose usual composure never seemed to cease went back to looking at the floor, with fists over his lap, and a frown too strong to erase by wishing to.

The very idea of watching the small boy crying in front of them almost made Chanyeol reach his forehead to give it a try, nevertheless.

“He’s right, Baekhyun.” The eyes moved to Jongdae in the split of a second. Leaning to massage his shoulder at a slow pace, he continued with a grin. “You have to learn to communicate for people to understand you. We know you have the power of words, so use it.”

“I…” Baekhyun started saying with his gaze on his hand, entertained with the sleeves of his shirt. “I think that student got mad at me b–because I didn’t agree to his petition,” he stuttered.

Chanyeol wondered why his heartbeats started increasing, and why his head would get so hot.

“I never meant to be rude, but I was being honest when I told him I needed to do something. It’s just that, sometimes…” He inhaled sharply. “Sometimes, I think I talk in a language nobody else speaks.”

Suddenly, Chanyeol felt guilty.

This time, Baekhyun looked up at Junmyeon with wide eyes, opening and closing his mouth a few times.

“I’m sorry for not staying, but,” he trailed off to come near the president, placing his hand next to his mouth, as if about to tell the biggest secret. “I really,_ really_ needed to pee,” he whispered before nodding.

A moment of silence followed, and then the room was filled with all kinds of noises, going from clapping hands hitting anything on their way to guttural laughs which came close to the sounds one finds on horror movies.

Everyone had lost it at this. Everyone but Chanyeol, whose eyes were fixed on the boy blinking at the people around him, raising his hands to say something when nobody was listening.

And then Baekhyun looked back at him, and all of his senses shut down at the same time.

He couldn’t help but chuckle, so when his eyes searched for something on the ground that could take away the embarrassment of being caught staring, Chanyeol didn’t notice the shy grin the person sat in front of him had while only looking at him.

“There’s no need for apologies, but please,” Junmyeon said, rubbing his temple in an attempt to become serious again. “If anyone tries to force you to do anything you don’t want to, leave immediately and come to us.”

“Do you think we’ll leave him alone again? What do you take us for?” Jongdae stood up while motioning to him and Minseok.

The mood became lighter after that, and the lack of natural light became too evident to stay in the room any longer.

Returning the chairs to their original place, each of the boys went back to their seats to pick up their stuff before leaving the room for another weekend. As Chanyeol was putting on his vest, a hand tugged at his sleeve, making him turn to face him.

“Baekhyun?”

Here was the kid being the stoic person Chanyeol had grown used to see, but there was something about his eyes that was new.

“Thank you.” Chanyeol had to touch his ears to make sure what he had heard was right. “For helping me earlier.”

He was lost at words. Was the cold kid thanking him? What for? It was just right to intervene when seeing an act of injustice. And why was he looking at him that way?

“Hmm, you’re welcome–”

“That doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten about your bad attitude.”

Wait.

“What?” Chanyeol didn’t even have the time to analyze why Baekhyun was acting different and for a turn in the events to happen.

“But I’m willing to leave it behind,” Baekhyun said as he stretched his hand between Chanyeol and him. “If you want to.”

Did he want them to shake hands? In a way, the excitement Chanyeol got from teasing the other came back, just that this time there was no bad blood between them, at least from him.

Glancing at his hand, Chanyeol let a smirk grow on his cheek. “Who knows, perhaps in the future?”

He was glad the room was dark by then; otherwise, he would have started laughing at Baekhyun’s horrified face when he crossed his arms. “But for now, I don’t think so.”

Chanyeol truthfully wasn’t expecting to run after Baekhyun when the shorter decided that leaving him alone in the darkness was a better idea than listening to him any longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!! So this chapter ended up being longer than I had expected at the beginning, but I hope you like it. I really feel like my brain stopped working fkgtypkpojuykjkpouyjkpoyjk  
Also, Christmas is near :D and I want to wish you a good day no matter what's your situation. I hope you have a good time and please wait for the next chapter.
> 
> Thank you for your comments and kudos <3 They've made me the happiest and I appreciate them a lot


	4. Sunny days, Summer nights

The cafeteria couldn’t be fuller on a Wednesday afternoon when the whole school expected nothing less than the favorite menu of the week. Lined up and ready to start a war for a better place, the students accommodated their lunch as well as they could in a crowded room with too much noise to notice the lack of available tables around them.

With the empty classrooms being cleaned up for the upcoming lessons, the tired faces rested in the same commonplace, enjoying the free time to reconnect with some old acquaintances from different classes or to steal glances at some secret crushes when no one paid any attention to their awkward interactions.

For Chanyeol, not even the tastiest food could serve as a distracter that day.

Junmyeon’s lame jokes and Kyungsoo’s strange sense of humor did always put him in a good mood, but without him sharing the current state of his mind it would be unfair to blame his friends for not picking up the reason behind his clenched jaw.

He was oblivious to his surroundings during the majority of the lunch break, nodding whenever his friends directed some words at him or when the other people sitting beside them tried to engage him in some small talk. He didn’t want to be an asshole either, even though he felt like one. An unlucky asshole.

Having finished their meals, the groups of people started leaving their seats to go to the ones they had been using for longer. That’s how Chanyeol found himself looking at the new substitute teacher whose crooked smile gave him even more anxiety than what he had been feeling since morning.

He still smiled back at him when the searching eyes went by looking for a source of peace and ended laying on him though, then returning to his notes as the voice of the person in front grow louder and louder. Chanyeol didn’t know how he felt about how easy it was for some people to find confidence in the smallest of gestures.

Ever since hearing the bad news, the images of dozens of people moving around flooded his mind like a vision, too eager to do something more important than him, while he stood there. Writing down a brainstorm many hours after it, the task still didn’t look any easier.

What could have gone wrong?

When doodling stopped being an option to prevent a mental breakdown thanks to his sweaty hands, he realized the teacher was no longer speaking about the history of the country but had rather chosen the commodity of the chair over moving around the room.

He wished the classes could finish so he could go home to the privacy of his bedroom, where the fear of overreacting over the smallest thing concerned no other than he and his pillow.

He didn’t notice the worksheet left over his clenched hands, nor did he hear the new person walking around the classroom handing them until a cough was heard. He did catch, however, how said person had not left the place beside his seat yet.

Lost at words, Chanyeol limited to stare at the other so he wouldn’t be the one in charge of the witty comments for once.

Looking at Baekhyun, he got the impression that the boy was facing the same kind of problem that he, bringing the rest of the worksheets to his chest as if they could protect him from any danger.

“You will need it for the next class, so don’t think about filling it already.”

Chanyeol tried his best to smirk at the stern face but it was of no case; the fake smile made his lips to twitch. Hopefully, Baekhyun wouldn’t notice.

“Yeah, knew it,” he grumbled.

In fact, he didn’t know, but who cared about technicalities anyway.

Still, Baekhyun hadn’t moved from his side, which made him wondered if the boy needed to share some other crucial information for the sake of following the instructions or if the urgency of standing by him involved a completely different matter.

Just as he was about to ask what else could he need, Baekhyun stood closer, towering over Chanyeol while tightening the papers on his hands.

“Did something happen? Why are you so down today?” he blurted out without a change in his expression.

Saying Chanyeol was a little surprised by this would be an understatement, for the comment had taken him aback for different reasons, one of them being the straightforwardness of the kid.

Could Baekhyun be trying to level up Chanyeol’s game about his classic sassy comebacks? He chuckled as he analyzed that option before the idea of Baekhyun making fun of him hit him and the smile was erased from his face.

“Why do you want to know?” Chanyeol could feel the muscles of his face tightening and he knew Baekhyun could see it when confusion came to adorn his eyebrows.

“Why? I just wanted to check–”

“Baekhyun?”

Without them realizing, the teacher had moved to the board again, and if his crossed arms could be of any indicator, it would be fair to say he wasn’t happy about what he was witnessing.

Choosing to forget about the sharp facial features in the front for a second, Chanyeol’s eyes turned to the softer ones over him, whose owner didn’t stop staring at him until the sudden silence in the room seemed to bring him back to his senses.

“I’m sorry, Sir. I’ll tell my classmate something and then I’ll continue–”

“What do you mean by saying you’ll continue talking? Was that part of the instructions I gave you?”

The silence in the room was such that Chanyeol could hear the way Baekhyun was breathing over him.

“No, but–”

“Then why are you contradicting me?”

“I’m sorry, Sir. I just wanted to–”

“Leave.”

The familiar whispering that came after was something to be expected, yet the unfair treatment the new teacher was giving Baekhyun definitely wasn’t.

Baekhyun’s eyes were wide open, mouth slightly agape while he was frozen in place. Chanyeol watched him, half anticipating the formal speech the boy could exchange with the teacher and half wishing for him to win the argument.

But it never came. Instead, Baekhyun remained silent as the man scolded him with too much of a joy to know he had taken the deal on a personal level. Chanyeol only hoped he could take back the smile he had given him before as he stood up.

With all the attention on him, an old memory of the same situation replayed in his mind, and though not many years had happened since then, the little similarities between both moments confused him. Blinking, he tried to push it aside to focus on the present.

“Sir,” he mumbled, unsure of what he was about to say next. “I asked him… to stay?”

It came more as a question than as a statement, but it was enough to rile the man up and to call the attention of Baekhyun, who now stared at him from below because of their height difference, and Chanyeol swore to see an interrogative sign draw all over his face.

“Then, Mr. …” the teacher inquired.

“Park,” he answered instantly, knowing what was coming.

“Mr. Park, you two can leave the classroom together. Don’t you worry about coming back, take this as a chance to think about your actions.”

Without turning, Chanyeol left the room behind, unaware of the boy who was following him with long steps.

He only came to a stop when reaching the bathrooms, the consequences of what he had done finally hitting him.

Chanyeol then saw someone sitting on the stairs in front, turning his back to him. With the sunlight coming through the few spots in between the clouds, the usual black hair on the small head was replaced by a brownish color, and the white skin was bathed in gold. He watched him from afar, admiring the way the wind played with his clothes.

After a moment of indecision and doubts, he trudged to the worn-out steps.

Sitting in a quiet spot beside his equally quiet classmate on a sunny day while all of the other kids were struggling in a hot room felt, well, surprisingly nice. Had it been for a different circumstance, he would probably be happy to lie on the same dusty stair from morning until night. Even then, being asked to leave the classroom again wasn’t as bad as he would have thought some months ago.

Breathing in the warm air and watching the pigeons playing in the birdbath in the middle of the schoolyard calmed him down. He would have forgotten he wasn’t alone had it not been for the loud sneeze he heard next.

“Bless you”

“Ah, thank you.”

What should they talk about? They weren’t in bad terms anymore, so should he say something nice?

“The sun is making me feel hot.”

Baekhyun had been faster than him, but could he consider that as a reply?

“Well, yeah, I guess that makes sense.”

An older girl passed by them, and then a long pause came. After a minute or so of only the sound of the birds disrupting the peace, Chanyeol glanced at Baekhyun, and once Baekhyun noticed the eyes on him he didn’t wait to look back, watching him with curiosity.

His lack of shyness brought some heat to Chanyeol’s ears, but as Baekhyun had mentioned, it was a really hot day.

“Chanyeol, should we stay here, or should we look for a secret place inside the school?”

Chanyeol didn’t know what to answer. Why did he want to walk around the school? Why wasn’t he more affected by the teacher’s decision? The kid didn’t fail to surprise him every time they ended up being together.

“But were you not Mr. Byun Perfect student Baekhyun? Aren’t you mad? Sad, maybe?”

Now it was Baekhyun’s turn to be confused, scratching the skin of his nape without taking his eyes off him. Dealing with a human like Baekhyun was… different, Chanyeol thought.

“This is my first time breaking the rules so I’m not completely sure of how I should be feeling, but now that the decision is taken, I thought we could spend the time doing something… fun?”

“Is that so” Chanyeol mumbled unconsciously.

Wait. Had he heard him correctly?

“Have you never broken the rules before? For real?” Chanyeol’s tone rose with every word he said.

He had moved a little too close to Baekhyun in a second, but seeing no negative reaction, or any kind of reaction at that, he didn’t mind it much.

Baekhyun shook his head. “Is that weird?”

His boldness and sincerity were so funny for Chanyeol, and trying not to laugh was giving him a hard time when Baekhyun looked like an uptight adult who enjoyed lecturing teens about the benefits of reading the dictionary as a hobby during the weekends.

He strived to mirror his expression, but soon after a smile grew on his face.

“You’re really one of a kind, Byun Baekhyun.”

Because he was busy laughing, Chanyeol only caught a brief moment of Baekhyun dropping his gaze from his face to look at everything but him. 

“This is your ideal place of a mysterious chamber?”

“If we have at least a bit of imagination it can be just perfect, Chanyeol.”

He wasn’t so sure, but it wouldn’t hurt him to pretend it was.

“Have you been here before?”

Apparently, that question for Baekhyun was worse than any kind of insult anyone could ever have given him because he gave Chanyeol a look that made him stop at the entrance of the library.

“Of course I’ve been, what do you think I’ve been doing during most of the recesses?”

Once inside, the two boys wandered around the spacious building, not worrying about bumping into people because they seemed to be the only souls hunting the area at that hour, and they weren’t wrong. There wasn’t any group of students completing a task with the help of a book nor was there any kid playing on a computer on the lab.

Running his hands over the old covers resting on the bookshelves, Chanyeol made an effort to make a connection between the pretentious titles and the names of the few books he had read in his life, but none of them came to mind. Giving up on the task, he joined Baekhyun on his way to God knew where.

With the nose inside a book, Baekhyun got lost in between the pages, ignoring the fact that someone was waiting for him to notice his presence again. He didn’t seem to like having the novel removed from his hands by Chanyeol’s impatient ones, but the latter wasn’t fond of delays; even if he wouldn’t admit it, he was dying to know why Baekhyun had taken them to that plain place.

Truth to be told, Chanyeol wasn’t the biggest fan of literature, even though some works had left a strong impression on him. It simply wasn’t his cup of tea, so he scarcely chose to go to the local libraries and bookstores, let alone spend his recess in the school library. But Baekhyun? The difference was pretty clear.

“Baekhyun,” he whispered, used to keep it quiet on the rare occasions he went there. “Why did you bring us here?”

Baekhyun squatted down in front of the bookshelf, looking at Chanyeol from below with pleading eyes, asking him to get on the same level as him. Chanyeol decided it would be of no use to question him for there was too much determination behind those eyes to contradict him.

“Please, pick one,” Baekhyun ordered as he ran his finger through the many volumes before picking one and standing straight.

“But what am I supposed to choose?” He asked with sincere concern because, honestly, how could he know whether the story would catch his attention or not?

“Then you might do it at random.”

Chanyeol ended up following his advice. With both boys bringing something to entertain themselves while on their uncommon kind of punishment, Baekhyun finally motioned Chanyeol to follow him through a tiny corridor that led to a door at the end of it.

The door was smaller in contrast to the others, and even from a distance, one could say it was older too. If libraries had a peculiar yet pleasing smell of a hundred years stories coming to life, this particular door had the texture of an awaiting adventure, eager to meet them at the other side.

Because no natural light from the outside reached the isolated corner, Chanyeol only saw the shiny key Baekhyun was carrying when the boy cleaned it with his sleeve.

“How do you…”

Baekhyun had turned around, glancing at the corridor and then nodding at Chanyeol before unlocking the door. Chanyeol watched him with a rapid heartbeat.

Despised being taller than Baekhyun, he still couldn’t see what was waiting for them behind the door, view blocked by the petite’s body in front. Once the body moved, making space for him to come through the tiny door, Chanyeol found out what he thought he could see in the secretive chamber was not there, and that was because he couldn’t see anything at all, blinded by thick darkness when the door closed at his back.

When his blood got cold and his hands moved to grab whatever they could meet on their way, the sound of a pressing button was heard, and soon after he was blinded again, but this time it was by the bright light that hurt the eyes only after being in the dark for some time.

Just as the humble portal, the room gave a comfy and mysterious atmosphere. As Chanyeol bent to roam around, he realized the room wasn’t particularly small but its low ceiling made it feel that way. He had to pass by too many piles of boxes and shabby books arranged over the floor to count until he bumped into a wall again.

“So,” Baekhyun muttered as he arranged a couple of boxes and sat over them. “What do you think?”

Chanyeol took a long look at Baekhyun before joining him with the book he had chosen previously.

“I– how do you even know this place? I’ve never heard someone talking about this place, and you already have access to the chamber of secrets?”

“I didn’t do much to gain the privilege other than greeting Mrs. Lizzy every time I came to pick a new book.”

“Mrs. Lizzy?”

“The librarian. She’s not from here.”

Chanyeol knew that, but due to the rare times he visited the library, he hadn’t had many chances of getting to know more about the old woman who talked about her day with everyone who looked at her direction once.

“But how did you convince her to…” Chanyeol trailed off for a second when glaring at Baekhyun’s tilted head. “Does she know… you–”

“As I said before, I didn’t do anything.” Baekhyun looked down at the book in his lap with a smile.

Chanyeol watched with a frown how the smile on the face disappeared after the accumulated dust inside made him sneeze again.

“I’m certain Mrs. Lizzy doesn’t have any problem with my presence here as she was the one who gave me a copy of the key.”

Chanyeol remained silent in the hope of hearing the rest of the story, though when Baekhyun didn’t pronounce any other word, he had to inquire him about the reasons for the librarian’s trust.

“Every time I didn’t know what to do in between classes, overwhelmed by the constant noise around me, I came here. In the beginning, I did it because when I’m here, I feel comfortable to be myself, and without noticing it, I developed a liking to stories.”

Baekhyun sighed, looking past his book, contemplating an invisible sight with fondness. “She would ask me about my day with a big smile before handing me a new book each day selected with my preferences on mind. Perhaps, she thought I’d like to have my own room.”

Chanyeol wondered if Baekhyun was aware of how loneliness worked and how lonely people could see themselves on others like them. He, at least, was just starting to figure it out now.

“Maybe she understood you better than you thought.”

As he saw Baekhyun nodding, Chanyeol remembered the question he had wanted to ask for some time now.

“But if you had all the freedom to come in and out of here as you wished, then why didn’t you want anyone to see us?”

Opening the book, Baekhyun ran his hand through the first page to straighten it before looking at Chanyeol. “Isn’t it more fun this way?”

A long pause followed after that, with the two falling on a comfortable silence that in any other occasion would have been painful, making Chanyeol self-conscious about the need to fill in the quiet moments of any normal social interaction. But right now, he valued not having to make small talk like earlier today. There was no need to force a conversation for the sake of normality. They were fine just now.

“Chanyeol?”

“Hmm?” He had been staring at a certain spot in the front wall for a while, but having the feeling of someone glancing at him, he turned to his side to realize his senses hadn’t been wrong.

“How…” Baekhyun paused for a moment, looking like he was struggling to find the right words to continue. “How did you feel when you received a bad grade this morning?”

Now that Baekhyun mentioned it, Chanyeol had almost forgotten about the issue that ruined his whole day. And how had Baekhyun found out?

“Well, I…” Chanyeol was thinking of an excuse, something that didn’t involve sharing his thoughts with an open heart so there could be no risk of being vulnerable and exposed, but the more he looked at Baekhyun and saw the spark he had heard only curiosity and a certain strong feeling could ignite, the worse he felt for the mere idea of lying.

“To be honest with you, I wasn’t expecting it. Lately, I’ve been… how shall I put it… working my ass off at school, but I guess it doesn’t always pay off.”

Chanyeol was interrupted before he could immerse himself into a world of self-doubt and misery.

“Have you always been this good?”

Suddenly, the air felt thicker than before. “What do you mean?”

“You’re skillful, that I know. Has it always been that way?”

Swallowing hard, Chanyeol shook his head at the same time he tried to hide his surprise and his embarrassment. He hadn’t been complimented in a long time, or when he was, he never truly took it to heart, too harsh on himself to accept the praises. But coming from someone as intelligent as Baekhyun, the feeling was different.

“That’s admirable. It shows you’re responsible even at a young age. A bad day won’t bring down your efforts, so there’s no need in worrying, but I think your feelings are valid too.”

Maybe Baekhyun was right. Maybe, his mother had been too. And then, as if the always-present pressure of a fast-moving world reminded them about their long stay inside the chamber that could end in any minute, Chanyeol decided he needed to know more about Baekhyun. He needed to understand him better.

“Then what about you?” he asked nonchalantly, turning a blind eye to his own increasing pulse.

“Me?”

“Yeah. You do well at every subject, but you’re always so… chill about it. Have you always been good at school? Do you even… care?”

“I grew used to bring good grades to home. Now I understand there’s more than just studying.”

In the absence of words, Chanyeol and Baekhyun stared at each other as the dim light shaped their faces. Today, he had learned more things about Baekhyun than in the many months they had been sharing classes.

Up until now, he had rejected the possibility of discovering a new side of the boy who looked like the perfect image of a brat even when he already knew it wasn’t true. But today; today had arrived to make sure he couldn’t deny it anymore.

And with a major realization, some regrets came too.

“Baekhyun.” He felt confused because, where should he start from?

“Baekhyun, I– I wanted to… I wanted to apologi–”

“There’s one thing I can’t take off my mind, though.” He looked at Chanyeol like reading him to then avoid his gaze at all costs like he had been doing recently.  
“I cannot fathom why you are the only one who looks at my way and pays attention to me when no one else does.”

When the sound of the bell came and destroyed any amount of confidence he could have gathered to ask what he meant by that, the door was pushed to the other side.

“Let’s go!”

“But you said you always come here when–”

“Our friends might be wondering where we are. And Chanyeol,” he mumbled while looking at him from over his shoulder.

“I’m glad we were the ones to make the teacher angry today.”

\---

“Say it.”

“No.”

“Just admit it!”

“I won’t!”

If someone had come through the kitchen’s door at that moment, they would have found a lifted soup ladle pointing at the head of a man who showed no fear in spite of the hot liquid dirtying the white tablecloth.

_“Chanyeol.”_

“I’m glad you remember my name at least.”

“Park Chanyeol, if you don’t stop now, I’ll–“

“You’ll what?”

The question visibly took Baekhyun aback.

“I will... I will…” he made a pause before groaning. “Why are you like this?”

They had been discussing – more like Chanyeol had accused Baekhyun of something the latter denied doing–for a couple of days already, yet the issue seemed far from being resolved thanks to Chanyeol’s perseverance.

It all started when the roommates were on their way to their apartment and, instead of following the same kind of game Baekhyun would accept to be engaged, as usual, he had turned down the challenge. What could have stopped there was only the beginning of a bigger problem.

For Chanyeol, the simple act of refusing to play had meant way more than what it probably did to Baekhyun, but when saying no transformed into Baekhyun losing on purpose every time they competed, that was when things got serious. That’s why four days later, Chanyeol still couldn’t give up on getting the truth out of Baekhyun.

With a busy evening for the next few hours, Chanyeol had wished to change the scene before he had to go to his classmate’s house, but so far, nothing seemed to go by his plan.

After some minutes of staring at each other in silence, Baekhyun stood up with his dish in hand and piled it up with the ones from the morning.

“Don’t forget to call me in case you’re staying out late.”

“I won’t–” he mumbled to himself before noticing the pair of eyes peeking at him– “forget.”

Tidying up what was left over the table, Chanyeol moved next to Baekhyun to help him clean up the mess they had left over the sink. And maybe the dish detergent bubbles were the reason behind the itching of his forearms, but he had the feeling that his general discomfort was due to another factor.

He was cursing at the clock when a glass was taken from his hands.

“I knew you would be late for this. Didn’t I tell you I could wash the dishes today?”

Chanyeol ignored the remark, taking the chance to drop the argument to bring the one he was interested in instead.

“Tell me why you’ve been ignoring me and I’ll go.”

He could see the way Baekhyun rolled his eyes, snorting before backing up a little in response to Chanyeol checking up his face from closer.

“I’m not ignoring you. Now please,” he stressed, massaging his temple, “go.”

_“Then why won’t you go along with me?”_

He hadn’t intended to show how much this little quarrel was affecting him, but his voice was giving away how desperate he was becoming at this point. He couldn’t stop thinking about what could have changed between them during the past few days for the other to behave that way.

Before he knew it, Baekhyun was turning his back on him, hiding his face from him as he arranged the food inside the fridge.

“It’s not my fault you assumed I always wanted to play along.”

As if a bucket of cold water had been thrown over his head, Chanyeol’s body lost its strength and he almost ended up passing out had it not been for the chair he reached at time. Baekhyun wouldn’t know if he were lying on the floor for he hadn’t moved a centimeter.

Defeated, Chanyeol stormed out of the room, picking up the money and keys he had left over the coffee table and without looking at the kitchen as he passed by it, slammed the door.

Had he glared at the kitchen’s direction for more than a second before leaving, he would have seen the teary eyes blinking at him.

The day went by quickly after that. With all of the corrections Chanyeol and his classmate were making on their project for the upcoming science fair, he had almost no time to think about anything that wasn’t related to the university activity.

Not once had he looked at his watch since he had arrived at his friend’s house, a part of him not over the argument he had had with the person waiting for him at home. He was aware of the promise he made before leaving, yet the thought of talking to him upset him even more.

The two students were finishing the last part of their presentation when Chanyeol checked up the time on his phone by accident. He tensed up, excusing himself as he made his way to the bathroom.

Should he call him or not? And would Baekhyun pick up his phone? When he left, they weren’t exactly on good terms. But that wouldn’t mean his roommate wouldn’t care about his wellbeing this late at night, right?

Too many questions were hurting his head and his pride, but deep inside him, Chanyeol knew Baekhyun would like to know whether he was safe or not. He would do too in his place, after all.

Rushing to unlock his phone, he touched Baekhyun’s name on his list of contacts, forefinger struggling over the different options below.

Replying that he was okay to the worried man waiting at the other side of the door, he made up his mind; texting would do.

(23:07) About to finish over here. No need to leave a light on. Literally.

It wasn’t the best message he had ever sent, but it was better than nothing.

Half an hour later, Chanyeol was on his way home.

The oldie playlist the taxi driver was playing made sleeping an alluring option for a Saturday night, along with the wind coming through the window he rested his head on. He let it mess his hair as he recalled the events that had led him to this pitiful state.

Ambling on his way to the elevator, he made it to the seventh floor two minutes later. He had thought of using the stairs just for the sake of delaying his arrival, but that would be too lame even for today.

Only after thinking of a few sentences he could say to pretend he was unmoved by their dispute did Chanyeol open the door.

He had anticipated finding a quiet Baekhyun by the door, unfazed expression that only he could know was hiding a hot temper on the inside, or maybe when he would move to his room, the man would appear out of nowhere to scare him with a poker face that definitely didn’t show how mad he still was. These ideas had lifted his spirit while on the taxi, but to his disappointment, none of them became true.

Standing in front of the door, he could see the kitchen was empty, and taking a glance at Baekhyun’s door was enough to see it was closed.

Chanyeol sighed.

Taking off his shoes, he trudged over the place. He had had a long day; now he only wanted to reach his bed.

But when he passed by the couch on his right, he managed to see a curled up body from the corner of his eye. Chanyeol turned around.

“Baek?” he asked in a whisper, unsure of what could happen if he raised his voice. At the lack of response, he knew he was sleeping.

He then noticed the pizza box left next to the couch, with all the promo stickers still stuck around the cardboard in perfect state.

Sitting on the floor without making any noise, Chanyeol watched Baekhyun sleep. He watched the way his chest rose and fell in equal intervals, the soft breaths he exhaled making him want to join him, luring him in.

The weak batting of Baekhyun’s eyelashes was lulling him to sleep, and he found no strength in himself to walk away after a long day. Resting his head on his hand, Chanyeol counted the moles on his face as his eyelids became heavier and heavier until his eyes started to stay closed for longer and his yawns disturbed the peaceful sleeping boy.

Listening to the distant voice in his head asking him to wake up, he crawled to his bedroom, picking up the blanket he had left on his bed before crawling back to the living room.

And using the only remaining strength in him, he covered Baekhyun’s body with the warm blanket until the only part in sight was his face.

Looking at the grown-up baby sleeping below him put a smile on his face. Why did his cheeks feel so hot all of a sudden?

Chanyeol was fighting with himself, ordering his mind to remember to tell Baekhyun how he needed to impersonate a burrito on a play someday when all his will on living died, and the wish to sleep forever embraced him.

With the comfiest of pillows offered in front of him, he leaned into Baekhyun’s chest, body stick to the floor.

Chanyeol fell asleep the moment he heard his friend’s heartbeat.

Up and down, his head moved along with Baekhyun’s breathing movements, and the feeling of floating became tangible. It all went black for a moment, and then he was back in the living room.

Could the wind be playing with his hair indoors? Because there was something, or someone whistling his curls softly. He didn’t mind what or who was doing it, as long as it didn’t stop.

After staring at the list of things to do over the fridge for too long, Chanyeol adjusted his head to look at the hands above his face. The momentary pain on his neck was interrupted by the one on his stomach when the hands withdrew.

Baekhyun sat straight, leaving a spot on the couch for Chanyeol, who climbed it with a sore body.

“I guess my message didn’t reach you on time.”

“You could say so.”

Outside, the sound of some 80’s song traveled through the air, drowning out any other kind of music playing on the streets beyond the building.

Inside, the only light illuminating the place just enough to see each other’s faces came from a wall lamp, a few meters away.

What could only be the beginning of the night for some people was actually the beginning of an end for them.

In the serene darkness, Chanyeol imagined a sky full of constellations painted by the ceiling and wondered how it would feel for a human as him to catch one.

“Did I say something wrong? The other day, I mean. Or was it something I did? I’m sorry if I did, Baekhyun. It wasn’t my intention to–”

“It wasn’t your fault.” Baekhyun stretched his arm to reach for the pizza before taking one of Chanyeol’s hands and leaving a slice on it. “I must apologize for making you feel like it was.”

“Then why did you do it? Were you tired of my games?” Chanyeol took a bite that could give him the time it would take to gain some courage.

“Were you tired… _of me?”_

Frozen for a couple of seconds, Baekhyun then started to rub his face, whining in a language Chanyeol couldn’t understand.

“Why is it always so hard with you?” he asked more to himself than to anyone else. “Of course I’m not tired of you. I just…” Baekhyun stopped to glance at Chanyeol. An unspoken thought wandered over them.

Chanyeol didn’t know if Baekhyun was aware of how much he pouted when something was bothering him. If informing him meant the slightest possibility of not watching that view anymore, then there was no need of doing so.

Finally taking his eyes off from Chanyeol, he took a deep breath.

“I just liked to see you smile!” he shouted in one go, hurried to say everything as fast as he could for whatever reason.

“I’ve always noticed you enjoy winning more than I do, so I thought it would do no wrong to begin losing sometimes if it meant to make you a little happier during these days when you are too busy to even call your mom before bed.”

Then, the music vanished.

“Baekhyun.”

“Yes?”

“I’ve stopped worrying about winning and losing a long time ago. I thought it was clear I only enjoy the old habit of competing against you.”

With a grin, Chanyeol stood up from the couch, turning on his flashlight before walking to the lamp. When he passed by their previous spot, the shape of what could have been described as a ghost rose by his side, offering its not-so-invisible cloak to him.

“You can return it tomorrow.”

Stopping when both were about to enter their own rooms, Chanyeol turned around.

“And Baekhyun?” He smiled as the wrapped man tilted his head. “Thank you.”

Chanyeol thought there was no way Baekhyun hadn’t been a burrito in his past life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Hi Hi!!! I hope you're having a good week and I hope you like this chapter. Now... prepare for the angst.  
notreallybutstill  
Again, thank you for reading this fic and for the nice comments <3  
And finally, let's support Jongdae in all the ways we can.


	5. I wish you love

The pink roads from the once bright days were no longer present for what used to be colorful trees with warm shadows were no more than the falling leaves of a colder time.

Strolling had started to transform into just walking at some point, but that was something meant to be, he had been told.

And while teens were busy kicking stones on their way back home and chasing the golden butterflies above the clouds, a year passed by before anyone could notice the missing flowers decorating the streets from dawn till night.

With the changing of seasons, people changed too.

It was the first day of class when Chanyeol couldn’t help but wonder what the year would bring to him while staring at the clock on the wall.

The continuous sound could be heard from way up above the room he was in now, so the absence of the morning scents awakening his appetite before he could step outside his bedroom had been easily replaced by the noise.

With a busier family, he had learned not to wait for a ready breakfast at the beginning of each day but to follow his mother’s former routine in her place.

It hadn’t been a walk in the park at first, but things were getting better because no matter how tough a task could be, repetition could always find its way to improve one’s skills.

Adjusting the mirror frame before reaching for the night table, he then continued to comb his hair, running his fingers through the recently shaved area at the back of his neck as if searching for the traces of the freedom of vacations.

Checking himself in the mirror for the last time, he stepped out of his door.

Half walking and half running, the path to the same old building of the past showed an ordinary view; the one he had come familiar with since long ago, and though nothing seemed to surprise his mind, there was only anxiety in his heart as anticipation filled his lungs.

When Chanyeol’s body felt like giving up at any moment and the will to move his feet dissipated, the door he was glancing at withdrew to let him in.

He only had to narrow his eyes at the sudden change of light from the now open windows to grow a smile for the rest of the day. Or at least for the rest of the time the three people inside the room spent sharing their vacation experiences before the more expressive voices came to make them company.

One by one, the many faces he had grown familiar with for a whole year started making their appearance before him, some with little to no change on their looks whereas some had opted for the kind of haircuts most people would turn their heads to stare at the impressive styles.

Chatting, smiling, it was a sea of noise. By each group laughing with each other, there were at least three more shouting in excitement.

He had wanted to imagine how it would be if his old friends would be by his side, but with the image of Kyungsoo’s tidy books and Junmyeon’s clean uniform, Chanyeol admitted there was no way he would ever change the present over the past.

And then someone passed through the door, making everyone glance at their way. Everyone, but Chanyeol.

When the teacher announced his arrival, all the students in the classroom stood up to greet him, while two of them made a mess of the sudden order to greet a different person.

And yet, as the three boys hugged each other creating a sweet show for their classmates, Chanyeol’s eyes found themselves once again on the particular person they had once been before.

It only took that person to glare back at him for a second to make him realize there was no other excuse to continue delaying the start of a new year anymore.

“That would be the syllabus for now. Should there be any change, I will inform you.”

“May we leave already, Sir?”

The teacher should have predicted what would happen, for as soon as he nodded as a reply, the silence he had worked so hard to achieve was then disturbed by the chairs and tables dragged through the place.

Chanyeol was about to hide one of Kyungsoo’s pens on his bag when a tap on his shoulder prevented him from doing so.

The boy towering him wasn’t exactly the face he had expected to see though, nor was the crowd who followed him.

“Minyoung,” he said as he watched him from below. Even if the two weren’t the closer classmates, it still felt nice to see an acquaintance after a long time.

And based on the other’s face, it wasn’t hard to tell the feeling was mutual.

“Who would have thought a month of separation would be enough to make you a softie?”

Fist bumping, the student carried a chair to sit next to Chanyeol, who didn’t intend to stop him as long as the rest of the group didn’t mess with his two quiet friends.

“So, Park,” the boy who was as tall as him began with a smirk.

If Chanyeol hadn’t known him better, he would have read his expression as one of cockiness.

“What could you have possibly been doing during this time? Could it be that you got a new hobby that doesn’t involve studying?”

Chanyeol cracked a smile. “You should know I’m not ashamed of that habit of mine.”

He saw Minyoung winking at one of the girls standing next to him before turning side and left and staring at the last direction for a while. After some seconds of keeping a playful smile, he looked back at Chanyeol with a subtle pout.

“I do, but I’m worried about your well-being. And well,” he said while trying not to give away the irony behind his serious tone, “I can’t let you be on the top five in all of our exams. We’d like to have a chance over here too, you know?”

Chanyeol would be lying if he said he didn’t feel proud when hearing those words. It was an accomplishment he had worked hard to get, after all.

But the boy hadn’t finished, as he raised an eyebrow while staring at him for a moment before speaking.

“You and Byun are always fighting for number one on the class rank, so how are we supposed to change that?”

“Baekhyun?” Chanyeol thought at loud, confused at why his classmate had brought him up. “What happens with Baekhyun?”

The boy looked at him with wide eyes suddenly. “Oh, there’s nothing wrong with him. It’s just you two have been competing for so long, but Byun seems less and less interested in keeping his position on the list. Is there any bad blood between you and him?”

Forgetting about the face in front, Chanyeol’s gaze wandered around the room until it landed on the person they were talking about, and he was surprised to find something different about him; this was probably the first time he ever saw him with glasses. Since when did Baekhyun have bad eyesight?

“It’s not like that,” he answered as he continued watching the kid listening to Jongdae and Minseok’s quarrel.

“I figured.”

Those words caught Chanyeol’s attention, yet when he snapped out of it to ask what he meant by that, the chair that had been next to his for the last three minutes was on its way back to where it belonged, and the crowd and its leader were out of sight.

A hand touched his shoulder again, making him turn to the side.

“Come on, Kyungsoo is too hungry to wait any longer.”

Ever since the boys and the girls have found their place in one of the many groups existing in the class, it wasn’t strange to find many people trying to trick the teachers into letting them stay inside the classroom during the recess to gossip or to do who knew what that couldn’t be done outside. It didn’t make any more sense to Chanyeol because, why would anyone want to stay in the same place for the whole day?

Leaving the meeting point behind, the three boys leaned against the classroom’s door. He noticed how the sun was starting to reveal itself from behind the clouds, and the thought of having some nice weather for the first day of class was thrilling enough to stay motivated.

He also noticed how Kyungsoo was counting the money he was carrying on his pocket by the clink of the coins against each other.

“Do you think they could have run out of my cookies?”

“Not if we hurry.”

Chanyeol was still picturing what he would be having for lunch when he spotted Junmyeon and Kyungsoo’s silhouettes at the corner of the second floor’s stairs.

Well, he had just been abandoned for food. It was a noble cause at least.

After taking a look at his watch, Chanyeol decided not to go inside when he still had some good five minutes to return to the books, and instead rested his head on his arms over the railing.

From up there, the world looked as wide as it could.

From children playing hide and seek by the few trees the school still kept to the teens pushing each other to get to buy their favorite snacks before the recess was over; there wasn’t a corner his eyes couldn’t reach.

Both his curiosity and the unbothered mood he was in drove him to imagine the possible back-stories of the people he was looking at from a safe distance, and he kept his mind occupied with the different fates he was creating for every single person until he felt the presence of someone. Someone closer than the ones he had been studying under the sun.

He saw the girl with short brown hair approaching him from the corner of his eye, and it took him a moment to remember what her name was.

Putting on a smile when she copied his posture, Chanyeol waited for her to say the first word, not knowing what her reasons for coming to him were and being too confused to ask.

He was dying to check the time, but the fear of being caught was stronger than his desire to run away from the kind of subject he hadn’t mastered, unlike the others.

He glanced at his classmate again and saw her tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. She was a cute girl, indeed.

“What a nice day we have today, don’t we?” she asked while covering her eyes from the sun, invading Chanyeol’s space.

“Yeah, you could say so.”

Suddenly, she turned her head to his side, and the way her hair was falling as she rested on the railing shaped her face at the same time the sunlight tinted her cheeks pink.

Chanyeol felt like a mouse in an experiment, watched by an outsider who enjoyed playing with their prey.

Stretching her hand to Chanyeol, she grinned brightly. “Sooyoung.”

Chanyeol was amused at her confidence. “We’re classmates, of course I know.”

Cautious, he shook her hand before he mouthed his name to play along.

“Then, Chanyeol… how come you’re not with our class president and Do Kyungsoo? I had thought you inseparable. Maybe I was wrong.”

There was this subtle humor behind her choice of words that Chanyeol considered quite fun. He hadn’t really paid attention to her before. Well, he hadn’t paid attention to any of his female classmates, to be fair.

“You’re not, thankfully. Our friendship is as strong as ever, there’s no need for you to worry about us.”

She must have found something about him funny, as she chuckled with no shame.

“Oh, I’m glad you’re okay then.”

The two stared at each other for a moment, and then the tension was broken when Minyoung appeared from behind Sooyoung, calling her name and smiling at Chanyeol before walking away with her.

“Since when are you close with Sooyoung?” Junmyeon’s voice made Chanyeol jump in place who hadn’t noticed when they had arrived.

“Say, do you like her?” Kyungsoo asked as if talking about liking juice flavors.

“What? Me?”

Kyungsoo didn’t even spare a look at him, throwing the cookies wrapper into the bin. “Who else?”

It was a valid question, yes, but wasn’t the answer a little too obvious to even having to say it out loud?

“How can I like her when I don’t even know her?”

“Fair enough.”

Back in the next lesson, Chanyeol had a lot of time to think about what had happened every time the teacher let the students work on their own.

Did he like her? Of course not. He had been honest about that. But could he say the same after getting to know her better?

If Chanyeol was lost with these thoughts, he was even more confused when after that day his classmate found every little opportunity to come close to him.

Whether he found her gazing at him from afar in each lesson or whether she approached him and his friends with a new interesting topic every recess, having Sooyoung sticking around had become a habit by the third day of school.

Chanyeol had noticed the kind of looks the other girls and boys gave him every time they were together, but if he had to be honest, it didn’t make him feel any kind of way. There was no reason to feel ashamed when they weren’t doing anything wrong.

At the same time, he knew three days were not enough to know a person, yet so far, he was enjoying the girl’s presence more than what he could have thought.

Even then, he couldn’t help but wonder why nowadays he felt something was missing behind her lively mind. As if her nice use of the language did not come from her true feelings as much as it came from her brain. He couldn’t grasp why it bothered him so much, however.

Now moving around the cafeteria, it was finally time to rest for a while without feeling the need to engage in a witty conversation to prove his sense of humor and his bright mind.

Junmyeon was laying his head on the table when Chanyeol thought to have heard him mumbling some incomprehensible words.

“I’m sorry, I don’t speak that language.”

“I said you have changed.”

Chanyeol stopped chewing on his food when he heard that statement. “How come?”

The other removed his head from the cold surface to take a look at him.

“You’re taller now.”

“And more attractive,” Kyungsoo added before abandoning his seat to move to the only trash bin in the room, leaving the duo alone.

“I…” Chanyeol hesitated before continuing, “I hadn’t notice.”

“And I’m informing you. Your sense of style has improved so much that you could be on the same level as me.”

“I’m not sure if that’s supposed to be a compliment or not.”

Only on rare occasions did Junmyeon’s expression go from the one of a dad giving an important talk to his kid to the one of a friend mocking him, and today was one of those.

“So you haven’t noticed all the attention you now receive from the popular kids either. You’re the only one, Chanyeol.”

“You too?” he questioned Junmyeon, chortling. “I haven’t since I don’t know any of those cool kids you’re talking about.”

The topic was dropped the moment Kyungsoo returned, and even when he left as soon as he had come to clean the rest of the things over their table, there seemed to be a mutual agreement to leave some things untold on both parts. There wasn’t anything else to add, not when Junmyeon had raised his eyebrows in a particular direction.

Chanyeol didn’t need to turn around to see who he was glancing at when a high pitch laugh was heard.

Day by day, the girl’s presence only seemed to increase, filling every moment with her existence. While a week was far from being considered a long time, for a not-so-social high scholar like him, it felt like a whole year with the many interactions they had been sharing.

By the time Friday was coming to an end, both students had discussed more things that Chanyeol had ever done before with any other person, including his mom.

“Let’s walk home together,” Sooyoung had proposed to Chanyeol before he could even realize the teacher had dismissed them.

It surprised him. He had tried not to think about what everyone had been implying for the whole week, but having Sooyoung directly wooing at him in front of all the class was sure the action of reality humbling him and his wrong thoughts.

In an instant, the loud voices that had been expressing their gratitude for the arrival of the weekend were changed for the whistles and whispering the students of the class were well-known for.

Numbed by the strong response of his peers to what they were witnessing, Chanyeol remained silent, watching his surroundings and low-key wishing for an escape.

But strangely, not even Kyungsoo and Junmyeon were noticing his discomfort because while the former was grinning at him, the latter was giving him a thumb up.

As he turned to one side, the only things he could register on his field of view were the many blurred faces with the high pitch laughs, higher than Sooyoung’s, and higher than his own.

Chanyeol could feel his hands becoming sweaty, as well as he could feel his burning ears. Right in the middle of the classroom, the world was spinning way too fast for him to catch what was going on, and nobody seemed to notice he wanted everything to stop.

He was begging to all the mighty creatures up there to help him, and then his head stopped spinning when his eyes focused on someone.

On the other side of the room, far from the windows and the teacher desk was Baekhyun, frowning while looking back at him, and before Chanyeol could think of anything to do, Baekhyun had already looked down and away.

“So, what do you say?”

Looking back at the face close to his after failing at spotting Baekhyun’s face in the crowd again, Chanyeol took a deep breath.

“I think we should leave.”

The bright smile he was gifted with didn’t make him feel any better. As if he hadn’t known that already.

The pair had been walking around the city with a leading Sooyoung and a disoriented Chanyeol who struggled to follow her steps and her conversation, yet all he could think of while pretending to listen to her words was how during the week he hadn’t even waved at Baekhyun once.

It wasn’t as though they had become best friends by the end of last year, having little occasions to speak to each other since they didn’t share a mutual circle of friends, but it was true that they had become so much closer to each other after the few times they had exchange opinions and thoughts without meaning to get involved in those encounters in the first place.

He did remember now how he had thought there would be more instances to talk more than what was necessary for school, how he had imagined some class projects would bring them together so he could have the opportunity to understand what was going on inside the other’s mind, but even if it wasn’t the case, how come he hadn’t even seen Baekhyun much these days?

And among all things, Chanyeol couldn’t fathom why the kid had made such an expression.

Was he hurt by the lack of interactions between them? Or was he mad at him for something else?

“Are you spacing out again?”

Sooyoung had stopped walking and had turned around to face Chanyeol at some point. She didn’t wait for his answer.

“I was telling you about my family, but as we’re already here, would you like to come in to prove what I said by yourself?”

“Your parents?” he asked, incredulous. Why did she want him to meet her parents?

But Sooyoung wasn’t aware of the unpleasant feeling that had started gathering in Chanyeol’s body so she continued giggling without care.

“I’ve told them about you,” she suddenly said with a quieter voice, perhaps afraid of scaring anyone if she was louder.

“Sooyoung, I–”

“I like you.”

Everything got quiet then.

No people’s conversations through phones, no horns, no noise at all. It was the beginning of the young night, yet at that moment the city got quieter than ever, or maybe it was just Chanyeol’s imagination.

Maybe his mind had muted every single thing just for a second. To help him focus on what was important. To help him focus on what was real.

The continuous switch on Sooyoung’s lips and the way she held her folded hands over her chest did give her the cutest look Chanyeol had ever seen in a girl from their age, so why wasn’t he feeling anything when staring at her?

He had known it before, and he surely knew it now; couples weren’t meant to be if one side had to pretend something when it was just…_ not there._

That’s why, right then and there, Chanyeol took a decision.

“Sooyoung.”

One of the girl’s hands moved to hold her elbow, eyes going wider as she smiled, and Chanyeol’s heart made him promise himself to never wait even a week to make up his mind again.

“I’ll make a mistake if I tell you I do too.”

Right after he said that her nervous smile turned into a gentle one that didn’t reach her eyes. Above them was only a prominent frown.

“Why? Did I do something wrong?”

Chanyeol had no intention of making his new friend feel bad about herself, so he rushed to answer her with the truth.

“I promise you that’s not it. Sooyoung, I…” Chanyeol said in a small voice, looking for the right words.

He figured he had to be honest, even if that meant to hurt her feelings. She deserved to hear nothing but the truth.

“I couldn’t feel anything. I can’t _feel_ anything even when I think of you as an interesting person I enjoy being with.” He looked straight at her with a smile. “I’m sorry if I made you think I did. It was never my intention to lead you to that conclusion.”

Contrary to his belief, the sadness he had expected to see written all over his classmate’s face was replaced by the one of relief instead.

“Now that you say so, I guess it was my fault too.”

And then her cheerful self was back, leaving a confused Chanyeol.

“I always thought you were a nice kid, but it was only this year that I got interested in you. I knew I was rushing things with you because, in a way, I wanted to be the first one to pay attention to you before any other girl could get close to you, but I didn’t stop to think of your feelings or to think if I really liked you to begin with. I understand it was a selfish thing to do now.”

Chanyeol totally hadn’t expected that.

“Is that so?” He exhaled as he felt his muscles relax.

Still, there was a little uncertainty on her face.

“You’re not mad at me?”

“Why would I? At least we’re both opening our hearts to each other, although differently to what everyone would have expected.”

She hid her face behind her hands.“That’s my fault. I was too intense with you, I know.”

Chanyeol had started laughing at the mess they had created when she became silent again, which made him shut up for the better.

“You won’t make fun of me with the other guys, will you?”

“No,” he answered immediately. “I won’t. I may be… dumb sometimes, but I’m not a bad guy. And besides,” he tried really hard not to smirk but it was to no case, “I think there’s someone who would kill me if I tried to.”

She didn’t ask him who he was talking about, but Chanyeol could guess she knew that already, based on the stuttering mess she became after hearing him. They had parted ways no long after that, and when the weekend gave place to the start of a new busy week, no statement from any of them was required for their classmates to realize they weren’t going to be the new class couple as they had wished them to be.

“How’s Meokmul doing? Is she feeling better?” Chanyeol closed his notebook as silently as he could as he spoke in an attempt to finish tidying up before Kyungsoo, but only a glance at the other’s desk was enough to see the latter had been faster, as always.

“I know you too well to fall for your tricks, so don’t even. She’s better, though.”

“I told you he would notice,” Junmyeon whispered while he struggled to stand up, fighting with the books peeking out of his bag to keep them in place.

Pointing at the heavy object, Chanyeol raised an eyebrow.

“Got them from the library. I’m not staying behind you, my friend.”

Chanyeol chuckled, not even a bit hurt by his friend. “You’re not?”

Kyungsoo and Junmyeon promised to wait for him outside while Chanyeol cleaned up his desk, staying inside the classroom with the same few students who always left late.

When Chanyeol was done with throwing the used wet wipes in the trash bin and was returning to his place, he noticed a different student from the ones he always saw at the end of the last lesson had entered the room again, but he couldn’t see exactly who it was.

It wasn’t clear what that person was doing either, but he could see from his seat how they had sat on the floor, moving their hands all around it, trying to feel something that wasn’t there.

Leaving his bag on his chair, Chanyeol began walking in their direction, ignoring how all of the other students were walking away at the moment.

The closer he got to the person, the more stupid he felt for not realizing who the boy giving him the back was.

“Baekhyun?”

Hearing his name stopped the boy on his track, and three seconds later he stood up until he turned around. He wasn’t looking at Chanyeol, however.

“Baekhyun, what–”

Oh. Chanyeol understood now.

“I can’t find them anywhere,” Baekhyun simply said, but Chanyeol knew what he was looking for.

Shocked by the unexpected meeting with the boy, his only answer was to motion him to wait at not knowing what to say.

After checking half of the open front desks of the classroom and finding stuff he had no idea any student would bring to school, Chanyeol’s hand came in contact with a cold metal in one of them.

“Are these your eyeglasses?”

“Where did you find them?” Baekhyun took them out of Chanyeol’s grasp with hesitation.

Chanyeol didn’t comment on how could his glasses ended up hid under someone’s desk. He knew it would bring unnecessary confusion and if he had to be honest, he didn’t want Baekhyun to understand what could be the motive of one of their classmates for doing it. He only hoped the fucker wouldn’t do it again, for the mere thought of happening twice made his blood boil.

Thanks to the little incident they were finally able to talk to each other, and without waiting for the moment to pass, Chanyeol chose to use the opportunity to start a conversation.

But what he had hoped to get out of a casual conversation was interrupted by Baekhyun’s terse replies. In the end, he had no other option but to go straight to the point –even if that meant to expose him and his confusing thoughts– if he wanted to prolong their little talk.

“Don’t you think it’s funny how I haven’t even seen you and your glasses around for a whole week?”

“I don’t,” he answered.

After a pause, he glanced up at Chanyeol for a moment.

“I didn’t want to bother you while you were busy.”

How much time had it passed since the class had ended? He didn’t know. And were his friends still waiting for him to leave school together?

Chanyeol knew he should worry about these matters, but now he had the urge to make things clear between them. He had the right to show Baekhyun the way things were, didn’t he?

“Well, I’m not anymore. So will you say hi to me if we happen to meet somewhere?”

“What do you mean you are not anymore? What about Sooyoung?”

“So I’m gonna assume you won’t say hi to me in school. I didn’t want to believe you were this kind of a classmate, Byun Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun was adjusting his glasses again and again, as though once wasn’t enough to make him sure they were right. Chanyeol swore he could see him debating about something on his mind.

“Every one of our classmates was certain about seeing you engage in a romantic relationship, so how–”

“Why does everyone like to gossip about who could be with whom so much? We’re just friends, for God’s sake!” Realizing he had raised his voice, he added, “She’s a good girl, but we really are just friends and that’s not going to change.”

That seemed to calm down Baekhyun’s mind, so why was he frowning at him for?

“Is there anything wrong?”

But he just stared and stared, until a hopeful smile appeared on his face.

“No.”

Having nothing else to do in an empty classroom in which its silence was giving them the chills, Chanyeol and Baekhyun walked away to find none of their friends waiting for them at the other side of the door.

They had no right to blame them, after all, as they had later found out that was the day they proved the theory of relativity as an innocent mistake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again! For this chapter, I didn't have a present/future timeline so I chose to focus on the past timeline. However, most of the chapters will have two timelines. Thank you for reading the fic, and I hope you have an amazing week and that you can eat delicious food. Also, if you want to talk with me about anything you can write to me on my twitter (jackiechanolie) and I'll be happy to answer. Take care and thank you <3


	6. The nearness of you

Deep into the darkness of the night, a bunch of adults was hiding behind their window’s frames, trying to get a glance at whatever was the origin of the noise without being spotted. They probably already knew what the reason for all the fuzz was since not long ago they had been the ones creating it during their old good days of high school.

With the help of some upbeat music and the enthusiasm of dozens of curious teens, the house chosen as the meeting place for the party was succeeding in keeping the students hyped. The presence of cheap alcohol and the lack of any kind of matured game were not enough to kill the mood when the thought of most of the people in the room was the same; to get to experience something new after the quiet life they had all been living for so many years.

Pretending to listen to his classmates, Chanyeol found himself standing in the middle of a crowded living room, not knowing how nobody had noticed the current song playing through the speakers was too loud to let the words spilled out of their mouths have any concrete meaning.

In the distance, the bodies of two new lovers collided with each other, blocking the lights as they turned around in between kisses and caresses. Chanyeol surely hadn’t seen them together before that night, and the idea of being surprised by the fact when everybody else seemed more than okay with it made him laugh at himself.

Moving through the sea of familiar faces, the smell of the liquor moved with him as well. He needed to let it flow away, but walking away from the intoxicating cloud was harder with the reduced space and the few open windows of the first floor he was in.

The atmosphere was a fun one with all the drunken guys staring at the sober girls dancing in the center of the room as if it was a dancehall and with the rest of the people sharing the kind of secrets they wouldn’t dare to share on normal days, but somehow Chanyeol couldn’t get the same thrill the others did.

Was he not drunk enough? Well, his glass was almost full, but he had realized he wasn’t the biggest fan of beer thirty minutes ago, and he wasn’t planning on ending up like poor little Sungjin messing the homeowner’s carpet before he could reach the bathroom. Maybe he didn’t have a reputation to maintain yet, but he did have a pride.

As he contemplated the few options he had to entertain himself with, the sight of a couple interrupted his thoughts. It was hard to pick up the different vibe the pair gave in contrast to the majority of the people in the party, but after watching their actions for a moment or so, Chanyeol understood what it was.

While everybody seemed to enjoy the noise and the fun that came with it, these two happened to ignore the excitement going around them. Even looking at them felt like intruding onto something Chanyeol wasn’t supposed to witness, and the dark clothes he had chosen to wear for the night was definitely not giving him an aura of a stalker who tried to go unnoticed of course, with the long sleeve hoodie and all.

But also, it wasn’t like the last couple he had seen before either. How could it be the same when these two were smiling at each other like that?

Suddenly, the short brown haired became extremely familiar to him, but it wasn’t until another flushed face turned into his direction and waved at him that Chanyeol slapped himself mentally for not recognizing them earlier.

A weak voice had made its way to Chanyeol, so he tried his best to return to the side of the room he had just walked away from.

“Could you explain to us why we didn’t see you before?” the same voice from before inquired.

Pretending not to notice the lack of distance between Minyoung’s and Sooyoung’s hands, Chanyeol commented on the few probabilities of finding a person, even in a small place like that.

He was glad to have found two of the classmates he got along with after wandering around without a purpose. Would it be okay if he stayed for longer with them? He knew he felt comfortable around the two of them, but maybe it was too soon for getting too confident around Sooyoung.

He soon confirmed his suspensions had been wrong, at least in a way, for as Sooyoung’s smiles kept appearing as they did during their old conversations, Minyoung’s face couldn’t keep a clear expression for more than a minute. If he didn’t have a problem with Chanyeol’s intentions, then his brain hadn’t informed his fidgety hands.

Minyoung didn’t need him to get in the middle again, nor did Sooyoung deserve to let her new opportunity of having something real go to waste. Chanyeol already knew what to do before Minyoung faked a smile.

“Then, I’ll get going.”

“Wait, you’re leaving already?” Minyoung asked in disbelief. Chanyeol didn’t know whether Sooyoung had noticed the happiness hid in the boy’s voice or not, but he had, and that was enough reason to leave them alone.

When Chanyeol was about to stand up, his eyes met Sooyoung’s, and that brief moment was enough to make him thankful for taking the right decision, back then and now.

For the following twenty or so minutes, Chanyeol continued to pursue the meaning of being in an event that although he had been invited to, there really wasn’t a single reason for staying any longer. If establishing conversations with the students that usually didn’t look at his way in the past was a criterion of a good party, then at least he could say he had succeeded in being a cool guest.

Deciding there wasn’t anything else he wanted to do before leaving, Chanyeol evaded the questions related to his participation in the following parties that were yet to come, so when he made clear the petitions of having a few more drinks would continue being denied, he sneaked away by the closest door he could spot in the hurry.

He didn’t realize the door he had walked through just now had a more rustic aspect than the one he had opened a few hours ago though. That was how in the middle of a promising night, Chanyeol ended up with two empty hands, staring into the almost complete darkness of a traditional backyard with blinking eyes and plugged ears.

It took his eyes a minute to adjust to the poor vision the place offered.

He then saw what it seemed to be string lights hanging all over his head, and with the help of the shiny moon to his disposition, he ran his hand through the wall at his back until a kind of button at the corner made him stop.

As soon as he pressed it, the once desolate place came back to life in front of him while the feeling of detachment from reality the loud music gave him disappeared.

Even if the backyard was not the biggest one he had ever seen, it was still a pretty outstanding one based on the fancy decoration. He didn’t need to compare it with his family’s for he knew he would feel nothing but pity for their own neglected piece of grass and affordable stools.

Leaving the door behind, he ventured to grasp every little detail his eyes had landed on, from the scarce dew the bushes’ leaves had retained from dawn to the fragrance of the flowers swayed in the wind.

Careful not to damage the green under his feet anymore, he followed the walkway that guided him from end to end, leading him to the side the moonlight didn’t reach.

There he sat, admiring the moon alone yet in complete peacefulness, remembering the name of the songs he could hear from the other side just when a new one was starting.

One after the other, the tracks went by until Chanyeol had forgotten about the time and place he was at, too lost in the secrets of the sky above.

Since when did he find the world so fascinating? He couldn’t blame it on the alcohol, for all he knew the effects hadn’t been there from the beginning. Was he not supposed to be rejoicing in the freedom of the night inside the house?

The answers to those questions were clear but not needed, because tonight, Chanyeol didn’t want to question his actions and thoughts.

Tonight, he only wanted to _breathe_ for a while. To breathe from the expectations of others. To breathe from the heavy burden that it was to maintain an image.

Perhaps Chanyeol could have predicted the company of some new guest at one point, who feeling as out of place as he had felt in between the strident voices, would come outside for a little bit of fresh air.

But nothing was happening as usual, so instead of thinking beforehand of an alibi that could prove his innocence in the matter of being an antisocial loser who got overwhelmed in new environments, he only came up with the idea of hiding until the other person would leave.

Averting his gaze from the silhouette, Chanyeol counted backward from ten in hope of not seeing the figure standing by the door again. He cursed inwardly, however, when he found out his wish hadn’t come true.

And then, he _saw_ him.

It wasn’t exactly his face that gave him away, nor was his clothes or his voice. It wasn’t how he looked like but what he did.

There was something about the way their hands rested to their side while his gaze didn’t fall from the lights that told him this wasn’t someone desperate for an escape.

_Baekhyun._

Watching him fumble with his bag from the shadows, he covered his mouth to prevent the giggles to come out and alert the boy of his presence. If Chanyeol used his black outfit to his advantage, maybe he would go unnoticed until he was close enough to put a prank on Baekhyun.

Still with a hand over his lips, he tip-toed across the yard without taking his eyes off him, trying not to bump into the many elements he had been interacting with moments before.

In less than a minute he had covered the whole area and was now squatting at the corner of the wall, a few steps away from his goal. When he noticed what was on Baekhyun’s hands, he hurried to grab it before the other could wear them, but he didn’t stop to think what kind of reaction he would get from a person who didn’t know he wasn’t alone.

“Let me–"

_“What the fuck!”_

Scared from Baekhyun’s shout and little jump, Chanyeol jumped away with a louder scream and with his heart on his throat.

“Hey, don’t try to kill me like that when I have so much life to live yet.”

“And I am the one who’s supposed to apologize in these circumstances?” he eyed him from feet to head, having taken his glasses from him and struggling at adjusting them. “_You_ could have killed me.”

“Oh, come on. Don’t underestimate yourself like that. I’m sure it would take more than my face in the dark to scare you to death.”

Sniffing, Baekhyun crossed his arms without returning his gaze. “And you sure overestimate your looks.”

Chanyeol, who hadn’t stopped smirking since the start of their conversation, frowned at the realization of his words. “Wait, did you just call me ugly? Anyways, what are you doing here on a Saturday night?”

“I never said that,” he whispered under his breath, although Chanyeol still heard him, “and I guess the same as you. Isn’t this a party?”

“Well, yes, it is. It’s just… I didn’t expect you to be here, that’s all.”

“Well, I wasn’t expecting to find you,” he made a pause before motioning everywhere, “_here._”

With an empty brain, Chanyeol relied on his face to convey his disagreement with Baekhyun’s implication, but at the same time, it wasn’t his intention to anger the scary cat, so instead of making a fun remark, he tried to put his question differently.

“But I really want to know what you’re doing here. I’d have thought you would prefer spending your nights with some other activities.”

“Such as?” Baekhyun finally turned his way again, although not quite looking at him yet.

“Such as, well … don’t know, reading _Love in the time of cholera_ or something? You do like those kinds of books, don’t you?”

Chanyeol noticed how the other’s hands had moved from his side moments ago and were now crossed lightly over his chest, and he wondered if the wind was starting to freeze the kid’s body as it had done with his.

“I would feel offended if you hadn’t remembered I took a fancy for classic literature at this point. Also, I was invited by Minseok and Jongdae.”

“Then why are you here alone?” he asked with an unsettling feeling growing inside of him.

He couldn’t get how those two had left their friend alone, especially if that friend was Baekhyun, someone Chanyeol was sure didn’t belong to that crazy world.

Baekhyun, on the other hand, didn’t stay by his side to give him an answer but had followed the walkway that led him to the center, still hugging himself when he sat by the flowers.

Chasing him with long legs, Chanyeol came to sit by his side in a second, playing with the bushes and its blooms before losing his interest in them when the person beside him sighed.

“I don’t mind telling you as long as you don’t make fun of me. I can tolerate any offense but I don’t think I’m in the mood of hearing you laugh at me today.”

“I won’t,” Chanyeol grinned before faking a grimace, “I promise.”

The boy next to him plucked a white carnation, and only after trying to place it on his hair and amusing Chanyeol on the way with the effort he put onto such a simple action he managed to acknowledge the previous question.

“They have been laughing and joking around all along, wouldn’t you do the same if you were me?”

Would he? Chanyeol hadn’t thought of that until now, but no matter how well-intentioned Baekhyun’s reason was, it didn’t mean he was okay with it.

“But you’re bored! Don’t you care about your own feelings and needs?”

“I can bear a few hours of boredom.” Baekhyun’s eyes suddenly bored into his, and Chanyeol had to remind himself of returning his gaze, even if his nerves said otherwise. “Why don’t you go back to them?”

“To whom?”

“The cool kids.”

Staring at Baekhyun, Chanyeol noticed some of the things he hadn’t before, such as the red nose the boy was trying so hard to hide behind the flower he held and the trembling shoulders his light shirt failed to warm.

Taking off his hoodie, he cleared his throat. “Let’s make a trade.”

When Baekhyun’s frown was replaced with a lifted eyebrow, Chanyeol reduced the distance between them.

“But you will get cold.”

“But you’re already cold,” he said as a matter of fact.

He could practically see Baekhyun’s thoughts written on his face based on the many times he had opened and closed his mouth without saying a word.

“And it’s not like I’m half-naked. You, on the other hand…” Chanyeol glanced at the other’s chest, blinking to look back at his face. “Why didn’t you bring a coat?”

Sensing how reluctant Baekhyun still was about the idea, he realized they wouldn’t go anywhere if he didn’t act. That’s why instead of keeping insisting on exchanging his hoodie for the flower, he simply took the small thing in his hands before throwing the former over the boy’s head.

He couldn’t be any more satisfied at the sight of Baekhyun engulfed in the clothing many sizes bigger than him and at the color that tinted his cheeks seconds later. Had this item always been this warm?

A minute in silence passed, with the presence of some unspoken words staining the air, yet the feeling of discomfort was long forgotten between the two, replaced instead by some vague intimacy.

When Chanyeol had tried to get a glimpse of Baekhyun, he had found him staring at the distant stars painting the night, and after lingering for a little longer at the kid whose eyes sparkled with delight, he glanced up at the sky too.

Under hundreds and hundreds of lights, Chanyeol started to understand why some people were so scared of the universe. The strange thing now was that, instead of fearing how wide the cosmos was and how insignificant his life could be, the thought of it only seemed to ease his mind. To give him some new courage because no matter how hard he could fuck up something, the world would keep spinning at the end of the day.

“The cool kids are not half as cool as others make them seem to be.”

Baekhyun lost his interest in the stars suddenly.

“Don’t get me wrong, some of them are actually pretty okay, but it’s no surprise for anyone how shallows most of them are.”

Placing his hands under his armpits in an attempt to warm them up, Chanyeol chuckled when catching the sight of a pair of birds chasing each other through a neighbor’s tree.

“I don’t understand,” Baekhyun mumbled next to him, making Chanyeol to lose his track on the playful couple and to direct his attention at him.

“What?”

“If you knew that in the first place, why did you come?”

Baekhyun’s voice was soft and gentle, free of any kind of judgment one could expect for his choice of words while the night was quieter than ever, with only the tweeting sounds from above keeping them company at such a freezing hour.

Looking at him bathed in the moonlight, Chanyeol wondered if Baekhyun ever saw himself like that, and if so, if he had thought himself as cute as he was considering him right now.

But just when he was about to reach for the source of his curiosity, the strong giddiness he was feeling became so hard to handle that it woke him up from his daydreaming, so he had to play it cool at the last second, what made he fixed the collar of the hoodie while avoiding Baekhyun’s intense gaze on him.

Chanyeol definitely didn’t need to think about Baekhyun’s shudder after he barely touched him now.

“Let’s see,” he said as he chuckled again, though this time he had to force his reaction.

“This year has been kind of different for me. If I have to be honest with you…” he paused for a moment, until Baekhyun peaceful expression and relaxed posture somehow reassured him that it was okay to open up.

“They, our classmates, have started treating me better, you could say. I mean, I thought I could try experiencing some new things to see what all these guys like to brag about during classes, but now that I’m here tonight, having hidden from the noisy type, I think I much prefer being a boring guy.”

The laugh his companion made then disturbed the nightlife, leaving them once again alone with nothing but sparkling eyes.

“I would disagree with you being boring.”

“Oh, you haven’t seen me out of school though,” Chanyeol whispered, stealing a giggle from Baekhyun.

“I would like to then.”

It looked as though the statement had not only had taken him by surprise but also Baekhyun, who started humming to a tune Chanyeol didn’t know, which gave him a particular idea to prolong the pleasant conversation.

With an impatient hand, he looked for his phone in his pocket as he eyed the bag lying between them.

“Baekhyun,” he called, anticipating the answer he was wishing to hear, “do you have some earphones with you?”

Baekhyun limited to blink. “I think so.”

“Then, can I?” the taller asked while pointing at the thing in the middle, and after getting a nod from the owner, he hurried to take them out and connect them with his device.

Once the music was chosen and everything was ready, Chanyeol moved the bag somewhere else, and leaving his awkwardness aside, he shuffled to the body beside him.

When Baekhyun finally understood what Chanyeol meant by offering him an earbud, he took it without breaking eye contact.

And then, the music started playing, and time became nothing but a concept without importance.

There wasn’t a song, however plain, which didn’t evoke a kind of feeling, and such was the variety of genres that one moment the two boys would sing along the few lines they remembered and the next one they wouldn’t even dare to speak, too immersed in the melody to utter a word.

Just like that, the distance between each other decreased until both their shoulders were almost touching, keeping the smallest space as an imaginary barrier. But even then, there were some rare and brief moments when losing themselves in the music, they would let their arms gently bump with each other, perhaps searching for a sense of comfort from the lonely night.

Chanyeol didn’t know how much time had happened since they had listened to the first song of the playlist when it finally came to an end, and the only thing he was sure of was that his once frozen bones had changed their state during the course of the listening activity.

Next to him, Baekhyun was grinning from ear to ear, giving the appearance of a child who, after playing with their favorite toys after craving for it for the whole day, was now satisfied to the point of losing all their energy.

But nothing could last forever, and that was probably what distinguished a kid from a teen or an adult; the older you were, the less you could forget about time.

Giving a look at his phone and realizing how late it was, Chanyeol took off his earbud and gave him back to his classmate. “I think we should look for your friends and… we should tell him you want to leave.”

“Leave?” Baekhyun asked rather unsure, looking at him from below after Chanyeol stood up clumsily.

Perhaps, there wasn’t only uncertainty but also disappointment behind those eyes.

“But, I don’t know–”

“You have to be honest Baekhyun, just tell them.”

Seeing the troubling face he had, Chanyeol offered his hand to help him come to his feet, and when the other joined him on his way to walk through the simple door, he reminded himself of who was standing next to him.

“I’ll be by your side if that helps.”

Just before Chanyeol’s hand could move to the doorknob, a faster one grabbed it with a strong grip. And before he could register the reason why Baekhyun had smiled so many times tonight, the two entered the house walking next to each other.

To say Chanyeol and Baekhyun got the shock of their lives once they were inside wouldn’t be an overstatement, for when they walked through the door and identified less than a dozen people scattered throughout the first floor, neither of them could come with an idea of what had happened.

Coming from out of a corner, the faces of the guys Chanyeol had been inwardly cursing at previously appeared in front of them right when he thought about looking for them.

Jongdae was the first one to speak.

“Where on earth have you been?”

Or rather to whine.

“About that, I was searching for–”

“For the bathroom?” Minseok interrupted as he brought the exasperated boy by the arm. “Then what’s your excuse for not answering our calls for a whole hour?”

Watching the tense scene first hand wasn’t something Chanyeol could enjoy, but as he was about to intervene in the discussion with the facts of what had happened earlier, he stopped to think about Baekhyun for a second.

So, who was Baekhyun?

Baekhyun was, he thought as he saw him play with his glasses, a nice kid.

A kid so different from all the other kids Chanyeol had met, that it always made him feel like he didn’t know him at all.

But if there was something he was sure of, it was that said kid was capable of defending himself, even when he had a harder time making up his mind.

Chanyeol understood that it wasn’t his place to protect him from every single obstacle he could encounter, because deep down, he knew the kid had to come up with his own solutions to grow.

Resisting the urge of giving Baekhyun a helping hand, he waited for the other to speak as well as his friends, who had calmed themselves down somehow, and looked as if they could spend the next few hours waiting for an answer.

“Minseok, Jongdae… I’m sorry. I didn’t get lost on my way to the bathroom. I… I actually made myself get lost, so I wouldn’t be a bother to you.”

Exchanging a glance at each other, the two boys threw their arms around the shortest one’s neck at almost the same time, messing his hair while completely missing the fact that their friend was wearing something they had never seen him wearing before.

“Why would you do that, Baek?”

Jongdae’s only addition was a tug at his ear.

“Ah, it’s hard to explain,” Baekhyun whined, for once acting as a boy their age.

And the person nobody was paying attention to had to look at the ground, so he wouldn’t laugh at the scene.

“You’re good with words anyway.”

“Try to, Baek.” Minseok was the one to tug at his other ear now.

Chanyeol looked up just in time to see Baekhyun taking a long breath, to catch the second of calm before the storm.

“I wanted to get lost because I saw you smiling and laughing with so much joy that I deduced you would want to prolong that feeling for longer and I didn’t want to ruin the moment for you, but then I was extremely bored and,” he said in one go, only making a short pause to inhale quickly before adding with a short breath, “I couldn’t tell you that, so I much preferred finding a desolated place where I could hide for some time, but then…”

Swallowing, he then glared at Chanyeol, making the other two do the same.

“But then,” he said and turned to look at his friends again, “I met Chanyeol, and he kept me company until now.”

“Chanyeol?” Jongdae asked with a lifted eyebrow, doing a good job at making the intruder feel even more self-conscious, all the while Minseok gave him an unreadable look that brought the heat to his face without knowing why.

“Yes, Chanyeol. I’m truly honest when I say I forgot to check the time, and had I remember to do it wouldn’t be of much help either because my cell phone battery ran out, and that’s the reason why I didn’t know about your calls.”

Feeling the eyes of his three classmates on him again, Chanyeol took a step forward and confirmed the information Baekhyun had given.

Luckily, that was enough to quench their curiosity, and without more questions, the topic was soon dropped for a more urgent one.

“We should get going before they kick us out”

“Wait, Minseok,” Baekhyun said as he broke out of the tight embrace and glanced at Chanyeol, who in return was ready to walk to his side.

But the continuous vibrations coming from his pocket that he had ignored for a while pushed him to check them at that moment, picking up his phone right when a new message was received.

_(01:43) I’m picking you up right now, Park Chanyeol_

_(01:43) We will talk about this at home <3_

Chanyeol knew he was a dead man the moment he read those threats. He could still be a young person, but he had lived enough to know that heart meant nothing good.

He was analyzing how he could ask for mercy once he reached his house when he noticed the person standing in front of him, who stared at him while he didn’t care about speaking, handing that task to Chanyeol.

“So–” he said as he thought of what to say next when Baekhyun interrupted him.

“Do you mind leaving together? With Minseok, Jongdae, and I, that’s what I want to say.”

Something inside of him lighted up at this request, with a part of him being aware of how much he missed his comfy bed and with another one telling him this would be the first time he would be out only with the trio, and the idea of getting to know the group better appealed him.

Until he remembered the kind of messages his mom had sent him, and most of his excitement died down.

“Ah, well, I’d really like to, but…” He showed Baekhyun his screen instead of explaining any further, and the kid couldn’t hide his worry.

“I hope you solve your problem with your mother.”

For a quick moment, Chanyeol saw him hesitating about something before Baekhyun stretched his hand and gave him a light squeeze on his arm.

“And thank you. For tonight.”

At the time he had thought of an answer, the two boys had already dragged their friend out of Chanyeol’s sight.

It was at least fifteen minutes later after his mom had noticed his son had lost his jacket and had, probably for the well being of her nerves, promised to discuss his lack of attention problems the following day, that Chanyeol came to the conclusion that it wouldn’t hurt him not to see that hoodie anymore.

\---

It was as if Chanyeol had forgotten about horror movies these last few years.

All those screamers and that fake blood so common of that type of films weren’t unusual to his repertoire back then when a little bit of adrenaline they got from the sudden jumps was more than welcome.

Nowadays, the options were diverse, and many choices outshined the use of ghosts and demons in a low budget movie.

Almost half of the characters had died in terrible ways already, and it was only a matter of time to watch the murders of the other half, excluding the protagonist, of course. The young and beautiful protagonist should never die, according to directors and screenwriters.

At a piercing shriek filling the room, a shaky body bumped into Chanyeol’s left arm, followed then by a resting head on his shoulder, moving until the new cushion it had found became comfortable.

Chanyeol didn’t have to look to his side. When the suspenseful music got louder, and the eyes of the devil spirit shined closer and closer to the screen, he knew what would happen next.

His prediction was proven right when another shaky body bumped into his right arm, kind of squeezing him in the middle with the help of the other body as if they were a sandwich. In reality, none of these anticipated events had anything to do with the ability to foresee the future, and anyone who had known another person for a long time would agree.

That’s why Chanyeol didn’t even shrink when his two old friends decided to turn him into their own stress ball.

“Turn it off! I can’t keep watching this.”

“What are you saying? You were the one who chose this movie. Yeol,” the slender man begged with a pitiful voice, “tell Nini something!”

“You know I can hear you, right? Come on, Yeollie, tell Sehun to hand me the–”

“Can you two just…” Chanyeol snapped, grabbing the remote control from Sehun’s hands and pausing the movie at the exact time the spirit was shown, making the three boys curse at loud.

But even if Chanyeol wanted to scold the childish grown-up men, deep down he knew he wouldn’t be able to. Not when he still enjoyed their antics.

It wasn’t the first time Jongin and Sehun had visited the humble apartment. After an arcade date a couple of months ago, the pair had decided to accompany their childhood friend for a little longer after not seeing him for so many years. That night was not so different from this one.

Saying the trio had lost contact with each other wouldn’t be true, at least not completely. While Chanyeol hadn’t heard any news from the two boys during his first year of high school, he had later learned about the reasons behind the lack of communication.

Chanyeol had received a message from an unknown number one late afternoon, after spending most of the day doing his homework and helping with the house chores. Too lazy to leave the dishes he carried over the table to pick up his phone, he almost dropped them the moment he read the two names written in the lines.

He had been reluctant to reply at first, realizing just then how hurt he had felt after his friends were erased from the earth, but after giving it a thought or two, Chanyeol sent a short text the faster he could, not knowing whether he would succeed in his wish or not.

A day later, Mrs. Park had ignored his petition of always knocking on his door, and had informed him they had guests in between giggles and playful hits.

“We should have called before!” Jongin lamented himself as he blinked his eyes to stop the tears from falling. “And I know being busy is no excuse to forget about you, and I promise you we didn’t forget about you, Yeollie, we were–”

“We were just too busy adjusting to our new lives too,” Sehun added after taking a look at Jongin’s sad face. “We too had worries that we had to take care of, but we then thought we didn’t want to leave you in the past.”

Sehun was looking at Chanyeol with a stern expression, but Chanyeol knew him enough to know there were more emotions hidden behind that serious façade.

“Jongin and I regretted not meeting you before, so it took us some time to decide if it wasn’t too late. Still,” he said as he took something from a bag over his legs, “we’re pretty sorry, Yeol.”

Chanyeol couldn’t help but smile when he saw the silly drawings on the cover of the square object. He never knew he would be so happy to add a new one to his small collection.

“So I gave him the finger, and you know what he said?”

“Will you ever stop lying?” Jongin asked with a contagious laugh, making the others laugh too before turning to Chanyeol. “He’s not that brave anymore.”

Sehun took a sip of alcohol. “Okay, maybe I only thought of it, but you should have seen his face, man.”

They had moved from the couch to the table after Jongin had threatened them to leave if they continued watching the movie, and were now engulfing the slices of the pizza they had ordered.

“I remember when you actually did it to the director. I’d never seen your mom like that.”

Chanyeol recalled that day perfectly. How Sehun had got mad at one of their classmates, a kid who enjoyed picking up on little Jongin every time he could, and when the director caught him and the annoying brat arguing, he had scolded Sehun without asking what was the issue first.

“He deserved it,” Sehun said, finishing the last beer left.

On the other side of the table, Chanyeol nodded while he gazed at the empty cans stacked in the middle.

Somehow, he had missed the casual conversations with the two boys. Even after so many years, he could only consider a few things as valuable as some late night-talks with his old friends.

Watching them quarreling with each other like the old days meant more than what he had told himself, and listening to their school stories made him feel like a lonely geezer, eavesdropping on some young men when he had nothing more than time in life to share with them.

The wind could be heard when the room got too quiet, hitting the windows on its way with no mercy as the moon peeked on the glasses. It was that precise moment when the souls got rid of any ego left during the day time.

“Where is your roommate?”

Too immersed in the reflection of the moon, he had to ask Jongin to repeat the question, not sure if he had heard right.

Sehun threw one of the cans at him, making a sound when the taller dodged it. “Baekhyun. We haven’t met him yet.”

He wasn’t wrong. The last time they had come to their place, the boy had told him about that big project for the hardest course and how he needed to fix some things with a classmate before their presentation. Long story short, he had come home when the only person awoke and present in the apartment was Chanyeol.

“Visiting his parents.” Earlier, he had made the effort of not thinking about anything not related to his guests for the night. He comforted himself knowing he had tried his best when the name of his friend brought many types of scenarios to his head.

Chanyeol looked up the moment the pair gave each other a knowing look.

Sehun hadn’t lost his cool at all after all the beers he had drunk. “We were hoping to meet him this time. It’s a shame we can’t confirm our suspicions.”

“What kind of suspicions?”

“Nonsense,” Jongin hushed to say, grabbing another light can and smiling triumphantly when seeing Sehun holding his nose and groaning in pain. “Anyways, what Sehun means is that we would like to know more about your… friend?”

“Are you asking him or are you telling him, Nini, because I thought I heard you–”

“Would you let me live for once? I’m trying to save the situation, and here you come again shading me and–”

“Okay, okay, I’ll tell you about him,” Chanyeol announced as he stood up. He only sat after leaving all the trash which could be turned into weapons out of reach. “Why are you so interested in this?” he asked more to himself than to the others.

Sehun straightened. “So, you said you’re living with Baekhyun, one of your high school classmates.”

“Yeah.”

“And you said you two didn’t get along at first, but then you found out he was kinda cool and you regretted being an asshole to him and cried yourself to sleep for being so dumb.”

“Exactly–”

“Oh Sehun!”

“Wait, I didn’t say that,” Chanyeol mumbled as he stared at a frowning Jongin.

“Or something like that. But what we want to know is…” he made a pause, leaning forward to Chanyeol slowly, clearly enjoying the attention he was getting from them. “if you’re friends now, and if living with him affected your relationship.”

Relationship? Had their relationship been affected during this time?

The answer was simple; it depended on how he looked at it.

If Sehun implied Baekhyun and him had discovered a different side of each other while sharing the same place, then yes, because they had indeed seen new facets of the other in those last few months. But it was far from all the stories he had heard of people growing apart after disliking the experience of spending too much time together.

During more than half a year, they had both learned more about each other than they had done in the past, and though it could come as a surprise for all their acquaintances and even friends, he wasn’t really surprised to admit there were more advantages than disadvantages of taking care of a shared space.

Chanyeol didn’t want to say it at loud, but every time his roommate would leave his side for too long, he would wish for him to come home safe until he couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore. It was a secret nobody needed to know, not even Baekhyun.

“I thought of us as friends in the past, but I think we’ve only got closer through time.”

He didn’t know when he had started smiling, but he had noticed he wasn’t the only one.

The boys left short after cleaning up the mess they had created.

Free of trash and out of noise, the place felt bigger than ever. Doing the dishes had always been a pain in the ass, but Chanyeol found out he preferred the pain as long as there was someone close to laugh at his misery. Or to join him as he had got used to.

Choosing the meal for the next day, locking the door, and closing the curtains; Chanyeol had checked all the _things to do_ on today’s list. It was only him and the cold couch when the silence became unbearable at midnight.

What could Baekhyun be doing right now?

He sighed.

It was quite late. He should have thought about it before.

But maybe the phrase _better late than never_ was true. In that case, he was only one call away from his companion. Or maybe one text away would be more appropriate.

Not knowing why his heart was starting to beat faster, Chanyeol scrolled down on his phone until the name he was looking for appeared on the screen.

After writing and deleting a couple of dumb jokes, he told himself he didn’t need to be funny at that time. Baekhyun never got his jokes anyway.

(00:09) is Mr. Byun Baekhyun awake, or is this going to be a one-sided conversation??

He was thinking of the possibility of Baekhyun understanding his jokes but considering them too lame to play along when his phone vibrated.

_ **(00:12) New phone, who dis.** _

Chanyeol couldn’t believe what he was reading. Baekhyun had used a meme. His spirit was lifted in a second.

(00:14) that grammatical error must have hurt you a lot

(00:14) or maybe the one behind the phone is right and I’m talking with someone else??

_ **(00:16) …** _

_ **(00:16) I had to look for that on the internet. It wasn’t an easy task.** _

The sound of some steps outside the door made him stand up to look through the peephole. He came back to a text bubble announcing the arrival of a new message.

_ **(00:19) Did you have a nice dinner? And did you remember to use my blanket in case you got cold?** _

Chanyeol hadn’t forgotten. He had been saving the blanket for later, for when his feet would get frozen under the bedsheets and he would have to force his body to move to the next door. But when he gazed up to look for Baekhyun’s bedroom, he noticed how strange it felt to be alone in his own apartment.

He chuckled at his own thoughts.

(00:21) Baek, hmm… did you take all the warmth with you when you left yesterday?? I was thinking, well, our apartment has never felt this cold before

What was he even thinking? Chanyeol regretted his words the moment he sent them, and the fact that he had stopped receiving any reply wasn’t helping his nerves.

Having no other activity left to do and starting to feel worn out, he walked to the room he had been eyeing moments ago and grabbed the soft bedding. He didn’t want to act like an intruder, therefore his visit to the other’s chamber was supposed to be short. Still, he had turned around for one long second to admire the view before feeling guilty and leaving.

Once he had got into bed, he took a look at the device over his bedside table.

No new message. Chanyeol brought the blanket closer.

He didn’t know at what point it had started, but as he lied on the suddenly too big mattress of always, the melody of an old sad song invaded every room. If he had been feeling pathetic before, now he was moving to a depressing mode.

Had home always been so lonesome?

Gradually, the slow tempo music lulled him to sleep. His ears could no longer decipher the relatable lyrics when a muffled sound hit him.

_ **(00:49) Chanyeol, are you still awake? If that’s the case, then I hope you do forgive me. I was helping mom cleaning up and there was so much to do that I could not write to you until I finished. I tried my best at finishing quickly if you wanted to know. And… I’m writing everything in one message in case you are already sleeping. I don’t want to wake you up. Only because you would mention it later, of course. But now I’m free, in case you are still up. Yes. Goodnight, Chanyeol.** _

Leaning up against the headboard, the addressed man massaged the bridge of his nose in the hope of washing away his fatigue. He could sleep later, but he really wanted to speak to Baekhyun now.

(00:53) you’re lucky, my friend, for I’m here, 100% awake

(00:53) and I might actually have an idea

He hoped the next message would tell him whether Baekhyun was too tired to follow his petition or not, and when he received an _“I wouldn’t have expected you to continue thinking at this time,”_ he didn’t make the hard-working kid wait anymore.

(00:57) can I call you?

(00:58) so we can talk about the news and the weather (:

A minute later, his phone portrayed a short text.

_ **(00:59) Okay, friend.** _

He saw a smile on the reflection of the black screen, and without doing anything against the self-awareness of his giddiness, he lied in bed again, typing down the name he mentioned the most those days.

Chanyeol gasped when the voice he had wanted to hear for a while was heard before the third ring could reach him.

_“Chanyeol?”_

“So new phone, who dis?”

There was the softest giggle on the other side of the line for a moment and then there was silence for what felt like a minute.

“Baekhyun?”

_“Please let’s talk quietly,”_ the boy whispered through the phone._ “I don’t want to wake up my parents.”_

“But I thought–”

_“Please,”_ the barely audible voice insisted. He was left with no option but to whisper back.

_“But I thought you had finished cleaning up just now.”_

There was some hesitation from Baekhyun before he spoke again.

_“I told mom and dad I would take care of everything. They had been working all day, and they deserved to rest.”_

Chanyeol wanted to tell Baekhyun he didn’t have to do everything on his own, but knowing how much he respected his parents, it wasn’t hard to know they wouldn’t come to an agreement.

He still laughed when he realized he didn’t even have a reason to speak so quietly when there was no one but him at home until someone silenced him with a hush.

_“Okay, I’m sorry.”_ Chanyeol strived to think of an excuse to explain what were his reasons to call Baekhyun so late when he could have called him the next day, but he found none. He wasn’t even avoiding seeing the truth. He simply didn’t know himself.

But he had called him, so he had to use the opportunity wisely.

_“What’s like to visit your family after getting used to living on your own?”_ he asked with genuine curiosity. He had been in the same situation a few weeks ago, and he had wanted to know if other people felt the same mix of emotions he experienced.

_“I don’t know what to tell you. I think, perhaps…”_ Baekhyun hesitated, _“perhaps I had missed how it felt to be at home with them. Yeah.”_

So Baekhyun had felt the same way he did. Then why did his answer give him a bittersweet feeling?

_“But I have also only come to realize that,”_ his old classmate began again, _“I now belong to this other home too.”_

Chanyeol almost dropped his phone on his face at that. He was glad he had been holding it tightly to keep his hand from shaking due to his tiredness.

_“I… I know. I kinda miss having you around this home too.”_

Neither of the two said anything after that for a while, so Chanyeol tried to come up with a new topic to get them out from the unknown territory they were tiptoeing around. He went for the first thought that came to his mind.

_“So, how’s Yixing?”_

The night before Baekhyun left, he had told Chanyeol his childhood friend would meet him one of the days of his stay in his old house. Based on how late everybody had gone to bed, he could assume the other guy had been there until not long ago.

_“He’s fine.”_ Chanyeol could picture the smile Baekhyun had many kilometers away from him, the one he always had when talking about his friends. _“When I told mom Yixing was coming, she knew exactly what to cook for him. Even after all this time, neither she nor he has changed a bit.”_

_“Did she hug him for a whole minute this time too?”_

_“For a whole minute and fifteen seconds!”_ he whispered-shouted. _“I was counting.”_

_“And what did he do in the meantime?”_ Chanyeol asked before putting the phone away for a second to laugh.

_“I have told you he’s the happiest when in my mom’s arms. I mean it in the less creepy way possible.”_

During about five minutes, Baekhyun told him everything he had done since the moment he left, adding so many details to each story that Chanyeol didn’t have any time to say something when a different topic was brought.

When he put the phone away for a second time, the group of numbers showed at the upper side of the screen caught his attention. They had spoken for nearly thirty minutes.

And though they had continued finding new topics to discuss, it was now Chanyeol who led the conversation, while Baekhyun’s participation decreased more and more, until Chanyeol only heard him agreeing silently every once in a while.

_“Baekhyun?”_ he asked as he rubbed his eyes, trying to suppress a yawn.

Silence.

_“Baek, are you still there?”_

But this time, the answer didn’t come in the form of understandable words but rather in the sound of soft snores and mumbled sentences in a language Chanyeol had never heard before.

Lulled to sleep again but by a special tune now, he wondered if Baekhyun could remember later what he would tell him next. He closed his eyes and smiled one last time.

_“Please don’t stay away from our home for too long.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again! It's been a long time since I uploaded the last chapter, and the truth is that I wasn't really focused on writing anything with everything that has been happening lately. That's why I decided to take some time away from the fic, but now I'm back at it again. If there are people reading this, I want to say thank you for reading the story, leaving kudos, and writing comments. I know I write this every time, but it's really really nice to know there's someone enjoying what you wrote.  
I hope you're safe, and I hope you can have some fun while in this situation. Take care and thank you!!  
<3


	7. When you love someone

After walking around under the sun for more than an hour, the crowd that had been asking a bunch of questions to each group in charge of a presentation began to spread, going back to its corresponding classroom, not without bringing with them a cheap souvenir that would be thrown in the trash the next day, at most.

The day had started with a cold morning, but it wasn’t long before the gray clouds in the sky moved to the north, giving a much pleasant view and raising the temperature of the air.

Once inside the classroom, the biology teacher hurried to turn on the projector, sharing some information on the board before any student could protest against the idea of spending the last few minutes of the lesson doing some homework.

But nobody was even close to complaining, and that was because the recent out-doors activity had left them with so much to talk about that not a single person cared to look at the whiteboard.

Similar to the previous task, the boys and girls wandered around the room, reporting what they considered to be important details of diverse topics, including gossips and trivialities.

On the other side of the classroom, Chanyeol was finishing his milk while giving his back to the older man, scared of being caught breaking one of the rules but using the perfect opportunity to his advantage nonetheless.

He had been asked by Junmyeon and Kyungsoo to carry their trash too with the excuse of feeling under the weather after being exposed to the sun rays for too long, even though he had caught them high-fiving each other the moment he stood up.

Gazing at the outside world from his position near the door, Chanyeol ceased from listening at anything that wasn’t the early birds tweeting him good morning. He inhaled slowly, taking the fresh breeze to his lungs while he could see his classmates moving from the corner of his eye.

Chanyeol’s vision was the same he had had for two years in a row, and yet his mind couldn’t stop telling him how breath-taking the scene his eyes had landed on was.

It was as if he had only recently started to discover the true beauty in life and in the simple things that he had never cared to appreciate before. As if he could now enjoy everything and everyone who he interacted with.

Even waking up every morning and thinking about going to class brought him pleasure these days, as his own mother had told him during lunch a few days ago. She probably didn’t know he had noticed it before she mentioned it.

He wondered as he sipped from the milk box when had had this change began. He couldn’t think of an answer by the time he had finished, so he decided to drop the thought.

As he made his way to his seat, he eyes caught the faces of Sooyoung and Minyoung talking to each other inside their loud circle of friends, and he found himself staring at the oblivious couple until he bumped into someone who was running away from Minseok and his threatening claims about hitting them with their phone.

But the person that caught Chanyeol’s attention the most was actually the one he almost failed to spot when he looked back at his friends’ direction. Choosing to ignore the paper plane that hit him on the chest right then along with the apologies of the clearly-not-sorry culprit, he watched the classmate he had gotten along better lately being oblivious to their surroundings. It was hard not to focus on him when he was the only individual remaining quiet in the middle of a jungle, leafing through the subject book in silence.

When he had gotten close enough to brush the other’s hair, the idea of initiating a conversation with the boy while the chaos continued appeared on his mind. After all, they still barely spoke to each other during classes if there wasn’t any school-wise reason behind it, and thinking of exchanging a few words sounded just fine.

In spite of steeping into the boy’s proximity with no shame, the self-absorbed kid hadn’t even noticed his presence yet, so he had to cough loudly to make himself heard, though that caused more than one confused face to turn to him.

Careful not to make any sound, he dragged the closest chair underneath his legs, but as he was sitting to face Baekhyun completely, he caught sight of the open pencil case on the next empty desk. He didn’t think twice before picking the pencil with a flower design and leaving it on the smaller’s desk.

Slowly, the boy whose face was hidden inside the book raised his head, and Chanyeol could picture the confusion drawn in between his eyebrows while he avoided the curious eyes with all his might. He wasn’t sure why, but playing those innocent types of games with Baekhyun entertained him more than hearing the loud voices around them.

When he realized he wouldn’t be getting an answer from the brunette any soon, he put on his best smile and looked back at him. He definitely wasn’t expected what he saw.

Baekhyun was blushing.

“Baekhyun? Why are you…” Chanyeol thought at loud, feeling how his own cheeks began to burn.

“Another flower,” the boy commented under his breath, continuing admiring the pencil in between his fingers with a shy grin that made Chanyeol fan his face with both hands.

“Right.” He was as confused by his action as Baekhyun, so he shrugged it off for his own sake, so he didn’t have to deal with understanding his own mind. “What were you reading just now? Is it another novel from the library?” he asked regardless of knowing the answer already. Still, he anticipated the reproach he knew was coming.

Both Chanyeol and Baekhyun paid little attention to the girl that appeared from above and picked up the object from the latter’s grip with a grimace, leaving as quickly as she had come.

“Mrs. Lizzy has given me permission to take one book per week, so no.”

Suddenly, the many noises that had been disturbing the peacefulness for quite some time began to decrease, but it seemed like everyone but they were aware of the fact that now the only clear sound that could be heard was one of some footsteps.

“But Chanyeol,” Baekhyun said, sitting straight once again, although there was something new. “I assure you I am not the one breaking the classroom rules here.”

And that was the sign of a smirk.

Rather than getting pissed at the provocation, Chanyeol was pretty impressed by the attempt of making fun of him. Maybe deep down, really deep down, Baekhyun had the heart of a comedian.

Just when he was preparing what to say in his defense, a deep voice cut the air, taking everyone aback and making all the students standing up to run to their seats in a second. Chanyeol faked ignorance when the person whose chair belonged to approached him, and a moment later he saw her using his as if it had always been hers.

There was no doubt; the man walking through the rows had lost his patience.

“Thank you,” the same voice from before said with an even deeper tone. “Would you all be so kind as to read the instructions?”

Having more than thirty people reading, or rather _trying_ to read at the same time was a terrible idea than no other than a person who didn’t care about anything but about quitting his job soon could think of, and that was how the big group continued their task with no impediment.

It was only when they got to read the last line out loud that the uninterested tone they were using changed to a more enthusiastic one.

“For this project, you will have to work in…_ pairs,”_ Chanyeol lowered his voice when he said the last part. He then recalled he was good at math now.

If the scary aura of the teacher had helped to re-establish the control of the classroom some minutes ago, it had been one particular requirement of his that had spoiled everything.

The scenario went back to the previous one, where the majority of Chanyeol’s peers moved through the room, but the screams and shouts that called for different names was the novelty.

It was a fact; young people went crazy when they were given the chance to pick whom to work with.

Junmyeon and Kyungsoo found Chanyeol before the latter could try looking for them, and throughout an unspoken conversation at a distance that could be described as a staring contest, Chanyeol deduced neither of the three knew what to do with the distribution for the project.

As he doubted they would come up with a solution before the lesson ended, he thought of asking Baekhyun for some advice, remembering he wasn’t the only one in a group of three boys. What he didn’t think of beforehand, however, was that he could be facing the same problem as him.

Scratching his neck, Chanyeol raised his voice to let himself be heard, even though the person he was about to talk to was next to him. “What should–”

“We do?” Baekhyun finished the sentence for him, putting a smile back on Chanyeol’s face. “That’s a good question. Should we inform the teacher about it? Perhaps he could help us to solve this issue. We are six; therefore he could select each pair.”

“No, no, I don’t think that’s a good–” Chanyeol made a pause when he put two and two together–_ “idea…_ wait,” he said before licking his lips. “I think I got a better one.”

“Are you ready to tell me who you’re working with?” the man inquired, making the noise increase, although Chanyeol kept looking back at the person beside him.

“And that would be…”

Chanyeol hoped his friends could see how big of a genius he was for coming up with such a plan.

“Baekhyun, would you like to be my partner?”

But maybe Baekhyun disagreed with him because he choked on his place at hearing his proposal.

“Unless you don’t want to, I mean, I understand if you’d prefer to work with Jongdae or–”

“No!” the boy shouted right when the class got quiet, hiding behind the book he had been reading before to whisper close to Chanyeol._ “I would like to, no, what I want to say is I- I don’t mind to, well…”_

Chanyeol laughed at the grunting noises leaving the kid’s mouth and wished to see him losing his cool more frequently. He also noticed how Baekhyun looked beyond him twice, but he was too focused on the view in front to do the same.

_“Yes, let’s be… partners.”_

_“Nice,” he whispered back with a grin._

“Next in the list is Park Chanyeol. Could you tell me who you’re working with, Mr. Park?”

He raised his hand, and making sure his buddies were okay with his decision, he mouthed two names at them before saying them aloud. After receiving two thumbs-up, he looked back at the impatient teacher.

“Byun Baekhyun and Park Chanyeol, Mr.”

Four days later, Chanyeol was checking himself in the mirror for the last time before chasing his mother’s shadow on her way to the dark garage. If his reflection hadn’t shown him the image of his shaking hands, he would have come with an excuse to justify the origin of the anxiety growing on his chest.

Actually, the two of them had been responsible for the decision of going to Baekhyun’s house to work on the science presentation before the teacher set them free. All it took was an honest Chanyeol explaining his parents’ home repair plans for the weekend for the discussion to come to an end.

At the time, he hadn’t really thought about what going to Baekhyun’s place meant. He hadn’t thought about his parents and what kind of lifestyle the kid he liked talking to had behind closed doors.

What would Baekhyun’s parents be like? And would they approve the visit of someone like him to their home?

Chanyeol had never heard about them in the two years he had known Baekhyun, but if he had to say what he imagined them being like, he would have to admit he had little idea.

Maybe they were just like Baekhyun, and Baekhyun was… this small kid with a strong opinion and no fear to speak his mind, but he was also the quiet boy who enjoyed being around books and living in his own world most of the time. He doubted some adults could keep that freedom in the fast-living society they lived in.

Those were the thoughts the wind coming through the car’s open windows gifted him with as Mrs. Park drove them around the city under a clear sky. Outside, the streets were alive, not as quite full of silhouettes as during summer, but still with a nice amount of public spending the weekend socializing, making use of the nice weather.

The trees they were passing by on the car were greener than ever, and the worn pavement glistered in the sun, or at least that was what Chanyeol saw from the wing mirror, while the radio was playing the lasts popular songs and he could hear his mom humming to the tunes beside him.

Chanyeol hadn’t noticed they had stopped at a red light at some point until a hand landed on his, playing with it with reassuring movements.

“Is there something wrong, my dear?” she asked with a smile, the kind he knew she often wore to hide her worries.

Letting go of his hand when the light changed, she turned down the volume of the music, and Chanyeol felt thankful for the gesture. That way, he wouldn’t have to shout his thoughts and could whisper all he wanted instead.

“Does it have anything to do with meeting your friend today?”

How could she always be right when it came to knowing his feelings? He could agree it was a fact that moms always knew everything about their children, for both his advantage and his disadvantage.

He lowered his head. “Maybe.” Chanyeol didn’t want her to see he was lying, even though he suspected she already knew he was.

What he truly hadn’t expected was for the smiley driver to park in front of a supermarket, unbuckling her seat belt and checking her wallet before her son could understand what was happening.

“Mom? What’re we doing here?”

The woman led the way to the automatic doors with a confident stride, only turning around to offer him her hand before they entered.

“Let’s go grab something for our trip. Say, Chanyeol, does Baekhyun have a sweet tooth?”

The second time his mom parked the car was when the address written on the piece of paper he carried matched with the one written on the building behind a well-kept front yard, five minutes earlier than the time established.

If he had been nervous before arriving, now his pulse said he was way worse, walking with his heart on his throat while he held some secret sweets behind his back. Had it not been for the support from who walked by his side, Chanyeol wouldn’t have had the courage to make an appearance through those wealthy passages on his own.

Every property they had driven by for the last fifteen minutes screamed the words expensive as hell, and the one they stood up in front of wasn’t much different, maybe only looking a little less luxurious than the others.

From the clean gray walls framing a large wooden door to the elegant cacti adorning the entrance, every small detail came together to create an interesting concept of a two-floor house.

For a moment, Chanyeol almost forgot what they were doing in such a fancy neighborhood, blinded by all the beauty around them. And then he remembered._ This was where Baekhyun lived._

He gasped.

“Why don’t you try knocking? Unless there’s an intercom we haven’t seen yet,” Mrs. Park suggested with her tender voice. In contrast to her son, she couldn’t be less unaffected, even if she tried.

But before Chanyeol could put his knuckles to use, the high windows were illuminated from the inside, and after hearing the heavy panting of the person behind the door, a blushing face appeared in an instant with eyes that couldn’t decide who to look at.

Chanyeol was tongue-tied, staring at Baekhyun as the other stared back at him in silence for less time than what it seemed to be. They didn’t know then that while they were too busy to pay attention to the other person present in the scene, it was she who noticed something the two weren’t aware of at the time.

Flinching at the not-so-subtle poke on his ribs, the taller moved to let the woman see the mysterious host before she could make any inappropriate comment. When he put his ego aside for depending on his mom to start a normal conversation with somebody he already knew and decided to look at her, he saw her grinning at Baekhyun as she meant it.

“Baekhyun? I’m Chanyeol’s mom. It’s a pleasure to meet you, sweetheart.”

Baekhyun’s cheeks were even redder when he stepped outside, and he eagerly bowed at the guests.

“The pleasure is completely mine, Mrs. Park,” he gabbled as he continued bowing, much to Chanyeol’s surprise. Or maybe not, because he knew him well enough to expect nothing but good manners from him.

When Baekhyun finished greeting the astonished visitor after receiving a few compliments for his hospitality, even though he hadn’t even offered them to come inside yet, he gazed back at Chanyeol again, addressing him with a single bow and two hands that didn’t know how to stay still.

“I hope finding this location didn’t give you much trouble.”

“Don’t worry, we were just fine.” Chanyeol omitted the part where his mother and he put a price at every extravagant car they passed by on the road.

Mrs. Park must have been the only one who actually remembered what they were supposed to be doing, and that certainly wasn’t to continue standing outside for the next hour. Placing her arm around Chanyeol’s shoulder, she broke the awkward silence again.

She looked at Baekhyun. “I’ll go before his father calls me to tell me the house fell apart. Take care of him, please.”

After Baekhyun’s nod, she turned to the boy under her arm with a wink. “I’ll leave you in good hands, then. Have fun, dear.”

The two boys watched the car driving away in the distance, and the next thing Chanyeol knew was that they had moved to an opaque spacious living room with a pretty normal in size TV and some less modest armchairs.

Giving a few more steps into the center, he tried his best not to bump into the many decorative figures lying on the floor and on the prominent shelves as he still held the simple gift behind his back. On the opposite corner, a lit lamp shined on an indoor plant he didn’t know the name of.

If he had to describe the place using one word, he would have said it was neat, but that would be to disrespect the aesthetic of the room, whatever the mix of the elegant and vintage design was.

Chanyeol was so absorbed in admiring the old inanimate objects around him that he didn’t notice when the only other person in the house came back to his side, offering him a glass of juice. That was the right moment to hand over the present.

He lowered his gaze to look at the golden box of chocolate bonbons that separated them instead of looking at Baekhyun.

“Mom thought it was a good idea to give you some sweets to thank you for having me.”

He was starting to feel too hot to his like when the light touch of a hand over his sent a shiver down his spine.

“Sorry,” the kid mumbled before withdrawing his hand in painful silence. “Your mom is pretty considerate. I must thank her again the next time we see each other.”

It was that mere skin-to-skin contact that made them lock eyes. Chanyeol never knew people’s bodies could react like that at such a simple touch.

“Yeah, I guess so… unless it’s me who we’re talking about. You see, she likes playing pranks on me all the time.”

Chanyeol wasn’t sure what it was, but the atmosphere in the room felt different from the ones he had experienced when it came to visiting his other friends. He had always felt completely comfortable on all those other occasions, while here he only was self-conscious and somehow shy.

Maybe it was because Baekhyun was a little different from the other guys, but even that thought didn’t feel quite right.

“These are some of my favorites, thank you,” Baekhyun said after a while, lifting the box over his head before ambling into the stairs at the end of the chamber. “Let’s bring them to my room so we can eat some of them while working.”

“What about your family?” Chanyeol asked from behind, following the homeowner through the room. “Aren’t your parents at home?”

Baekhyun didn’t face him as they went upstairs, scarcely raising his voice, so he didn’t have to turn around.

“Mom and dad are working. They’ll be here in a few hours.”

Leaving the stairs behind, Chanyeol stepped into the long hallway on the second floor with Baekhyun on the lead. They had passed by two doors when the other stopped in front of the one at the end.

With a hand on the doorknob, the shorter excused himself for the mess before stepping inside. When Chanyeol’s eyes adjusted to the sunlight bathing the bedroom, he wondered what kind of mess Baekhyun was talking about, because for him, that would be a misconception of the concept.

Baekhyun’s idea of a messy room would change the day he saw his own.

Inside, the first thing Chanyeol eyed was the bed in the center. It was big and covered in pillows, and it was perfectly made, in contrast to his. But the next thing Chanyeol saw as he bent down to put his bag beside Baekhyun’s was what caught him out of guard when it probably shouldn’t.

Occupying the entire left wall was a wooden bookshelf filled with as many books as it was possible, leaving only a few empty spaces in between them that, in any case, wouldn’t be enough to add another work without making the furniture crumble, giving up to all the heavyweight.

Chanyeol had never seen so many books together, except the times he had gone to the library. He must have stared at it for a long time because he didn’t see Baekhyun standing behind him until his voice resonated in the bedroom.

“Mom and dad insisted on placing it here instead of on the first floor, where most families would prefer to place it for, you know, showing off.”

The taller turned around just at the perfect time to catch Baekhyun looking at him for the split of a second before dropping his gaze. That was not so unpredictable anymore, maybe.

In the past, Baekhyun would always maintain eye contact with Chanyeol, which sometimes left him confused as to what to do in those situations where the other didn’t seem to know that staring at someone could be considered as rude. Now, it was the complete opposite.

Had Baekhyun learned the social cues he was unaware of before by now or was it something else?

“You can sit on my bed if you want to. I’ll use the desk.”

“Oh, thank you.”

Chanyeol didn’t want to be a bad guest, as his mother had taught him too much about manners to disrespect her lessons and his own dignity to do something improper in someone else’s house, but the bed looked so comfy that it helped him to make a petition to his classmate despite his worries.

“Would it be too much if we lay instead?”

At least he had included him so both could rest comfortably while working on the project.

Baekhyun was silent at first, fiddling with the hem of his shirt and looking at his lap.

After a while, he grabbed the notebook he had taken from the desk drawer and made his way to the bed. The two boys were lying side by side on the mattress the next moment, each using a pillow to rest their heads and to keep them from falling asleep before finishing the job.

Without knowing it, Chanyeol would be more interested in the topic that what he would have thought to be in the beginning, giving his opinion every time his project partner read the information he had gathered during the week. Baekhyun wasn’t the only one who had made some research during those days.

Up until now, his goal had been to improve his performance on all the subjects, and he could say all the hard work had paid off as he had gained all that new knowledge he didn’t have before, but he hadn’t stopped to think about his preferences at the time to study even once.

That afternoon, Chanyeol discovered the fun hidden in the world of science, and the fun of being with Baekhyun when school was over and no one else was around to join them.

Both boys had been so focused on writing down all the details selected for their draft of their presentation that they didn’t see the way the sun had moved since they had first entered the room.

They didn’t pay attention to the time they had spent working together, and they didn’t notice how neither of them could keep their eyes open when the room got painted with shadows.

Five minutes later, Chanyeol put down the pen he had been using with his notebook, and from the corner of his eye, the sight of a curled person kept his mind busy from shutting down at any moment.

He wished to close his eyelids as much as he struggled to turn his eyes away from the serene face next to his. The decision to welcome the darkness or to stay away from it.

Listening to his soft breaths, Chanyeol watched Baekhyun sleep beside him.

He watched his eyelashes flutter along with his flickering eyes, and noted how small they were when he thought of his own. He watched how the small nose he had noticed when he first met the sleepy boy hadn’t changed a bit. How everything about him remained as… adorable as always.

Did he ever consider Kyungsoo and Junmyeon to be adorable too? Had he ever thought of Sehun and Jongin as cute as well?

Looking up from the singular pair of lips that got him staring, he found the messy hair resting on one side of the pillow and falling on one of his cheeks, and his hands itched at the vision, hoping to have the chance to run through the soft locks with freedom.

In the dreamy scenery, Baekhyun was vulnerable, and Chanyeol felt like protecting him was his only duty for as long as that evening could last.

He felt his muscles relaxing when their breaths left them at the same time, as their bones got warmed over the same blanket, and little by little, Chanyeol allowed the tiredness he had been suppressing to finally overcome him just like how Baekhyun had done minutes earlier.

Watching Baekhyun mumble some incoherent words as the last ray of sun lighted his shape, he closed his eyes again with no intention of opening them for a while.  
Chanyeol fell asleep to the image of Baekhyun when everything else turned black.

The next time he recovered his senses was when he felt something messing with his head. After opening his eyes, his mind registered who was actually touching his hair and that someone was quick to put a small distance between them.

A part of him hadn’t liked the space he had gained at all. He never asked for it in the first place.

“Baekhyun?” Chanyeol yawned as he stretched. “How long did we sleep?”

“I wouldn’t know. I haven’t moved since I woke up,” he answered with a raspy voice.

He had never heard his voice like that before. It was different. And it was nice.

The effects of the nap he had taken were still there, so Chanyeol groaned when he remembered how good he had felt seconds before he caught Baekhyun looking at him with some even droopier eyes, playing with some strands of his hair.

Blaming it on his drowsy state and without thinking it twice, he pulled the hand that had been put away moments earlier and placed it back to where he thought it belonged.

That took Baekhyun by surprise, whose heavy eyes snapped open under Chanyeol’s gaze and whose lifted arm became rigid in place. But the astonishment could never last forever, and in no time, he began petting him as if it was a puppy that he had in front.

Chanyeol left a long, content sigh. “That’s better.”

Before, he would have felt weird doing whatever he was doing with Baekhyun, embarrassed to initiate any kind of interaction with the kid he saw as a mystery. But now, things were different.

Things had started changing before he could realize that Baekhyun had stopped being a strange kind of an enemy and, at the same time, it was more complex than knowing he had become a good guy who he only liked talking to from time to time.

As the two of them lay in bed in a room that only enabled them to see each other’s faces, Chanyeol realized Baekhyun was not just a nice kid. Baekhyun was a friend to him too.

_Baekhyun was his friend._

Relaxing under his tender touches, Chanyeol allowed his mind to process what that meant and what it could mean.

Baekhyun had a kind of a smile that calmed him down as they looked at each other, and Chanyeol had never wanted to share his emotions with someone as much as today.

_Baekhyun was his friend, and that made him so happy._

He had gathered the courage to tell him how glad he was for finding a friend in him when the sound of the bedroom’s door moving reached them.

Baekhyun still had his hand on Chanyeol’s hair when the silhouette of a woman was reflected in the walls.

“Pardon, Baekhyun. I should have knocked before.”

When they were back to being alone, the place went dead quiet for about a minute. Chanyeol was the first one to straighten up.

He felt embarrassed. They weren’t doing anything wrong, were they?

“I’m extremely sorry. My parents must be exhausted, that might be the reason why–”

“It’s okay,” he said as if he wasn’t aware of how anxious he had started to feel all at once.

Strangely, all the nervousness from the beginning had disappeared when he talked with Baekhyun.

Turning the lights off, they went downstairs, and Chanyeol’s grip on the stair railing tightened.

That first encounter with Baekhyun’s mom had been… not what he’d have wanted it to be like. If he wished to have a good impression on Baekhyun’s parents, then that was definitely not the best start.

But there was nothing he could do to change that by now, so he decided to manage the situation the best way he could with what he had at hand; his personality.

Would that be enough for the type of parents he was expecting to meet? Maybe, or maybe not, but there wasn’t much more than that he could offer. He hoped the pair of adults could discover whatever charm he could have in himself.

When Chanyeol stopped the inner speech going on his mind by glancing at a long table adorned with a luxurious tablecloth and shiny plates, he thought he was about to have the most delicious meal of his life just based on the decoration and the smell.

He was oblivious to the people staring at him with expectant eyes, or that was until his new friend put a hand on his shoulder, making him look at him to then turn to the couple sat in front of them, separated by the many dishes served in the middle.

The first person he looked at was the woman he had seen minutes earlier in Baekhyun’s room.

Because of the embarrassment he had felt at that moment, Chanyeol hadn’t truly registered what she looked like. Now that he saw her under the night lights over their heads, he thought she was pretty, even when the traces of a busy and hard life were visible on her delicate features. Baekhyun was, with no doubt, the younger version of his beautiful mom.

To her left was who he thought would be Mr. Byun, a middle-aged man dressed in a laid-back suit that, had it not been for the same worn-out aspect and his tired eyes, would have made him look like a recently graduated student.

Despite their difficulty to keep their heads up like their son and his guest, both adults wore a gentle smile that invited everyone to reply with a similar one in return. Not like anyone would even dare to disagree.

Chanyeol knew right there that he would happen to like them so much.

And to his good luck, he had the feeling that he wouldn’t need to worry too much about his self-presentation anymore.

After Mrs. Byun had served the tea for all the men present, she sipped from her cup with no rush, playing with it before raising her eyes. Her smile came back when she met Chanyeol’s eyes.

“Forgive me, son, for my lack of manners upstairs. I must have frightened our guest tonight without meaning it.”

It was Chanyeol’s turn to speak, but it wasn’t exactly his voice that came to answer.

“Of course you didn’t. Mom, this is Chanyeol, my … friend,” Baekhyun announced.

He had started confidently, but by the end of the sentence, said confidence had become weaker and less certain.

And yet to Chanyeol, it didn’t matter. That one word alone meant more than all those other certainties in life. Chanyeol was Baekhyun’s friend too.

“Park Chanyeol, Ma’am. I’m your son’s friend.”

He cleared his throat, not knowing where those words were coming from, but not doing anything to stop them from coming either. He could still recognize how silly he sounded, but he had to use the unexpected conviction he had won with Baekhyun’s confession. Knowing himself, he would run out of it quickly.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Chanyeol. I once again apologize for coming to his room without calling and …” she made a pause when her husband and she exchanged a glance, “interrupting you. We are glad you didn’t leave before we arrived. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have the opportunity to have you with us for dinner.”

Mr. Byun waited for his wife to finish before asking her to handle him a napkin.

“I have to agree. Baekhyun doesn’t bring many classmates over here, let alone friends.” He went from looking at Chanyeol to look at his son. “We’ll love to receive them with open arms.”

“I’m still here, just so you know.”

Chanyeol couldn’t stop giggling at every teasing remark given as the conversation went on. He was so captivated by the sweet relationship between Baekhyun and his parents, and how similar it was to his own with his family.

It was nothing like what he had expected, but he didn’t mind having been wrong all along.

“So tell me, Chanyeol. According to you, how is our Baekhyun while at school?”

“School?” he thought at loud, putting down his cup for a moment.

“That’s right, at school.”

Her expression changed then from cordiality to something Chanyeol couldn’t identify at first. At a second glance, however, he thought it could be described as one of remorse.

When Mr. Byun took his wife’s hand in his, Chanyeol noticed they were sharing that painful expression now. He didn’t like it a bit.

“You see, son, my wife and I have lost so many precious moments of Baekhyunee’s life because our… dream of building a better future for him required for us to make some sacrifices. But we learned once we took a break to look at the hard road we had left behind that there’s only so much money can buy.”

In the short pause that followed those words, Chanyeol thought of the stories his mother had shared with him on one similar day to this one many years ago, when the weight of the age difference between the two was bigger than today, and when the mind of an energetic child had better things to do on a summer night than to listen to all the hardships the older people had gone through to survive in an apathetic world.

He hadn’t understood why there were tears on his mother’s eyes then, but he did it now. That was why he pretended not to notice all the invisible regrets built up in those fancy walls.

“If we were granted a wish, we’d choose to know what our son’s life is like while we are away. To know if all our efforts and good intentions didn’t end up being a burden for our clever boy.”

Since the dinner had started, Chanyeol hadn’t directed a single word to Baekhyun, being too busy admiring the family bond between the three. After taking in the heavy truth behind his wealthy life and his duty of living a better life in gratitude to his parents, the less he wanted to do was to intrude into his life any more.

As he turned to acknowledge him for the first time in a while, he saw the other nodding in his direction, giving him full permission to inform his family about his behavior and well being.

If Baekhyun was okay with it, then he was too.

“Well, Baekhyun excels in every subject at school, if you take P.E off, of course. But if you ask me, I’d say he’s been getting better at that too over time.”

With everyone’s attention on him, he felt pressured to give a detailed description of his friend’s academic achievements. Maybe asking their teacher to have a look at his grades would be a good idea.

But apparently, that wasn’t enough to make them happy. Both woman and man had leaned closer to him with bright eyes.

“We appreciate your insight on his academic growth, believe us, but we would much prefer to hear about his, you know,_ relationship with his peers_, you could say” she mentioned as she stressed the last words.

Chanyeol had kind of seen that coming, yet wouldn’t be too much to expose his friend’s social skills to his parents? Would he be okay with that?

He felt the need to check on Baekhyun’s opinion before saying anything, and that’s what he did. His unspoken question was answered with a second nod. Something told Chanyeol the other was as interested in what he had to say as his parents, even when he had decided to stuff his mouth with all the food he could grab from the table.

“Actually, Mrs. and Mr. Byun, Baekhyun’s a really nice student, and I don’t mean that just in the academic way.”

Chanyeol wanted to tell them more. To tell them they didn’t need to worry about their quiet son, because contrary to what his past-self would have thought, the sincerity of his personality had been enough to get him to the right place and the right people. Did that include him now that he was aware of their friendship?

He felt thirsty all of a sudden. Thank God the tea hadn’t gone cold yet.

“Baekhyun’s so fond of literature, although I suppose that’s no new information for you. But like, he’s really, really good with words and with all the fancy things that most of us don’t even understand.”

His tongue was spilling the truths his mind could only think to censure some seconds after they were out, and the silence began to intrude less and less when his voice got the company of some light laughs.

“I don’t think there’s anyone who doesn’t like him, and teachers have the best opinion of him because he never shows off when he could. He’s the kind of person who helps other students to understand anything they can’t get and the type of boy who lets others speak first so they can get the right answer despite him knowing it already.”

Like some shy flames that had been hiding from a long storm, the old lady’s face came alive at hearing the good news that for Chanyeol were nothing but facts worth to spread.

“Is that so?” she asked but to Baekhyun.

“Yes, Ma’am, and he’s pretty close to two of our classmates.”

“Kim Minseok and Kim Jongdae, am I right?”

So they knew about them. How much did they know about those rascals anyway?

Mr. Byun couldn’t conceal his laugh even when he’d tried to keep quiet, and soon everybody joined him as if addressing the elephant in the room without saying much.  
“They’ve been here a couple of times. Good people indeed, there’s no question about that.”

As they continued laughing, Chanyeol couldn’t help but feel guilty of judging Baekhyun’s parents so hard without even having meeting them, just as he had done with their son a year ago.

The three soft-spoken people made such a lovely family, and here he was thinking they would make him feel like an outsider in their house.

And then, someone bumped into his leg softly enough to not hurt him but more than enough to stop him from staring into his empty cup.

Baekhyun’s corners of his mouth were still turned upwards._ “Is everything alright?”_

And suddenly, everything was.

Chanyeol was sure he would go back to this memory in the distant future, when he’d be recalling the events of his youth on a lonely night.

He would make sure to add as many simple memories as possible, so his future self could always have something to return to when life got complicated. It was a silent promise.

“Excuse us, boys, but my husband and I wanted to come clean about something.”

“Mom?”

“Of course we’ve heard of you before, Chanyeol. We had been waiting for Baekhyun to bring you home for so long.”

Chanyeol had never felt so happy for being proven wrong until now. Being right was way too overrated.

\---

“And I guess that’s how she came with that conclusion. Crazy, don’t you think?”

White noise and absurd words made their place in the void of the crowded kitchen, where two boys and a girl seemed like too many people reunited in a single spot, and a pair looked more appropriate for the occasion. Adding the same major and the shared inherent interest to the equation, someone was meant to interrupt something bigger than his worried mind.

“I see.”

The conversation was more of a one-sided type than of an exciting ongoing dialogue, but that had never been an indicator of enthusiasm for him, and Chanyeol knew that.

He knew too well, hence he tried to convince himself that what bothered him the most was only boredom and nothing more. But he knew too well to accept that lie.

The ordered pizza didn’t taste as good as the many times the two of them had eaten them together, and the news presenters’ voices brought nothing but sad stories to the table. Chanyeol didn’t need others when he had his own confusing one to deal with.

But what bothered him the most was not knowing why it bothered him that much in the first place. Why the day had started with a warm sun that burnt their skins and had ended with a cold night that froze them.

He had lost his appetite completely after half an hour of being with Baekhyun and his pretty classmate.

Chanyeol had heard her name when she arrived at their apartment a few hours ago and had absentmindedly waved at him before disappearing from sight, but he had paid more attention to how close she seemed to be with his friend and how touchy she was with him even in front of a complete stranger.

It didn’t take long until he heard her laugh coming from Baekhyun’s room. He didn’t wait to hear Baekhyun’s before leaving the quiet living room.

Earlier that week, Baekhyun had told Chanyeol how well he was doing on uni this semester and how most of his classmates had asked him to teach them during his free time, to what Chanyeol had reacted to with honest happiness along with a bit of concern.

“But Baek, are you sure it won’t tire you up if you spend all of your free time teaching everybody? What if it affects your grades and your health?”

The shorter had put down the book he was reading to go to sit by Chanyeol’s side on the couch.

“I thought of that too, that’s why I decided to teach the whole class at the same time once a week. By doing that, I’ll guide my classmates without having to stay away for too long.”

Of course, Baekhyun would offer his help if he had the chance to, so instead of insisting on the possible disadvantages for him, Chanyeol dropped the topic and trusted his roommate on his decision.

That’s why when Baekhyun informed him someone was coming on that afternoon three days later, Chanyeol asked himself if he had misunderstood the other day’s talk.

Baekhyun hadn’t told him the person who was coming would be the flirting girl he was now being forced to eat with to be a polite host, however. Not like there was anyone to blame for his good conscience other than himself.

It should be funny to see how dense Baekhyun could be to his classmate’s feelings when the cute woman did nothing but giggle at the other’s words, or lack of them rather. But it wasn’t.

And what could be so funny to her to smile so much to begging with? Wasn’t she even aware of the eyes that were tracing her profile from the lonely seat at the other side, wishing for her to stop talking and to direct all of her energy to the food she was supposed to be chewing?

All that nonsense sentences thrown into the air were hurting his ears. Looking at Baekhyun with no reaction to that teasing was making his inside hurt too.

Why couldn’t he do anything?

Why couldn’t he just tell her to stop?

“Chanyeol? Do you perhaps want another slide?”

His eyes had left the feminine’s profile in an instant to stare at the person whose name was ringing in his head.

Baekhyun’s expression had finally changed.

Having no strength in his body to stay to witness that silly game anymore, Chanyeol excused himself with the first explanation his mind could come with, wishing them a no-so-heartedly evening before rushing to his bedroom.

Once he had brushed his teeth and had hidden under his sheets, he thought that couldn’t have gone worse even if he tried.

A part of him knew his dramatics didn’t make much sense, but the other part told him there should be something important behind his anger, and he wasn’t sure whether he wanted to understand why or not.

Some time happened, and Chanyeol’s shamefulness for his previous behavior only increased, but it would be even worse if he went back to the couple and apologized. Because what would he tell them? I’m sorry for being a pain in the ass when I don’t even know why I’m mad?

It could be better if he pretended like nothing of that had happened for the night, and he just called it a day and fell asleep. Maybe that way he would forget about the ache he felt in his heart and the sense of hopelessness he couldn’t wash away in the dark.

He wanted to sleep so much, and yet it wasn’t working. Nothing was working, and he hated to be thinking of that girl’s intentions with Baekhyun and if they were still eating the pizza Chanyeol and he always brought for their movie night. The ones that couldn’t end without Baekhyun blinking hard so Chanyeol wouldn’t notice he was tearing up at another sappy film, and the ones Chanyeol faked ignorance to his friend’s obvious emotions so he wouldn’t feel embarrassed.

Realizing he wouldn’t get to sleep any soon, he decided to keep his eyes closed until his dreams came to meet him at some point. And so he did. At least now he entertained his mind with old memories of him with his family, his friends and…

He sighed, exhausted.

Chanyeol never knew how many of his memories involved his roommate until this night. He just never questioned his devotion for his little friend to understand where those feelings for him came from, or what their significance was.

Why did it matter so much?

One by one, the images of his past began abandoning him, just as his conscience began to do too. All of the confusion felt before was disappearing and giving place to his so desired rest, but he should have known better.

Chanyeol was never the type to get what he wanted so easily. So when he hadn’t been hearing nor seeing any type of external stimuli for quite some time, it didn’t surprise him to suddenly have his good sense of audition back.

Someone had opened his door and was doing a pretty good job of going unnoticed.

Remaining as quiet and still as possible, he pretended to be asleep in case that could save him for what was about to come. Not that he knew what that meant either.

It was that someone who had walked through his room so quietly that Chanyeol had barely heard him, and who he could feel standing beside him for a second, maybe analyzing what their next step would be just like him, before sitting on the empty space left on the bed.

Of course he knew who that someone was. He didn’t think a guess would take liberties in coming in without knocking, to say the least.

Ringing like a clock, his heartbeat counted the seconds passing by as the two kept silent, ignoring the other’s presence as a choice to prolong the peacefulness of the present.

The idea of coming clean about his acting so he could behold the shadow that caused his discomfort was tempting, but it would have been useless, for the night was a master in hiding everything for the naked eye.

But as if Chanyeol’s thoughts were taken into consideration, the tranquility that had settled down in the room was broken when who felt like a ghost turned back into a living person who had taken a liking to comb his hair in any occasion.

Falling asleep right now was out of the question.

When he opened his eyes, there wasn’t much he could spot around him with only the moonlight at his service. And he didn’t need to. Chanyeol was only looking for Baekhyun.

And although he wasn’t faced with the clear image of the man, it was the perfume he inhaled every time Baekhyun made him coffee in the mornings that confirmed what was evident from the start.

He sat straight, immediately noticing the small distance between his body and Baekhyun’s. Even in the dark, that smile was brighter than the moon outside.

_“I wasn’t given the opportunity to say goodnight back, did I?”_

It had come out as a whisper that could be heard by Chanyeol only due to their proximity, but the warmness his body irradiated said more than what any voice could do. It was overwhelming.

What Chanyeol felt was overwhelming.

Did moths felt this way as they flew straight into the light? He saw himself in front of the sun, and he could think of nothing but of stretching his arms to reach for that heat, even when that journey could be blinding and painful.

Chanyeol thought his dreams might have found him somewhere between his defensive façade and the darkness under his eyelids because nothing of this did have any sense, and while one moment he floated through the summertime, the other he sank into the deep water, abused by the heavy rain messing with his head.

His eyes got blurry, and the air escaped him, and he felt so, so scared until someone reached for him, and the seasons stopped changing at once.

The truth is Chanyeol was too shocked to reach back yet.

_“I can’t fathom what the source of your emotional upset is, but I would lend you my ears if you would need them.”_

Chanyeol didn’t understand where his inner turmoil was coming from, but he knew so well that was what Baekhyun would say. Not to cheer him up, but to show he cared in his own, good-natured way.

So he hugged him back, breathing in his scent as he forgot what feeling lost felt like. Putting his arms around his waist, Chanyeol hid his face on Baekhyun’s neck, who in return rested his chin over the black crown of hair. Strangely, they fit perfectly in each other’s arms.

Strangely, Chanyeol’s stomach ache ceased and was replaced instead by invisible piano keys playing a sweet song as he held Baekhyun. Everything he was thinking of before was now forgotten, and the only thought left was what that flame of hope growing inside of him could be.

As if the hard sun of the daily hours had risen to the sky for a once-in-a-lifetime exception, his skin became warmer and sensitive to Baekhyun’s touch, and every part of him chased him for his silent yet honest affection.

If Chanyeol lingered on their embrace for a little longer, then maybe he would stop longing for that unknown feeling and would live in that safe state forever.

But dreams were never meant to last forever, so he forced himself to wake up.

Chanyeol pulled away, though not quite. He just needed to catch some air again.

Thanks to the curtain allowing the brightness from the outside world to swim into the room, he saw the reason for his anxiety gazing at him, studying him just like Chanyeol was doing with him.

In all the years Chanyeol and Baekhyun had spent together, this was the first time the two had given themselves the time to sit down beside each other to just enjoy the other’s company without the pressure of filling the silence or adding an unnecessary comment for the sake of camouflaging something left unsaid that grew bigger and bigger and took shape with every passing day.

Chanyeol wouldn’t have needed a mirror to know he was grinning while looking at Baekhyun; he could see his own happiness in the reflection of his eyes. On the contrary, his friend was lost in contemplation.

Did Baekhyun know by now what Chanyeol had tried so hard to understand all of those years?

When the sign of a frown threatened to appear on the cute face, Chanyeol lent him his hand without being asked, caressing his cheek to keep that look of wonder for enough time for his mind to save it.

In all his puzzling reverie, he still happened to caught Baekhyun’s glance lowering.

At the moment that he registered what he was looking at was, Chanyeol swallowed.

_“Baekhyun?”_

He regretted mumbling his name the second he let his mouth speak before his brain because that seemed to snap Baekhyun out of it, making him aware of who they were, and taking him away from the man who thought was about to grasp the truth of his universe.

Baekhyun stood up and turned to his back, stepping out of the reach of the dim light, as if he had taken it away with him.

_“I…,”_ the voice said softly from a longer distance._ “I left some pills on your night table. Have a good night, Chanyeol.”_

Watching him go, Chanyeol doubted he could.

How could he when the chuckles didn’t stop coming at every thought of Baekhyun staring at his lips?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again! It's me again, coming back after more than 2 months I think... Yes. Life's been hard  
Also, this is the longest chapter I've ever written and I'm really happy about that. I hope you're all healthy and safe wherever you are, and please enjoy this chapter a lot. Thank you again for reading this and for leaving any kind of feedback, I appreciate it a lot <3 THANK YOU SO MUCH  
Have a nice day and I'd love to read your thoughts on the chapter  
Before I go, I wanted to say that we're reaching the end and that there're 3 more chapters left to finish the story, so thank you for following this journey, I've had a really good time writing this. See you soon!


	8. When suddenly I saw you

For a wannabe photographer, moving around the city with a hanging camera and looking for the perfect landscape in the ordinary daily life was a must. For any other person with no interest in taking a shot of the world, spotting a couple of boys taking a stroll through an empty street as the sun went down could not really mean a big opportunity to capture the essence of a lazy afternoon represented in two young adults, but one could never know.

Through the eyes of one of the protagonists inside of the imaginary postal, the scene met all the criteria to hang the moment on a pretty wall, next to all the others he’d saved inside his mind for years.

Jumping from one skyscraper’s shadow to another, the walk under the last wave of the heat of the day became more bearable, with all the warm colors turning into a late wind that blew the sticky sweat away.

People in uniforms were all the city was made of at that hour, and nobody seemed to care whether they wore the newest brands or not. Kids and teens, and everyone except the elderly, were making their way back home, leaving the stressing productivity behind until the next day asked them to return for it.

Taking a shortcut would have been easy considering how well both men knew those passages, but it would have also taken away the fun of recognizing their younger selves wandering through them with fewer birthdays’ celebrations on their memories.

Chanyeol and Baekhyun swam against a hundred of tired eyes for a while, until the streets were left with no one but they again, giving the pair a few more minutes to enjoy the peace the scenery offered before they reached the place they had been looking for about fifteen minutes.

With only the sound of some occasional heels pounding the pavement every once in a while, the trip to the building they spent their youths in took the form of an evocative journey. There was no need in using a compass to guide them to their old school when they had unconsciously engraved the road in their minds.

Everything had been planned in anticipation by the two groups of friends from high school a few days ago. Unexpectedly, Baekhyun had been the person behind the idea.

“Don’t you think it romantic to spend our spare time visiting those rooms again?”

The answer for Chanyeol was clear, but he didn’t want to disappoint the blond after seeing his impatient legs following him wherever he moved.

“I don’t know, Baek. The boys might be too busy to go with us on a tour,” he said as he swept the floor the other didn’t stand on.

_“With us?_ Does that mean you desire to go too?”

Putting the broom aside, Chanyeol took a look at Baekhyun for a second. It was always a pleasant surprise to catch his wide grin every time he set up his mind on a new goal, and seeing him fight for what he wanted was Chanyeol’s weak point when it came to choosing between joining him on his tomfooleries or not.

“Ok, but I won’t be in charge of convincing them. You better start thinking of some good reasons for some uni students to drop their free time for this.”

The clumsy hug he received then had been his reward for agreeing on something he didn’t really care much about.

But when they arrived at a school gate that showed no sign of the presence of people at its other side, Chanyeol’s interest picked up thanks to his developed imagination.

It hadn’t been long since the last time they had been inside the school, maybe a year or a bit less, yet he swore it felt longer. And it was normal, with all the events that had come after their graduation.

People who closed that chapter of their lives didn’t even have time to process its significance when a new one was already starting, pushing them to continue growing because life could never stop, and the only certain thing was that change would always be waiting by the end of each page.

Chanyeol pictured himself picking up his book to add a few more pages when he tried to remember the other night’s episode without blushing. He didn’t know what kind of story would be written on those papers, but he hoped to be the one creating his own fate, whatever that came to be.

Standing beside each other without the company of anyone else, the current atmosphere around them wasn’t easy to describe, with a mix of opposite emotions colliding in the middle of their relationship as both checked their watches for the nth time.

They were sure their friends wouldn’t have forgotten the address of the place they had gone to for so many years, so what could be the reason for the delay?

Were they playing a prank on the roommates?

Just as Chanyeol was searching Junmyeon’s name on his contacts list, the latter appeared walking down the streets with three other men by his side, who chased the shortest of them all as he led the way.

It was strange how their arrival made Chanyeol feel both thankful and discouraged for interrupting a moment alone with Baekhyun, considering how many of them they shared every day and how little chances he had to see his old friends now everyone had chosen their own path.

Ashamed by his thoughtlessness, he lifted every single one of them as the group faked some sweet greetings, with a screaming Jongdae that struggled to get out of his embrace and a smiling Minseok that looked as though being squeezed inside his arms couldn’t be more fun.

Kyungsoo was the first to touch the ground again, adjusting his shirt after punching the tallest so he would put him down.

When the group was done with hugging Baekhyun and complimenting his dyed hair, they moved to the closed door. A few affectionate exchanges with the doorman who remembered them well later and the six boys ambled through the almost empty halls they used to fill in before.

They would have been naïve to think their eyes would fall upon a completely different place when barely a generation had passed through those hallways for one last time before never coming back, but that was exactly what Chanyeol was waiting to see.

Instead, he was met with the same dirty floors after the end of the last lesson getting cleaned by the same janitors who had seen them grown into the men they were today. He could never forget how most of those faces had wiped his tears away whenever he faced a problem and had offered their help when the world felt too big for a kid without asking for anything in return.

Now that they were adults, showing their true gratitude was the less they could do. As they waved them goodbye so they could keep hanging around those corridors of time, Chanyeol let the thought of their new stage in life to sink in.

They were adults now. That was extremely exciting and scary at the same time.

However, the six men would always be viewed as the children they had once been by the workers of the school, and that was the reason why no one was against them having free access to the desolated classrooms.

Baekhyun was the happiest with their own version of an urban exploration.

“Have I ever mentioned the thrill I get by imagining the types of scenarios we could find behind those secret doors?” he asked while he moved closer to Chanyeol, who watched the former shivered for what he perceived as an upcoming adventure.

He just chuckled, not feeling like sharing what was going on inside his mind, or his heart. That big of a mess was still too fresh to make any sense from it for now.

Using the many keys in their possession, the closed doors opened to let them walk in with all confidence. The desks, the boards, and the plain and handmade calendars were just as they could remember.

Everything they had left behind looked still the same, with the only notorious difference being whose names claimed the use of those things.

From the written dates of the exams they couldn’t even remember the contents of, to the initials they had carved under the teacher’s table on one of the last days of their last school year, which had been replaced by the ones whose stay at school was also coming to an end sooner than what everyone ever expected; nothing that had once been theirs remained untouched anymore.

Knowing what they had left in the past was one thing, but going back somewhere they only now realized to always think of as a second home was a hard task.

He couldn’t describe what it felt like to be there. Maybe there just wasn’t a simple emotion that gave away the strong nostalgia Chanyeol experienced that day. Looking to his sides, he knew he wasn’t the only one feeling that way.

By the time the boys had made their way through the majority of the rooms there were to inspect, the sun had disappeared completely from the sky. There was only one room left to check, and that was the one in front of the bathrooms, by the very end of the educational institution.

When Chanyeol was younger, he would always fear going down the stairs that led him to that forgotten piece of a place that looked as though it hadn’t been used in ages, but as he grew older, and the decision of choosing between the music and the art elective came, his fantasies and early nightmares surrounding those four walls died down.

Opting for a music class had been one of the best decisions of his school life because that crumbling room would always be filled with laughs and stress-relieving activities. Most importantly, the class felt like a meeting with his friends where the only thing that truly mattered was to have a good time.

Turning around to glance at the stairs before walking in, Chanyeol saw his past self sitting on the steps with a younger version of Baekhyun on the day they had really talked for the first time. The old image was interrupted when his real friend took him by the shoulders and dragged him into the room.

The lights on the ceiling weren’t turned on until the whole group was inside.

“Whoa, look at that! Is the piano still working?”

“It’s not like we were the last one to use it, Jongdae,” Minseok uttered in a singsong voice, what made Junmyeon snort.

Kyungsoo was quick to clean up the board. “Do you remember this?”

Although the question hadn’t been directed at anyone in particular, Chanyeol and Junmyeon didn’t need him to call their names. They were next to the windows in a second, careful not to touch any cobweb with its spiders inhabiting the dusty curtains.

Tidying up the classrooms was a routine he thought they would have got rid of by now, but old habits die hard, and taking a liking to it was only to be expected.

With an arm around Chanyeol’s shoulder and pulling Kyungsoo by the wrist to bring him closer, Junmyeon sighed. “I’ve missed this so much.”

“Me too,” muttered the last one to join the trio, eyeing what was at the other side of the window.

Even from such an old cavern with artificial light, the stars were easy to spot through the dirty glass. With a clear sky, the night had come again to visit them, but its darkness did not represent any danger as it was usual.

This time, the night felt more like a new morning, where the birds were distant stars floating with the rising wind, and the sun gave the moon the chance to put everyone in a good mood.

When Chanyeol’s eyes focused out of the crystal and fell on his own reflection, he caught the view his position was preventing him to appreciate.

As if on automatic mode, he broke out of the light embrace to shuffle to the other end of the room, where an interesting situation was going on.

It hadn’t been his intention to make everyone but one person to look at him walking like a zombie, nor had it been to create a show that everyone had been waiting to witness, but Chanyeol didn’t know any of this because he only had eyes for the man sitting in front of the piano, oblivious to the whole world as he had always been.

Chanyeol stood up behind Baekhyun in silence until the latter looked up and caught him staring.

“I-I’m just waiting for the piano man to sing a song for us.”

Baekhyun didn’t look impressed, but he still moved aside without saying anything, leaving an empty space on the black duet bench. Chanyeol sat next to him over the cold seat without thinking about it twice.

And then, the black and white keys were put into use slowly, with tender fingers making a song as old as the played instrument come alive for the eternity of a three minutes track.

Even though there was no voice accompanying the sweet melody this time, he didn’t fail to recognize the notes in an instant. Baekhyun was playing the same jazz song he had played in front of the class a few years ago, stealing all of Chanyeol’s words just the same as before.

At that time, he had asked himself what were girls and boys compared to the soul inside the mystery at their front. Tonight, however, he could only wonder how a crowd full of strangers had been too blind to notice there had never been any mystery to solve.

It had always been exposed to their eyes, so purely _real_ that it scared him at first.

Chanyeol felt it when he stopped hearing the music; his days as a stranger were finally coming to an end.

He was waiting for Baekhyun to raise his face to see what kind of expression he could have right now.

“We need to go back to the chemistry lab!”

But of course, Kyungsoo would force his head to get out of the clouds just then.

Minseok gave the boy a look. “But that’s on the other side of the school. Why would you want us to go there–”

“We should go with him,” Junmyeon said while walking to the door and taking Jongdae with him. “That way we’ll find his phone quickly. You two can stay here until we come back.”

The four boys exchanged a look with each other while Chanyeol and Baekhyun judged them from afar, looking for any logical explanation that didn’t seem to exist.

“But Chanyeol and I don’t mind going too. In reality, I can’t fathom any reason to stay when we could also help–”

_“No!”_ shouted the rest of the voices in unison coming from under the door frame.

After Jongdae claimed to consider Baekhyun’s tendency to get cold in the decision, the pair were left alone before they could have a word on the matter.

Without the presence of their friends, the silence settled with no inconvenience, and the sheltering night fell on them as if it had been waiting for that instance all along, though not without bringing enough self-awareness to make them understand how close they were to each other.

They were back to their feet in the blink of an eye.

After getting over their blushes for the better, both slid their hands through a variety of surfaces, taking their time to search for the recollections hiding underneath the hardness of every object, knowing the sentimental value lay deep beneath the superficial layers, and that they would have to dig to reach it.

Debating with himself for a while for the options at hand about what to do next, the taller ran his eyes over the chamber, looking for any source of entertainment to keep themselves busy with until the group came to pick them up. If he remembered well, the grimy cabinet placed next to the left door saved the students’ flutes and tambourines for the whole year. He came back with two of the persecution instruments before the blond could protest.

“What about having our own concert with these?” Chanyeol asked as he gave one to Baekhyun, who shook it a few times in the air.

“It seems to me that the first people to walk through that door will be the police officers called by the school authorities instead of the ones we are waiting for.”

The second alternative was discarded as well as soon as the thought of sharing saliva with other students hit them. There had to be some better choices around them.

It was only when Chanyeol caught the sight of two trembling shoulders making the effort to stay still that he made up his mind. He should have listened to Jongdae from the beginning.

“Dancing will do.”

Nothing but silence followed.

“Pardon?”

Chanyeol was quick to shorten the distance again.

“Do you like dancing?”

There was shyness adorning Baekhyun’s face, and it wasn’t hard to see he was having a hard time deciding what to answer.

It wasn’t his intention to embarrass anyone with their proficiency in certain abilities or lack of them at that, so he tried to be as clear as possible.

“You don’t have to be good at it. Fuck, I’m not even good at it either, so let’s just…” he said in a hush before pausing when hearing the chuckle resonating in the room.

By the time he was looking at Baekhyun again, the latter had already gained his composure back, pretending to stretch in place to then set aside some of the desks in the center.

“Would you be so kind to show me the right moves then?”

Instead of making him nervous, the unexpected reply filled his body with too much energy that he had to caress his cheeks so a smile wouldn’t appear.

“Say no more.”

Once there was more space in the middle to move their feet, Chanyeol took out his phone and turned up the volume when the song he was looking for showed on the screen.

According to Baekhyun’s reaction, the boy had no clue of what they were listening to, regardless of how much local radios seemed to love it. He, on the other side, knew the beat by heart and wasn’t planning on wasting their time looking for a new one.

It all happened so quickly that the rookie piano player had no chance to refuse to the untold invitation; one second the two were standing awkwardly while the sound resonated through the confidant walls, and the next one they were grooving to the tune as neither did a good job.

They both were in fact so bad that keeping a straight face became impossible for them, and after a minute or so of some unsynchronized legs chasing the rhythm with two pairs of uncoordinated arms, the two men stopped caring about their ungraceful movements and decided to lose themselves in the music.

Spinning around and bumping into the tables they had sworn to let out of their way, they continued partying with no shame as the night grew quieter and quieter so the noisy phone could fill in the silence.

It didn’t matter how many times his elbows and knees came in contact with something new in those frantic minutes; he just couldn’t bring himself to stop smiling at the man who giggled in between laughs.

And then there was only coughing sounds and confusion for a moment before a new tune came in and brought up a giddy feeling to his tummy on the way.

Listening to a playlist on random mode had started with an upbeat tempo and had ended up with an old, slow song, which was sweet, and it was low. And it was more than enough to let their eyes wander through their facial features with no hurry but full of wonder.

Chanyeol took a step forward as Baekhyun’s shoe soles grew roots to the ground. He only stared back at the former walking towards him until he met him in the middle of the circle and stretched him a hand to take.

A stretching hand neither had accepted before because of different reasons.

With the pretty image in front, Chanyeol gulped, wondering if that would change tonight too.

_“May I have the next dance, Mr. Baekhyun?”_

He had been expecting to be laughed at openly, unusually cursed at even, and yet that never happened. The blank expression he was given wasn’t supposed to happen, therefore he insisted on the clown role instead, looking for ways to steal those nice sounds coming from the other’s mouth at the cheap price that was hurting his own ego.

But Baekhyun kept staring, speechless.

“You didn’t think making me watch Pride and Prejudice once every two weeks would have its advantages? I have some good news for you, then.”

When Baekhyun finally made a move, Chanyeol felt thankful to see him at least lowering his head, even though he didn’t know what that meant. He had started thinking the man had been pulled under a spell invisible to his eyes.

The solid roots that were tying Baekhyun’s shoes lost their grip with every step he took to the person waiting for him, until they didn’t hold him anymore, setting him free to his own will. Now nothing was stopping him from taking the lifted hand in his.

As if in the spotlight of a silent film, everything but them fell apart in that second, and Chanyeol could scarcely register what was said when his chest was caressed with some smiling eyes and his fingers were entwined with some colder ones.

_“You may.”_

Were those fingers responsible for his shortness of air? Were they the ones squeezing his heart like that?

Incapable of taking his eyes off the sparkling ones, Chanyeol placed his free hand on his dancing partner’s waist, and somehow fingers as cold as the ones before found its place over his shoulder, earning him a shaky breath instantly.

Thinking and dancing at the same time was harder than what he had thought when watching those 80’s cliché romances portrayed on big TVs, but what did actors know about dancing with a close friend anyway? They probably only thought of how long it would take to record another sappy scene before the next one came.

But he was no actor, and he couldn’t fake the goosebumps he felt when his skin brushed against Baekhyun’s. He couldn’t when he watched him from above, and the only thing he could think of as Baekhyun rested his forehead on his burning neck was of how nice the smaller felt in his arms, and how easy it felt to understand what happiness was like right now.

Chanyeol had long stopped hearing the music when he began leading the way.

Even without seeing it, the smile pressed against his covered chest made him stumble once or twice before recovering and clearing his throat.

“How come we never danced before?” Chanyeol thought at loud, getting anxious when feeling Baekhyun becoming stiff.

Thankfully for his nerves, he soon relaxed again under his hold.

“That could not have been possible at first.”

That made him laugh a little because now that Baekhyun mentioned it, he remembered the two didn’t have an, to put it in a way, ideal start.

“And that was just my fault.”

Their movements slowed down when the music did too, allowing them to forget about keeping their balance so their confessions could be set free from the isolation in their minds.

Giving a step back as to leave some space between them both, Chanyeol tried his best to hold his friend’s gaze on him. Then maybe he would take his words seriously when seeing him taking accountability for his past actions without backing up.

“I was such an asshole with you back then, and I never really apologized properly,” he said before taking a long breath. “What I want to say is … you did not deserve to put up with my insecurity, and I’m genuinely sorry for that, Baek.”

Baekhyun didn’t let him continue, pulling him closer again and snuggling against the beginning of his neck so the other’s next words would keep locked inside of his throat.

“I long forgave you and your indecipherable mind, and yet...”

Chanyeol caught sight of the appearance of some tears before they were gone, blocked by the turning of a head.

“Now your mouth has matched your change of behavior, and you have nothing left to prove your worth. Don’t let your guilt ruin your present anymore.”

He nodded weakly, careful not to hit and harm the same person a second time, and thinking of said present with hope.

“Wouldn’t you prefer to talk about the good things? How about all those times you stick up for me when I was yet to learn how to do it myself? That builds up character, you must know.”

“Oh, so you’re saying I took part in your character development? I never knew I would have such a pleasure in my life.”

“You sure take yourself for granted, Chanyeol. You always have.”

He didn’t know when the two had ceased swinging back and forth and had remained stuck to the floor in the same position that before.

“But…I could never do that. You’re more important to me than what you probably think you are. I wish you knew that.”

The tears he had seen a minute ago had suddenly traveled up to his eyes with Baekhyun’s revelation, and still, no attempt of keeping them as a secret was done. He just crossed his fingers so they wouldn’t fall when the smaller decided to give him his attention.

Chanyeol left a kiss on the bright crown of hair. “That makes two of us.”

But if he planned on being unnoticed, then what was he doing?

It wasn’t the first time he had surprised himself with his own little gestures for him, but the astonishment escaping from Baekhyun’s face had never awoken this desire to materialize his indescribable craving this way. Not when his heartbeat whispered in his ear the tender truth he had turned away from for hundreds of lonely nights.

That he didn’t have to run away from the truth he deep down knew anymore.

Slowly, Baekhyun removed himself from the comfortable support of Chanyeol’s torso, and delicately placing his hands on both sides of the inviting neck, he tilted his head, inevitably making Chanyeol do it too.

Although a smile was drawn on Baekhyun’s lips, it did never reach his eyes.

“What a gift it would be if we meant the same thing.”

And although Chanyeol couldn’t decipher if one’s truth could be identical to another one, he didn’t fight the feeling of taking the matter on his hands instead of making sense of it by prolonging the conversation.

Baekhyun’s teary eyes were tugging at his heartstrings, and the only thing he could do was to comfort him with a kiss on his forehead.

It only lasted for a few seconds, but the reaction he was faced with afterward was the contrary of what he had wished for.

If he had known he would make Baekhyun cry that night, he would have never accepted to be left alone with him.

“I’m not supposed to… I have to deal with this on my own, so …” he muttered, pushing himself away from Chanyeol’s grip, who was not prepared to react in time.

“Baek? What’s… let me understand what’s happening, please,” he begged as he strived to make the other to look at him, but Baekhyun was determined to give him his back.

And Chanyeol’s fears of hurting Baekhyun again became true, only that this time, he didn’t know what he had done.

And if he didn’t know, then how was he supposed to amend his wrongs?

He felt suffocated, watching the person he secretly devoted to protecting suffering and not being able to help.

“Was it something I…” he began asking as if seeing Baekhyun trying to hide the fact that he was tearing up didn’t hurt him too. “Should we… should we go home now? Let’s get out of here. We’ll explain to them later.”

Baekhyun shook his head after a moment of tension, and Chanyeol felt as if an arrow had wounded his chest.

Even when Baekhyun turned back to him with the attempt of a smile, he made sure to keep a distance from him. And it felt so much wider than before.

“Baekhyun, let’s go home and–”

_“I’m just,”_ he whispered with a broken voice before sighing as though a heavy burden once lifted from his shoulders had been thrown at him again, _“So, so tired. Sometimes I can fool myself, but…”_

During the whole time Chanyeol witnessed Baekhyun’s composed persona fallen down to pieces, he started to become aware of how much it affected him to see his kind-hearted friend breaking down.

To see the man who had started as an annoying enemy, which had soon developed into a quirky acquaintance, and had eventually become one of his closest friends in his life battling with an invisible demon Chanyeol had never been aware of, was probably the missing piece he had always needed to sort out the emotional puzzle of his own heart.

Because when the door of the room was opened with a histrionic kick and the group of men that abandoned them half an hour before came with a million of questions drawn on their faces, Chanyeol couldn’t focus on anything but on Baekhyun and the way he dropped the fake smile as soon as he must have thought he wouldn’t see him.

Not even the dramatics of the scene could make him laugh at the sudden intervention. Chanyeol’s only wish was to hold Baekhyun back again.

Not Minseok, who was messing the blonde’s hair with worry disguised as a playful habit, and not Jongdae, who rubbed the chin he would like to be touching instead.

It was how unfair it felt to see other people in the position he was dying to be in, the jealousy he couldn’t deny any longer every time a new person was brought up into his roommate’s life what gave it away.

Baekhyun had stopped being a friend at some point and had become so much more.

Baekhyun had always been so much more, and he was just realizing now.

“I know we should have told you earlier, but Baekhyun’s staying with us tonight,” one of his friends informed, although he didn’t know which one as he kept staring at the same man.

“But Baek never said anything about leaving with you after this.”

“Chanyeol,” Junmyeon said as he grabbed him by the shoulder just when he was about to approach the trio. “It’s just for the night. Let your friend enjoy his time with his other friends too.”

He could see what Junmyeon was doing, lighting up the mood with his usual chivalry, and he couldn’t blame him for taking action before he could act silly.

It was probably for the better, his mind told him. It still didn’t help to tame his rage, nonetheless.

Taking one last look at the wet eyelashes, he skimmed the outside view, now covered in thick blackness.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then, I guess.” Noticing his harsh tone, he scolded himself mentally before spilling what he really wanted to say. “Take care of him for tonight.”

He hoped the pair had got what he implied at catching their free-of-judgment staring. And he hoped the delaying glance from the person in the middle meant he had understood too.

There was no intention of reprehending anyone. There was only worry and guilt eating him alive.

Before half of the group left, Chanyeol drowned his tempestuous emotions deep inside his guts and gave Baekhyun a complicit nod, one that was answered in the same manner before fading from the site.

The closing door was the last sound he heard for a while.

“Chanyeol?” a voice questioned from behind. “Let’s get these back in place so we can go, ok?”

Still looking at the door, he nodded for a second time at someone who wasn’t there anymore before joining Junmyeon and Kyungsoo.

Tidying up was never as fun as messing up their surroundings. Who would have thought, then, that all those magazines’ tips on keeping a clean place would actually be right about helping you ordering your ideas as well?

When the light went off and the door was locked, Chanyeol knew the anger had left his body.

“I didn’t think we’d be inside for so long. They must be wondering what’s taking us so much time.”

“Do you think they could be suspecting we had our secret motives to come here?”

“What? No, Kyungsoo, that was not what I was… _Chanyeol?”_

Shit, what was they were talking about just now?

He knew he was getting tired of being left out when the pair looked at each other before sitting in silence on the floor, waiting for him to join them.

“Is this one of your old class president’s activities to improve our communication? I’d like to pass this time,” he said as he waved them off.

Kyungsoo pulled him down by his hand just when the other man on the floor raised his hand politely.

None of the three spoke for a minute. They only stared at their faces, taking in the chill breeze engulfing them. They probably had a few more minutes before someone would come for them, but Chanyeol couldn’t leave before speaking up his mind.

Not when some overwhelming butterflies played on his inside.

“Care to explain what’s that face for?”

Kyungsoo’s words made Chanyeol snap out of it, or more precisely, it had been the friendly tone he had used to call him out for his sudden tantrum back then.

He could tell they were both worried about him, and that made him feel worse.

The only thing he had accomplished that day was hurting everyone’s’ feelings, and the night wasn’t even over yet.

“Hey.”

Once again, he looked up from his lap, afraid to meet harsh eyes condemning his actions. Instead, he only met Junmyeon’s eyes comforting him with an unspoken understanding.

“We don’t want you to feel obliged to tell us what’s bothering you,” he said casually as if he didn’t comprehend how big of a deal this was for the taller. “But,” he continued after finding pleasure in glancing at the ceiling of constellations above, “if it’s okay with you, we’ll be happy to help a friend.”

Without warning, a hand came to squeeze his forearm for a moment before stopping to hold it lightly.

Even when lost in thought, Kyungsoo was smiling brightly. “Always.”

There was nothing new in what he had been told now, nothing he hadn’t known before, and yet, hearing those words was probably the only thing he needed to feel at peace with himself. To have people by his side reassuring him that, no matter how weird and how lame he could feel, they would always support him at the end of the day was a blessing in a selfish world.

As he embraced his legs and rested his head over them, Chanyeol saw dozens of images passing by, abandoning him when their job of reminding him what a great life he had had was complete, dancing away to the join the distant lights.

His heartbeat continued increasing painfully, but he was sure now.

He was ready to share his truth at loud.

“I think I’ve been wrong about Baekhyun this whole time.”

A shaky sigh escaped from his lips, but his friends’ gesture of waiting for what he had to say next without interrupting him encouraged him to be bold.

“I think I’ve been misunderstanding him from the beginning, but it was only recently that I’ve … well, that I’ve come to realize that not only have I misunderstood him as a person but that I’ve also been wrong about our … _relationship.”_

Now that he had opened up his mouth for good, he didn’t think himself capable of biting his tongue any longer.

“And I –I’ve been thinking, you know, how did Baekhyun manage to enter into my life in such an awful way, only to, well, only to … fill it with his presence every single second?”

His hands had started sweating so much at this point, but he couldn’t care less. And he couldn’t care less about what he was saying anymore, whether it was right to be this open or not, because right now, Chanyeol only cared about finishing what he had started, and doing it before he could regret it.

“I thought I’d just grown fond of him and his unique personality when we moved in together, having the chance to see a different side of him every day, but if I’m completely honest, I … I think I…”

His throat was so dry that he had troubled finishing his sentence, remaining in silence for a moment.

_“You think this started way before he moved in with you?”_ the big-eyed man at his right muttered slowly, making Chanyeol turn to him.

Swallowing down his anxiety and looking down at his hands, he nodded.

“Way before. But I was too scared to even think about it.”

Strangely, admitting what had been troubling his mind for many, many years hadn’t made him feel like a weirdo. It had only served as a way to make peace with himself as he always craved before.

At that moment, Chanyeol learned that there was heroism in being honest despite your fears, and there was freedom in being honest with oneself.

“So what did you conclude from all of these revelations?”

At that moment, there was only one thing clear to him. It was a fact he no longer feared to accept.

_“I’m in love with Baekhyun.”_

Clapping sounds followed the statement, ruining the serenity that had settled on a night stained in realizations.

“You’ve come a long way, you know?”

\---

The sound of an over-used whistle fell on the open field, changing the course of lazy feet in a second. On that foggy day, two colorful teams met in the center circle for a minute before jogging towards their corresponding areas.

Warming up on such a gloomy afternoon seemed just right, Chanyeol thought from the tribune as he held an ice pack against his reddened temple. It was a pity he had to watch the game from afar because someone couldn’t wait to kick the ball until the game started and had chosen to do it at the exact moment Chanyeol approached him with a question.

Ms. Sejeong spared a glance at her watch before distancing herself from the players. “Everybody’s ready?”

The answer came in high-pitched screams, and soon after, the teacher’s whistle made a second appearance.

Manspreading had never been a thing for Chanyeol if he recalled correctly. He had always been the type to sit with his legs closed, finding security in keeping them that way. But things were different today.

As the students ran behind the black and white sphere, he couldn’t do much but to follow their movements with a sulking face, leaning into the people at the other side unconsciously. If only he hadn’t been hit in his head before the game started, he could be chasing that stupid plastic object too.

Perhaps inspired by the blue and red bibs flying around the artificial grass, the gray clouds walked at an equal speed. Chanyeol had to cross his arms to preserve the small amount of heat his early breakfast had given him, a heat that threatened to evaporate from his body just by looking at the already sweaty necks.

Fortunately for him and his boredom, it only took about five minutes for the class to run out of stamina, leaving a few brave soldiers standing while the rest pretended to listen to the coach’s commands. When ten or so minutes had happened since the ball started moving, the excluded teen revalued his luck because watching a group of slothful was even worse than stepping outside of the football pitch.

“Minyoung? Why are you marking one of your teammates? Did all of you become colorblind when I blinked?”

Not even the frustration radiating from the woman could reach the demotivated crowd, who persisted in ignoring her pleads of collaboration.

With too much time on his hands, Chanyeol decided to run his eyes through the familiar faces, starting by glaring at the dumb boy with a smirk that showed no remorse for hurting his precious skin. Knowing hate and revenge would do him no good, he dropped the sinful thoughts to continue observing the tired group.

Without putting much effort into the task, he quickly stopped glancing around when catching the silly expressions his classmates wore. From right to left, most of them had ceased engaging in the match, opting to mock each other despite the teams they belonged to and joking about their undeniable attempt to avoid the ball the most they could.

Peeking at Ms. Sejeong, he could tell how aware she was of this fact, and based on the laughs leaving her lips, he could assure she didn’t mind much. Not when there were so few days to share with her as a class ahead.

Going back to the people he had spent the last three years of his life with, Chanyeol realized this would be one of the last times he would get to see such a carefree show, letting his mind tiptoe around the idea of waking up one morning just to meet those fools for one last time.

He didn’t like it a bit. Whether he said it or not, he knew he would miss seeing them at the beginning of each day immensely.

Disliking the sudden pain in his chest, he chose to look for a pair he knew would bring him joy. He spotted them lying over the green surface of one corner.

Chanyeol had to give them a standing ovation for their fearlessness, or rather their audacity. He had experienced firsthand the lack of abilities his friends possessed when it came to certain sports, so it was no surprise to see them giving up on achieving the activity’s goal when they got the chance to.

He had been laughing at the two men’s actions for so long that it took him a while to notice his eyes had found a new person of interest to focus on. At this point, it didn’t really startle him.

His friend was like a magnet for his attention. At this point, Chanyeol had learned to accept this reality.

All and all, it didn’t make it less entertaining.

Baekhyun was one of the only players who kept his guard up in his assigned position. Whereas the others avoided performing their roles on purpose, his constant frown and narrowed eyes suggested he took the competition as an important matter. Knowing him, the book lover would cross the field from end to end if the ball ever left the half-way line.

The half-assed shouts giving instructions didn’t seem to quell his spirit either. The injured boy found himself intrigued by the same person once again, indifferent to the blurred shapes living outside of his biased field of vision.

Chanyeol had no idea on what could be about his friend wearing an over-sized and tacky piece of clothing that made it such an impressive sight for him to behold, and yet here he was, noticing the kind of details he had been too scared to pick up on when having him close.

Looking at the pretty man from afar, he wondered how Baekhyun would look now if he wore the hoodie he had lent him that night and had never gotten back. He didn’t know where this thought had come from, but being too tired to resist the feeling it brought with it as it always did recently, he gave up on controlling whatever he felt when thinking of his special friend.

And it was precisely when Chanyeol’s soul was on the verge of pouring out of his ribcage at the idea of sharing his lost hoodie with his new owner at the same time when he saw the clothing thief alter his stance.

The daze Baekhyun was in didn’t last more than two seconds, and before anyone could predict what would happen next, he started sliding with the ball with the coordination of a newborn baby who, against all odds, was showing to be a fast learner.

Witnessing their classmate running in the right direction with no one trying to stop him seemed to had an immediate effect on the fallen bodies, who jumping to their feet with the help of the coach’s shouts, began chasing after the fast legs.

It was as if a fire had been lit inside of everyone.

“Five! Go do something to stop Byun!”

“Can’t you see … that’s what I’m … trying to do?”

After resting for too long, most of the students failed to reach Baekhyun, who continued fleeing from the resurrected warriors that couldn’t keep up with him.

By now, the game had come back to life in all its majesty, and everyone wanted to take part in the fun.

Chanyeol stood up in the split of a second, ice pack already forgotten on the concrete seating because of its unexpectedly instant magical healing effect at such a convenient moment.

“Min Min, are you with the blues or with Byun?” one of the girls remarked at the boy when he pushed his friend forward to the penalty arc, aiming to persuade his teammate to collaborate in vain.

There wasn’t much anyone could do right there, so when the yells and shrieks of laughter abounded between Baekhyun’s peers as he positioned near the goal area and everybody else held their breath, Chanyeol wasn’t the only one left stunned by the change of direction the ball took from there. Because right then, the red team’s soccer player passed the ball to a disoriented Sooyoung, who without thinking much, kicked it hard against the goalkeeper.

When each and every student froze in place realized she had scored a goal, the bubbly cheerfulness erupted from every person present, regardless of the color they wore to distinguish themselves from each other.

The image of victory was drawn upon whoever had finished the game, therefore the reason why the poor girl was lifted and thrown into the air against her will instead of lifting the one who had done almost all the work.

While the whole class’ attention had fallen on the girl Chanyeol had once thought was one of the cutest girls from his generation, it was only Baekhyun who he wished to get a glimpse of now.

When the shy grin walked out from the tumult that wouldn’t quit the celebration, Chanyeol noted the sun had won the battle with the moody clouds.

What he didn’t know that ordinary afternoon was why the dreamy star had only chosen to light up the one person withdrawing from the fuss, bathing him with its light in a secret act that no one but him was aware of.

Chanyeol chuckled. Maybe one day he would learn to decipher the mysteries of Mother Nature.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiiiii again <3  
I think I'm getting used to upload a new chapter every once two months, since I'm busier these days, so I hope whoever is still reading this story it's okay with waiting for that amount of time. If you're, then thank you very much!  
Now there're only 2 more chapters left... I can't believe next month will be a year since I started writing this fic. Thank you for any kind of interaction you've had with this story, I truly appreciate it a lot, and even though I don't know if someone's actually reading this note, I want to be honest and share my feelings, because that's the way I'm. I can't try to look cool.  
I know this is a simple story, where nothing much happens, as I intended to write it that way, to read the ordinary events in Chanyeol and Baekhyun's lives, but I feel really, really happy when I'm writing this. Writing a new chapter is always a challenge for me, as I struggle with writing in a second language, which makes me anxious because I never know if what I'm writing feels natural. But writing a story makes helps me so much, that I can overcome that negative feeling. So thank you for sharing this experience with me, even if only a few people get to read this and like it, I feel more than blessed. 
> 
> Please wait for the next chapters. I hope you have a nice week, and stay safe!  
Also, let's send all the love to Jongdae <3


	9. I don't need to build a house of stone

Since a long time ago, people had started using the concept of open doors to refer to a new opportunity taking place in life. To allow oneself to walk straight through that new empty entrance, or to let someone or something walk to you.

Since a long time ago, people had feared the possibility of change of any type, refusing to leave their comfort zone because its safety numbed the anxiety brought by a what-if.

All along, the pattern remained unaltered, with everyone holding onto whatever was left of their past selves until their knuckles turned white and the view in front stopped looking as scary as diving into the deep sea.

Once their feet sensed the sand between their toes again, however, the drowning bodies would blow bubbles of peace and excitement, to let others and themselves know they had survived crashing into the biggest void at the time, and they would probably do it again and again now that they had already started facing their fears.

They would get to learn later that facing them once didn’t make it any easier. It just gave one a memory to look back to, to gain strength by remembering what you had fought with fewer years on your back and less experience to use to one’s advantage.

And life was certainly a never-ending road of large doors to open. You could delay gripping on their iced doorknob forever, but your hand would look for the warmness that promised to come next eventually.

And so, some new scenery would come into view, and that would be enough to push you through the whole process of discovering an unknown reality once again.

When Chanyeol strode to the school for the last week of classes, he thought to have seen the doors he was leaving behind crumble to the ground. On that last Monday of his whole school life, the wooden gate that had always received his presence was a blurred image in his eyes. Under the dim ceiling lights adorning the hallways, it seemed to shake under his touch.

Chanyeol sighed in contentment when he recognized the faces waiting for him to join them. Maybe he still had some time before he had to abandon the place and the recollections saved inside.

A new day had begun, and there was something in the air that left no one indifferent to its charms.

“As you already know, this will be your last week here, so instead of having a normal class like I know you would have loved to have, feel free to share this precious time with your classmates.”

Engaging in the suggested activities was, to no one’s surprise, the greatest idea ever given by the strict old man with a constant frown. There was at least a small chance that the missing lines between his brows were due to knowing he wouldn’t get to see the little devils after the week was over.

With the future ahead, the whole class let their past differences and social groups created by affinity aside for the remaining days left and threw themselves into every improvised game anyone dared to propose.

Whether the shy kids had to be in charge of leading the group for the first time or the talkative students had to help in more discrete tasks instead of catching the attention of everyone around like they used to, no person avoided participating in their classmates’ competitions. Whatever somebody said was played with no objection.

The best part was probably spending time with the people who they never got close to, talking with them and realizing too late how much in common they had, and thinking of how silly they were for letting trivial matters ruin a good relationship.

The first two days went by in a flash as they played cards and board games with portable speakers accompanying the cheerful voices. By the third day, food got involved in all the activities done. The rule of not eating inside the classroom was abolished with the approval of all students and teachers.

When the teens had grown tired of staying inside the four walls, one person asked for permission to go outside. That day, everyone followed the courageous kid’s steps to the football pitch while meeting whoever came in their way with a loud chant.

The weather had seemed to consider their intentions as well, as it gifted them with a kinder sun than the typical seasonal one and a refreshing breeze that didn’t attempt to freeze their bones as they lay down on the grass, forming a big human circle. On any other year, they would have had to run with their arms over their heads, escaping from the downpour chasing them mercilessly.

And after all of those recreational activities came to an end, they were left with no more than a hundred photos and a heavy bag stuffed full of secret snacks for the following morning.

It couldn’t be helped. The last day had finally arrived.

As the daylight brightened the students’ profiles, the desks were emptied and moved aside to the corners to start the farewell party they had organized for about a month, and both girls and boys gathered in the center, each raising a glass of juice as the triumph it meant to leave school.

Even with all the different smells dancing above the crowd enjoying the banquet in the lively place, the sweet fragrance of the flowers swinging with the wind at the other side of the windows still reached Chanyeol’s nose. He turned to admire the colorful frame for a minute, delighted to find a quiet moment awaiting him while the rest of the world vanished beside him. Moments like this one promised to have a rich meaning that one could only appreciate in a meditative state.

And still, the silent pain nobody seemed to notice didn’t cease. He wondered why thinking of never seeing certain people again clouded his mind that way.

The reverie was interrupted when a pointing finger was spotted in his field of view.

“Gentle giant sage, would you care to pass me the chips?”

He nodded with a smile that wasn’t directed at anyone, too distracted by his own thoughts. He blinked twice in case that could make his eyes erase the traces of his sadness before engaging in the conversation going on at his right. He didn’t need to feel sorry for himself on such a day.

“You promise you won’t forget about me as soon as you meet new people?”

“How many times are you gonna ask me the same thing? I thought you would get tired after hearing me I’ll keep visiting you for the nth time.”

A pair of crying girls was discussing the future of their friendship as some other kids wrote messages on each other’s uniforms with pen markers. Meanwhile, Chanyeol helped Kyungsoo to return the chairs and tables to their right places.

“Do you think he’ll be alright?”

Chanyeol knew who his friend was talking about. Peeking at Junmyeon from where they were, he had the feeling the president would struggle a little bit more than the rest of the class to get used to his new life. Because, when he came to think of it, the school had been a much important part in the well-mannered boy’s youth than what it had been for him and the others.

Both men lifted the teacher’s desk when the majority of the people inside started to leave.

“He will,” he said before seeing the person in question looking at the ceiling. “Eventually.”

“Before you leave,” Junmyeon announced loudly so even the people at the bottom of the stairs could hear him, “what about one last picture together?”

He wasn’t doing a good job at hiding his tears when the room got crowded again, but he didn’t look bothered by it. That made Chanyeol smile.

“Would you stop pushing me? I know it’s you, Jongdae.”

The shortest students positioned themselves in front of a camera that appeared out of nowhere while the tallest made jokes at the back of the row.

“Can you hurry up? Mom’s waiting for me downstairs already.”

“Kick me one more time, and I swear–”

“President, just start!”

The addressed man ran to the improvised tripod and then back to the mess of a group, whom after hearing the countdown timer loud and clear began striking a new pose every one second.

And although Chanyeol’s eyes were supposed to lie on the same object his classmates’ eyes were focused on, staring at anything or anyone that wasn’t the man with the perfumed hair tickling his chin was beyond his control.

For unknown reasons even to him, the face of said man had become invisible to his sight that last week. He had neither intention nor strength to find the reason why.

“3, 2–”

Maybe remembering an invisible man was way worse than having one single happy memory.

“1–”

So at the last moment, he looked at the demon that long ago had started stealing his serene nights away from him.

“We’re free!”

He had been right. At least he could now bring the image of a smile frozen in time with him. 

“It’s okay. You can stop hugging me as you’ll never see me again now.”

“It’s not like I don’t already know that, Soo. Just bear with me, please.”

The trio was standing in front of the school’s gate along with lots of people of the same age waving everyone goodbye frantically. That must have been for younger students both an incredible sight to behold and a powerful reminder of what was waiting in line for them.

It was finally happening. They were never coming back to this place.

Chanyeol was supposed to feel relieved, didn’t he? So why was he the only one giving a step back?

“Then I guess I’ll see you around– wait, where’s–”

“Chanyeol?”

He needed to check something for the last time before leaving.

“Why are you blocking the way? Let’s go already, come on.”

But how could he explain how bad he needed to go back to their no-longer classroom?

He was fighting with his head, trying to put his thoughts into words, when a voice stopped him.

“Let him be, president. I have the feeling our friend has a good reason for not wanting to let go yet.”

Chanyeol wasn’t sure of what Kyungsoo’s smirk could mean, but he sure was glad for his intervention.

Not even directing a glance at the pair as they whispered on his way out, he turned on his heels and walked away with quick steps.

He didn’t encounter any of his classmates on the way, not even the teachers or the always-present janitors walking around the first floor. It was strange, but his mind was too busy to worry about it.

_What’s that I’m aiming to find there?_

He only realized he had begun running when he reached the second floor, gripping on the handrail for a moment until his lungs were refilled with air.

_What’s that I’m trying to do there?_

Not wanting to look like a madman in case anyone saw him right there, he slowed down his steps and kept his eyes on the end of the hall.

With sweaty hands and shaky legs, a man’s core could only dream to have a steady heartbeat. About five minutes after starting his companionless race, Chanyeol found himself standing beside the final door.

For a moment, he felt extremely afraid, as if his body had become so small that he couldn’t reach the handle and his limbs were too weak to keep himself still. But even then, the optimistic side of him he had thought had disappeared spoke to his ear, telling him to turn around. To see if what he had been looking for was waiting at the other side.

Putting on a brave smile as to encourage himself, he turned to the left. As soon as he did it, the smile he had faked faltered.

The room was empty. Nobody was waiting for him inside.

_To think I wished for something to happen. How stupid._

Chanyeol looked up at the changing sky, now full of clouds, before moving his eyes to the glass on the door one last time. And then, he saw him.

At the back of the classroom, where the sun didn’t reach its corners, was Baekhyun, looking out of the window in complete darkness.

With a lighter heart, Chanyeol closed the door behind him.

Baekhyun didn’t react at all, which he used to his advantage by moving slowly, all eyes on the person sitting undisturbed.

As he advanced, he had a flashback where he was in the same position, making his way to the man who had been standing under the mix of some string lights and the moon ray at the time. He had struggled with keeping his laugh under control back then, a reaction born from a foreign emotion he couldn’t make sense of now.

Whatever he was feeling now was, it was raw and serious. There was nothing to joke about.

Letting his body answer for him, he collapsed on the wrong way on the chair facing the board.

When the noise of his fall awoke the senses of the enchanted being, Chanyeol understood how reckless he had been. He had acted upon his emotions, and now that Baekhyun was looking at him with wide eyes, he discovered how little he knew about what an actual plan was. If there ever was a plan, to begin with.

When it came to him, the taller hardly ever knew what to do next.

“Why haven’t you left yet? Everybody’s at home already,” he asked with embarrassment, knowing full well the same could be said about him.

And yet Baekhyun only kept on staring, making Chanyeol’ ears to heat up at the nice view.

“I,” he began saying without taking his eyes off him, “I don’t know.”

So he hadn’t been the only one lost after all.

Feeling the other’s gaze on him became harder and harder to endure as seconds went by, so he opted for finding a new thing to look at, at least until his cheeks stopped burning.

“Want me to keep you company for a while?”

He couldn’t see his reply, but the silence that followed helped him guessing the answer.

The lack of sound only made the gloomy room lonelier, sadder. Both men seemed to have been affected by the blue atmosphere.

So this was it. Their time together had come to an end, and now it was time to move on.

“Perhaps I thought of all the events that took place within these walls, and I felt like delaying my departure as long as the person who found me allowed me to.”

Chanyeol was back at looking at him.

“So many things have happened here, I feel as though I’ve become one with the place, changing every time the sun came out of its den.”

The face he put then stole the air from Chanyeol.

“This is my way of saying goodbye to this part of my life.”

It took a moment before he made any sense of that sentence.

_Wait._

_Does that mean…_

“Are you leaving this town? You’re moving to a new place?” he said a little louder than what he would like to admit, confusion and worry overtaking him.

It seemed to switch something in Baekhyun.

“What– no, I mean, I don’t know yet, But I haven’t thought about leaving this place so, I don’t think so. I was talking about starting a new chapter, now that school is over, I think,” he said without stopping gesturing.

That eased the turmoil going on Chanyeol’s insides enough to give him a second wave of faith, one that hit him with lightning uncertainty.

“It was fun. Competing against you… Getting to know you was fun.”

Baekhyun blinked at him. “You thought so too?”

And he just nodded. And then, neither could break the eye contact.

In the quiet and isolated room, both men stayed like that, watching each other with curiosity, engaging in a staring contest they were dragged into without their consent.

This wasn’t a competition. This felt different.

So what was Baekhyun intending to do by offering his hand?

In the past, Chanyeol and Baekhyun had raised their hands many times, in hope of shaking hands as a sign of peace. It all had started because of Chanyeol’s inability of understanding Baekhyun. Because he couldn’t understand himself.

This time, there were few things he didn’t understand about his ex-classmate. Now that the misunderstanding was solved, there shouldn’t be any reason not to take the inviting hand he had avoided before.

It should be easy to finally take the hand in his, but when he looked at the reassuring smile directed at him, he knew he just couldn’t. Not when it felt like coming to terms with never seeing his friend again.

If rejecting his offer meant the slightest possibility of meeting him again with the same smile he was wearing now, then Chanyeol knew what to do. He would learn to trust his heart.

“Truce?” Grabbing Baekhyun’s hand and pulling it down, he chuckled guiltily when catching the hurt drew on his face. “We never know when we’ll have to compete with each other again, so I’ll much prefer to save this for the right time. But for now…”

Chanyeol was aware of his fast heartbeat and of the way his grin must have made him look like an idiot who had lost it, but he didn’t care. Not when the happiness of growing up and the emptiness felt for leaving everything behind became so evident in Baekhyun’s expression as well.

Chanyeol let go of the fist he had been holding.

“Good luck, Baek. And thank you… for all.”

The bittersweet feeling he had been carrying for so long was finally replaced with one of pure joy when the same hand he had held some moments ago looked for the warmth of his palm, even if only for a second.

“You never noticed I was the luckiest of them all.”

\---

Rainy days were never meant to come along without a purpose. Sometimes, they would come in a race, as if they were running out of time and wished to have a significant impact on the dry ground of the grey city. And sometimes, they would come in a prolonged visit, with no boss to control how long their stay could last.

For some people, tiny raindrops were just another state of the ordinary water they drank from the kitchen sinks, but for others, it was more than that dull explanation.

Those types of people were often called by society dreamers, a name that didn’t always carry a positive connotation with it. It was them who gave meaning to the natural phenomenon, adding value to something most would ignore in their busy lives.

It was precisely them who found a comforting pleasure in hearing the downpour’s dance over their windows’ frames, accompanied by the soothing presence of its friend, the wind, frequently knocking on the wet glass.

What a magnificent show it could be on happy days, and what a painful sensory experience was for the aching men.

On that sharp weekend, the blue tears had taken their time before showing themselves in the city.

There were no exclamations of surprise filling the silent night outside, nobody rushing to get their clothes inside their houses when everyone had seen it come with just a look at the upset sky. It was only shocking how late its arrival had been.

In a way, the lonesome university student who gazed at the spectacle from a dark apartment was thankful, for enjoying the company of the music pattern knowing there was someone out there who would come home with a running nose later left a sore taste on his tongue and an aching pulse on his temple.

It couldn’t be long before the door would open, revealing a shaking shape that left the traces of their unlucky trip all over the floor. But so far, the wooden entrance remained still.

The notorious delay wasn’t helping Chanyeol’s nerves to calm down.

It couldn’t when he had wandered across the few rooms he had at his disposition all day long, seeking a new place to ease his overloaded mind before the time to take an important decision came.

The night before, he had walked to the apartment he shared with his friend in solitude, one he hadn’t felt in so long. The strange disappointment he had felt when using the elevator to reach the seventh floor probably had less to do with him missing using the stairs and had more to do with the fact that there was no one beside him who could join him on a tiring and completely unnecessary task.

He had pushed all of his thoughts aside for as long as it took him to fell on top of his bed, yet the moment he let his eyelids close and saw nothing but blackness, he started imagining what tomorrow would be like.

Chanyeol couldn’t feign ignorance of his new discovery when every second reminded him of his feelings for Baekhyun. Now that he knew what that constant question inhabiting his mind had meant all of this time, he couldn’t turn a blind eye at his own emotions.

It would have been hopeless anyway when a powerful force inside of him urged him to act quickly before his fears could prevent him from doing anything.

It was like an instinct pulling on his strings to guide him to his deepest desire, blocking out the mumbles of his rational side asking him to think of the possible consequences, as if it hadn’t noticed the list numbered with negative outcomes pinned somewhere on his conscience.

On that infinite scroll stained in ink, there were dozens of reasons not to come clean when it could cause so much unnecessary pain, which could be prevented by sewing his mouth with a thread of stability that promised not to change a thing about their relationship. If there was so much he could keep intact with his silence, then there was so much to lose.

Conversely, letting his secret hidden in the shadows didn’t put what they had at risk, and didn’t threaten to destroy what they had built with so much care over the years.

He had read and reread all of these motives, but when he thought of losing himself in the process of keeping a façade alive, he couldn’t help but feel miserable.

Tonight, Chanyeol had decided to take a chance on himself, to listen to the distant words of encouragement he had been too frightened to listen to before.

A feeling of naïve nervousness overcame him then when a not-so-subtle cough trespassed through the door into the living room.

That same second, all of Chanyeol’s confidence was drained from his now wobbly body, making him jump with difficulty when the blonde put a foot inside.

It surprised Baekhyun, who tightened his grip on a bag Chanyeol didn’t think he had seen him carrying the night before.

For half a minute or so, the two men stood clumsily on their shared apartment, focusing on the boring details of their furniture none had paid attention to in other circumstances, because honestly, there was nothing to pay attention to normally.

Yet here they were, narrowing their eyes at a neglected lamp, skipping to address the elephant in the room as long as they could.

Acting this childish would take them nowhere, so Chanyeol decided to be the first one to speak, or so he thought before his opportunity was taken away from him.

“I,” Baekhyun began saying, sparing a glance at the frozen man for a brief moment before moving to the kitchen, “was already near when the rain began, therefore the cake is still pretty much edible, may I say.”

Chanyeol didn’t care about the cake as much as he did about his roommate catching the flu, but he still hummed in agreement.

Not wanting to be left behind, he staggered to the coffee machine and brought two cups with him.

“You up for some energy drink?” he asked as casually as he could, praying to God the other didn’t notice how shaky his hands were.

The answer didn’t come immediately, only being announced after Baekhyun had taken off his coat, which took him twice the time any normal person who held no grudges against someone would take.

Chanyeol felt small all of a sudden. Or that was until a heavy sigh was heard, and the owner of such sound turned to look at him completely for the first time in 24 hours.

“I always am. Thank you.”

It was a simple exchange of words, but it made Chanyeol less tense because, maybe, just maybe things couldn’t go so wrong.

Maybe Baekhyun would understand his undeniable feelings meant no harm, and he would come to accept them even though he didn’t want anything to do with Chanyeol on a romantic level.

Maybe he had meant all of those beautiful things he had said about him, and not even an unrequited love could break their friendship.

But if he never told him anything, how could he know?

He had to try, even if the result could prove him wrong because, how long could he resist admitting something so important for him?

The machine’s vibration climbed up to Chanyeol’s palms, letting him know the drinks were ready to travel to a new destiny.

The sliding drops hadn’t stopped counting their falls ever since they had begun their job. He got an idea, one he hoped would bring the tranquility that was lacking in the place.

For the next ten minutes, Chanyeol was coming in and out of the apartment, bringing a new article with him every time he stepped into the chilling balcony.

He had been careful not to bump into the sliding window on the many occasions he fought to fit in the space with wider arms due to what he carried, so he wouldn’t spill the two coffees on the floor. The task required a level of concentration Chanyeol didn’t think he possessed at that moment, but luck seemed to be by his side at least.

When the desserts were served and the dusty stools and coffee table they kept saved for a special day were put to use, there was only one thing missing for the setting to be ready.

Two minutes later, Chanyeol was wrapped in the warmest blanket to scare the cold. Now it was only a matter of time until someone would come to keep him company, hopefully.

Sitting there, he followed the shining light coming from the different buildings surrounding the area. Down on the streets, the illumination went on infinitely, even though it didn’t reach anyone for they were empty. And everywhere his eyes landed on, he was met with the same noiseless fate.

In a relatively busy neighborhood, it wasn’t every day they got to see the lonely roads singing along with the whistling wind, but if he was asked what he thought about it after today, he would say how glad he would be to witness the same case more frequently.

Sipping on his hot drink, Chanyeol captured the reflection of a bright sphere when he pulled his cup away. He instantly looked up, feeling a tight smile growing on his face.

Staring back at him was the full moon, glowing on for everyone, even the ones who didn’t know she was out there just for the night.

Without taking his eyes off her, Chanyeol let the silence to lull him, not being afraid of what his inner voice could come up with on the quiet moments like this anymore. It felt nice, like when he was about to fall asleep, and nothing in the world could disturb him right then.

Because right then, many images passed through his mind. Images of a time he had hated the guts of a particular boy, and images of new horizons expanding ahead of him flooded his every corner. He had to bite his lips so a laugh wouldn’t escape him.

Thinking of growing up beside the person he ended up falling in love with was something he would never stop being grateful for. It was still some pretty fresh information he had yet to fully grasp, but that didn’t mean the initial feeling hadn’t been there since the beginning.

How come he was calmer than he had ever been in the nine months he had been living there? Wasn’t he supposed to feel nauseous at the very thought of confessing what he had denied for so long?

He came to the conclusion that it wasn’t his anxiety that was acting for him, but his raw excitement that couldn’t wait another minute before spilling the rose live out of his system. And he learned, as he saw his steamy breath evaporating on the invisible air, that it was because he could now name the fireworks exploding inside of him every time a pretty smile was flashed at his unworthy eyes.

Chanyeol had drunk all of the dark brown liquid when he heard a nearby whisper calling out his name. It made him sit straight as he faced the dripping railing.

Instead of shouting his answer back or standing up to search for the owner of the voice, he just waited, crossing his fingers and hoping for the person who had called him to come to his side.

He waited and waited, forgetting about how much time had passed since he had heard his name, and how cold it felt to be all alone on the height that didn’t reach the blue sky, until he thought to hear the sound of the stool next to his adjusting to a new weight.

Chanyeol stiffened in place, letting out a shaky breath without turning to his left.

“The cake looks delicious… Why don’t you take a bite out of it?”

He could sense Baekhyun’s gaze upon him, but his answer didn’t come until after he heard him following his advice, munching the cake Chanyeol had already eaten from his own plate.

“This is the first time we are here for longer than a minute if I’m not mistaken.”

He nodded, unsure of whether he was being watched or not.

“There’s always a first time for everything, am I right?”

Although Chanyeol was trying his best to look as indifferent as he could, it was hard to tell if he was succeeding.

As he counted the many stars guiding him home, the night felt peaceful and comforting. Blinking the tears born from the frost away, Chanyeol thought of how to approach the topic floating around his head.

Looking at the constellations above, he numbered all of the special things he could lose after tonight, and yet, he didn’t hesitate to say what he was about to.

He had wasted so much of their time together, there was no way he wasn’t doing this.

And that was how Chanyeol started the conversation. By asking Baekhyun one of the true questions he had wanted to ask ever since they became friends.

“Say, Baekhyun… Have you ever been in love?”

He knew he was walking on thin ice, but he wasn’t expecting to move through an easy path either. Now that he had begun, there was no chance of running away.

Sneaking a peek at his side, Chanyeol saw two naked arms looking for some heat from the cup resting on a lap. He didn’t think twice before getting rid of the soft cover keeping him warm and placing it on top of the other’s shoulders.

Getting embarrassed by his sudden bravery, he went back to looking at nothing and everything at the same time.

But wait. This was exactly what he needed. To have a little bit of courage to pour out everything in the open.

He breathed in and out, once, twice, before gulping.

“Because I think I know how it feels.”

And right then, Chanyeol decided to let his heart take the wheel.

“I think love is such a difficult topic that most people don’t even come close to explain it correctly. From what I’ve heard and what I’ve seen, everyone has ever felt at least a little bit of love in their lives, whether that love comes in the form of a family bond or any other type of relationship there is to out there.”

Just like the night wrapping him up, his conscience was serene, and he could almost picture a ghostly hand cheering him up as only a mother could. So with blind faith, he raised his chin, praying to the Gods above not to let him alone when all of this was over and he had an answer, whatever that would be.

“I was showed how true love is since a very young age, when my sister and I would catch a glance at our parents dancing together in our living room, oblivious to their children watching them in secret. I remember not understanding what that look on their faces was, and only getting to know it once my sister came home looking just the same.”

He swallowed a laugh because everything seemed so… _surreal_ right now. He was really doing this.

“And I remember my sister telling me on a Christmas dinner, around the time when I was still trying to sneak out of class with my friends and all I could care about were games and dumb videos on the internet, how this would probably happen to me in the future. How love would end up finding us all when we least expected it. I didn’t believe her then… I didn’t believe her for a while.”

Still, no abrupt noise came to stop him, to let him know this absurd monologue was getting nowhere.

“When mom told me love was all about _learning to love someone_, I couldn’t get her, because, wasn’t love meant to be spontaneous? To feel a rush of happiness that never ceased, and never encountered any difficulty when the two people were by each other’s side? Then what was that shit about learning to love someone? Didn’t they ever grow tired of the other person?”

Then, he saw his roommate moving on his seat, perhaps not coping well with the situation. And although he didn’t enjoy making him uncomfortable, Chanyeol still continued, because if he didn’t, then he would never gather enough confidence to bring up the topic again.

“But I think I get it now,” he said as he felt his heart skip a beat. “I think I finally understand the beauty of love.”

Chanyeol didn’t know what to think of Baekhyun’s silence, but at least he was letting him speak with no judgment.

“Love is all about learning to love someone because we decided that falling in love with the same person day after day, and learning how to fall in love, again and again, is what makes us the happiest. Because learning to share a life with someone that makes you a better person, and in exchange, you make them a better person too, is the best thing we could ever do. It’s about choosing to be vulnerable with them when the world tells you to keep your eyes open for the danger. I think that’s what love is all about.”

Chanyeol heard his own heavy breathing then, but it was the same type of sound that came from his left that made him nervous. It seemed like he wasn’t the only one getting all fired up.

“And I– I think that… I think that love knows no limits, and nobody can choose who to love, because love was never about superficialities.”

At this point, he knew he was starting to beat around the bush, but everything he had said felt necessary to be said, so why should he stop?

“And if you asked me, I’d say that that’s a beautiful yet scaring thing to feel,” Chanyeol said now with a grin, “but all and all, it’s all worthy in the end, if that means to spend your life with a… partner… who’s there to greet you every morning. To hold you tight when you’re hurting until the pain stop. To be there for them when they’re afraid and to show them there’s nothing to be afraid of as long as you’re both together. To have a friend they can count on, whenever they need to. To make them laugh when all they can think of is cry–”

_“Chanyeol.”_

And then he looked to his side and saw the man he loved with a broken expression.

_“Did you fall in love with someone when I didn’t notice?”_

It was a horse voice, one that urged him to answer as quickly as he could to stop repeating the unbearable recording all night long.

Looking Baekhyun straight in the eyes, Chanyeol swallowed.

_“I did.”_

But it was the sight of the two dropping eyelids that made him say what he hadn’t had time to add before.

There had never been a calmer night than this one.

_“I fell in love with you, Baekhyun.”_

At that moment, all Chanyeol could see were Baekhyun’s eyes locking with his.

_“You were by my side during the best parts of my youth, and I let you because I was learning to love you. Baekhyun, I started adoring you before I even knew what that word meant.”_

The silence had come again, but this time, Chanyeol couldn’t figure out what to feel anymore.

_“I’m sorry if I’m causing you any inconvenience by saying this, I just– I just needed to–”_

And then, Chanyeol’s only opportunity to finish his sentence was stolen from his lips with a light kiss, one that took all of the confusion he had been dealing with for years and all of his breath away.

It could have been short and sweet, or desperate and painted with passion, and it still wouldn’t have changed how liberated Chanyeol felt the moment their lips met, as if his soul had finally found comfort on the isolated one that always awaited his around the corner.

All of the tension that had been building up inside of him since they first met was erased when Baekhyun’s hand trembled over his burning cheek, and all of his efforts for having any coherent thought died. There was no case in holding up anymore, not now that the love he had secretly longed for had a clear shape.

The moment Baekhyun pulled away with his eyes still closed and a faint smile plastered on his face was the moment Chanyeol knew his will to learn to love him every single day would never end.

“I,” the man who was retrieving his hand and was opening his eyes slowly whispered, “I don’t know what I’m doing right now. Forgive me, Chanyeol, for I must have misunderstood your–”

But Chanyeol had no patience left for any other troubling misconception, and before Baekhyun could doubt his honesty, he brought him closer by his face, holding him just as gently as the kiss he gave him next was.

This time, all of the air stolen from him seconds earlier returned in an explosion of colors and sensations he had never felt before, all of the inspiration that had once been lost with his innocence came back in the form of some shy, yet heartwarming caresses none seemed to want to stop.

And soon, in the middle of the bliss they were thrown into, they managed to become aware that there couldn’t be a worse combination than sitting and kissing at the same, what made them stand up with all the grace two people that didn’t want to separate for a second could have, just so they could prove themselves that _this… this was real._

Having Baekhyun kissing him back would have never been in Chanyeol’s list of things he wished to do when getting older back then, when his dreams didn’t involve developing feelings for a friend. But life was wiser than a mere mortal, and it always knew what was needed rather than what was wanted.

So when Chanyeol kissed him again, and again, and again, he realized he would never be able to let go now that he had tasted what true love felt like.

Such was the mystery of Baekhyun’s love.

Little by little, the intensity of the moment that had caught them began to decrease, and the drowsy bubble they had been in for a while burst as they put some space in between each other.

Chanyeol and Baekhyun didn’t let go when their eyes met and instantly began searching for any minimal sign of regret in the other’s, nor did they do when the moonlight bathing their soft features exposed the true nature of their mutual yearning either.

The night Chanyeol confessed his feelings for Baekhyun was the night he accepted they had both won. And with their final competition coming to an end, there was only one thing left to do. One thing they had tried to do so many times but to no avail.

The night Chanyeol and Baekhyun finally understood each other was the same night they intertwined their fingers hesitantly, only to hold each other’s hands with placid smiles.

“Why didn’t you tell me anything?”

“I valued our friendship more than any kind of none mutual sentiment I could have developed for you.”

“But I must have hurt you so many times, Baek.” Looking at him blushing, he got an idea of what could have gone through the other’s mind. “You thought I would hate you for liking me?”

Baekhyun shook his head. The smile was still there.

“I thought you would feel owed to reciprocate the love I had for you, and I would never put you in such an unfair situation. We had just become friends when I realized I was already in love with you. I couldn’t do that to you.”

_He was in love with me then. He is in love with me now._

“I know I can’t change how slow I’ve been, but from today on, I promise you, Baek, I’ll… Baekhyun? Why are you looking at me like that?”

Truth to be told, Baekhyun had the same type of look he wore every time he and Chanyeol were close to each other. The only difference was that now the man didn’t turn away with an excuse of the things he should be doing instead.

_“How?”_ he mumbled sheepishly, blinking slowly at Chanyeol.

Maybe exposing his feelings had made him sleepy, while he, on the other hand, felt like he could climb a whole hill and would still have more than enough energy saved to climb a second one.

Speaking of sleeping, only now did Chanyeol notice what Baekhyun had been wearing since he came out of the bathroom.

A dressing gown. Baekhyun had worn a dressing gown the whole time. It hadn’t made him look less pretty at all.

Not feeling like a few kisses were enough, Chanyeol came closer and pecked him on the cheek, hoping his lover would feel how much he cherished him, before stepping back and starting to guide them inside.

“What about the… stools and the plates? S– Should we go back to pick them up? I– I can go while you go back to bed.”

How cute could his friend be when he stuttered?

Right. There were more than friends now.

“Forget about it. We can think about it tomorrow.”

Chanyeol wanted to have him near so much it was making him dizzy.

“Chanyeol!” Baekhyun cried out in between breaths, alarming the addressed man to death. “I– I have to go out tomorrow, and I– I need to study, and we just– we just… to take things… _further.”_

Oh.

Chanyeol didn’t laugh this time, even when he felt he could pass out for how adorable Baekhyun was.

Instead, he let his fingers play with Baekhyun’s hair, thinking that would make him look at him again.

He had been right.

“You don’t have to worry about that. Not now, and not ever. I wouldn’t put pressure on you to do anything you wouldn’t like to, I give you my word. I’m just way too happy to know how to act in front of you now, that’s all.”

In the dark room, the two bright eyes that had looked so sad before were now full of life.

“I know, and so am I.”

Being occupied with more important matters, Chanyeol hadn’t registered that the continuous sound that had been so prominent before couldn’t be heard anymore. Somewhere in between their bashful confessions and their tender kisses, the rain had stopped.

“So, glasses… you should go to sleep if you want to wake up early.”

If Baekhyun planned on doing as he said, then why didn’t he let go of his hand yet?

“I know.”

And why was he making this harder for both?

“You do? Then hurry up and go have nice dreams, come on!”

Chanyeol could see something was bothering him, so he waited patiently for the proper reason behind the strange behavior.

“Are you sure I’m not dreaming already?”

What a funny question that would have been if it hadn’t implied his incapacity for trusting today’s events.

“I am. Now go have some nice dreams because I’m not going anywhere.”

Nodding as he gave him one last smile, Baekhyun withdrew his hand from his. The door was open again. 

“Goodnight, my friend.”

_You’re wrong, Baekhyun. We were always so much more than friends._

_“Goodnight, my love.”_

When the image of his departure abandoned his side, Chanyeol knew Baekhyun’s good wishes would be in vain. After all, there was no way he could ever fall asleep when one of his biggest dreams had escaped from his imaginary world and had landed right at the other side of the wall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! It's me, mario again.  
So, we're finally here <3 It's been more than a year since I uploaded the first chapter of this fic, and that's a lot of time. I hope the people who found this story when it was just beginning are still reading it, and I hope the people who joined later like it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I'm so grateful for all the types of feedback you've given me, and I'd love to give at least one person a good time.  
All I can say about this chapter is: Finally.  
Thank you, and let's see where this ends! I'll always love to read what you think of it.  
Take care <3


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